Surprise!

This week's episode was full of surprises between unexpected lesbian weekends, birthday parties, and prayer cloths.

No. 3 - Hunk of Burning Love

To escape all the drama with Sheree, NeNe whisked Cynthia and Kandi off to Miami for a little rest and relaxation. And unsurprsingly Kandi mixed with a girls' weekend leads to conversations about sex. Specifically about, you guessed it, dildos! Now Kandi may be an "initimate luxury specialist," but NeNe is no fan of toys. She claims she's scared that she'll get third degree burns down below, but in her interview I think we get the real reason -- a dildo can't pay you any compliments in bed. Point well taken.

However things got really real when Kandi revealed that she needs a man who will "kiss both of her lips." It was NeNe's turn to take the expert role however when she shared that someone could be a good kisser but a bad "eater." You really have to give the Atlanta ladies credit, they are not shy about their initmate needs whatsoever. Who needs Sue Johanson when you have The Real Housewives of Atlanta? No. 2 - Queer Coincidence

I mean really? A girls' weekend where the ladies wanted to cruise for guys ends up being lesbian pride weekend? Even I would have had a hard time believing that they didn't learn that until they got there, if the exact same thing hadn't happened to a friend of mine. I'm not even kidding (although it was gay men rather than lesbians). Evidently either Miami is constantly having pride weekends (in which case I need to spend more time in Miami) or they just don't advertise them very well. In any event, the our Atlanta girls are "strictly dickly" according to NeNe, so finding a Miami fling wasn't in the cards this time around.

No. 1 - A Woman of the Cloth

The prayer cloth that is. Once again Phaedra teaches us about something that not everybody knows about, and that something is the prayer cloth. This is just a small, napkin-like piece of fabric that a lady carries around to cover her lap so as not to expose herself when wearing a skirt in church. It's probably also useful if you want to sit on the grass in a park or are in desperate need of a napkin after enjoying some cheese doodles while taking a stroll. Don't leave home without it!

I also have to point out how wonderful the interactions between Willie Watkins and Phaedra are. First off, he constantly needs to be subtitled because he's such a fast yet low talker. Second, whenever Phaedra gets too caught up in the money side of the funeral business, he reminds her that it's all about family and compassion. He's like the little hard to understand angel on her shoulder, and it's adorable! Next week things get tense between Apollo and Peter at Kim's baby shower. This certainly doesn't look like it's going to end well.