Kenya's Tacky Yet Funny Performance

Hey guys, dolls, and those of you who haven’t quite figured it out! If you’ve been looking for me, I’ve been out making the world more fabulous by the minute. So, since this is lucky Episode 13, I figured it was the perfect time for me to come back and kick up some dust.

So, let’s start with a quick recap. Since I last talked to you, Phaedra and Kenya have gone from BFFs to BWAs. (Don’t know what that means? I’ll tell you: “bitches with attitudes!”) The battle royale is brewing over donkey vs. stallion booties. Phaedra thinks Kenya has butt shots and Kenya thinks Phaedra looks sloppy. I haven’t seen a cat fight like this since Sheree pulled Kim’s wig. A mess!

Next, though she keeps getting caught in the middle of the “ass battle,” Cynthia is coming out of the starting blocks trying to get her Russell Simmons hustle on. (No shade!) The “Miss Renaissance” Pageant? Work, Cynthia! Can’t wait until Miss America/USA/Gone With the Wind Fabulous weighs in on that. I feel another battle of the beauties brewing.Speaking of beauty, is Porsha not gorgeous? But also, is Porsha not…kind of…air headed? She makes me smile when I see her, but that smile quickly turns into a laugh, because you never know what’s brewing in that little head! I was ready for her to take me to church when she was about to sing last night, but we never got that far. They say everything happens for a reason, and maybe the fact that we didn’t get to hear her saved us from something. I also can’t skip mentioning Porsha and Kenya’s latest argument, “Battle High-Top vs. Ashy Feet.”  Are these women kidding?

Laying low this week was Kandi. Kandi is in love under new management, and she ain’t got time for nothing other than Todd (and cashing checks of course). But she is holding down her position on Team Donkey Booty. Kandi doesn’t play about anybody messing with her or her friends’ money. Those are fighting words!Shouts to NeNe, who is doing her thing in LA. I can’t wait until she gets back for more of the drama that’s brewing while she’s getting her TV career on. Get it, Glam-Mom!

Speaking of NeNe, before I go, I have to mention the “shock the hell out of me” moment of the week -- Kenya Moore as Phaedra Parks at NeNe’s Shoe Dazzle event. Was that not a MESS!? I mean, I don’t care who you’re imitating, you don’t get a pass to be tacky. It was funny though!

The season is definitely getting more and more interesting by the week, and of course, I know that it gets crazier. Trust me when I say that!  These women are going for blood!

Oh yeah, congratulations Kandi and Todd! OK, I’m out. There’s a twirl for you!

Muah!

Derek J.