Cynthia: Kenya and NeNe Were Both Wrong

Cynthia gives her take on the masquerade ball disaster.

By Cynthia Bailey Feb 20, 2014, 4:43 PM ET

Hello everyone! Welcome back to another drama filled episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta! Let’s jump right on in!

BAR ONE: KENYA'S CASTING

As a wedding gift to NeNe for missing her gorgeous wedding, Kenya decided to host a masquerade ball/charity event in NeNe's honor. I thought this was a thoughtful gesture on Kenya's part, since there was still some tension between them from the Pillow Talk Party and Spa Day. The charity Saving Our Daughters is one of the charities that NeNe supports, so when Kenya asked me to be a judge, I happily complied. I also agreed to let her use Bar One as the space to hold her Atlanta’s Most Eligible Bachelor casting. Anything for charity and my girl NeNe.

Kenya asked my sister Mal to be a judge (they made up), and also surprised me by inviting Marlo to judge as well. The last time I saw Marlo was at the winery with the other ladies. Apparently she and Kenya made a connection there and became friends. Although Kenya's casting did not have the "Gone with the Wind Fabulous" turnout that she anticipated, it was all in the spirit of charity and we had a great time!

ROLLER DERBY

This was a great opportunity for all the ladies to officially smother any ill feelings that may have been still lingering in the air from Pillow Talk. Kandi and I moved on and put our differences behind us. Kenya apologized for anything that she may have done to escalate the situation at Pillow Talk. Porsha got the great news that she was casted in Kandi's play A Mother’s Love. Congrats! It was nice to just joke around, be silly, and have fun again. INDUSTRY STUDIOS: MY OFFICE

Now how you are you going to have a charity event in someone's honor and not invite the honoree? I asked NeNe if she got an invitation to Kenya's Ball. NeNe informed me that Kenya had not invited her and the only reason she knew anything about it is because Marlo mentioned it to her. NeNe said that she hadn't talked to Kenya since the spa. No phone call, no text, no email, no nothing. So I asked NeNe if she was going to the ball now that she knew about it. She said she would wait to hear from Kenya, and we would see what happens.

FYI: When Kenya initially started planning her event for NeNe, I remember her telling me that it was supposed to be a big surprise, and not to say anything to NeNe yet. I promised her that I wouldn't. I talk to NeNe almost every day, and I'm pretty sure that I mentioned to her that Kenya was planning something for her and would probably be reaching out soon. Although I didn't have any details at the time (Kenya was still in the early stages of planning), I remember being vague because I didn't want to mess up her surprise. I am not big on surprises (even though Peter insists on surprising me all the time), so I just wanted to give NeNe the heads up to expect a call or something from Kenya. It was always Kenya's place to extend a formal invitation to NeNe and give her all the details. BOTTOM LINE

Long story short, NeNe said she wasn't invited and Kenya said she was. I agree with NeNe that Kenya should have picked up the phone and personally invited her, especially since it was in her honor. Even if Kenya did send the evite, I think the personal touch would have gone a long way under the circumstances. As a courtesy, NeNe also should have been told that she would be asked to say a few words on behalf of the charity. I believe that Kenya had good intentions when she put together this ball for NeNe, but she could have handled some of the details a lot better.

However, I also think that the way NeNe dealt with the situation once she got to the event could have been handled better as well. So in my opinion, they both were wrong in their own way. We all know two wrongs never make a right! My suggestion to NeNe was to just be the bigger person and graciously go to the event. Especially since it was for charity! A proper invitation (or not) was besides the point, because now her name was already attached to it. My interest as her friend first and foremost was to make sure that she came off as a class act. She could always get Kenya together later over cocktails about the technicalities. I stalked her all day long and begged her to take the high road and go to the event. I just kept thinking about how bad she was going look if she didn't show up. Well, things don't always work out the way you want them to. The good news is that after calling NeNe about 855 times, she took my advice and did show up. The bad news is that she was "hotter than fish grease" (southern belle way of saying she was not a happy camper) when she got there! I knew immediately that I had made a big mistake, because she made it very clear that she didn't want to be there, charity or not. NeNe is my girl and I will support her on just about anything as long as it is the right thing. I do not agree with how NeNe approached the situation, and I can see how her actions came off as kind of mean spirited. However, I am not NeNe, I am Cynthia. We are all grown and we make our own choices. Last time I checked, no one has crowned me Mother Superior, so who am I to judge?

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[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/Kxl62NSK6RpR]I AM NOBODY'S FLUNKY

Well, just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. Some of the people at the event were visibly a little uncomfortable. Peter was one of them and wanted to leave. I knew why he wanted to go but didn't want to accept the fact that night had come to a dead end.

FYI, Kenya: Peter was the first one to say he was leaving the party before NeNe even decided to leave. Peter left first, and we all followed suit.

PETER AND NENE IN THE DRIVEWAY

So, now we are in the driveway waiting for our cars, and NeNe overhears Peter telling me why he wanted to leave. NeNe walks over to confront him. I felt Peter's tone was appropriate, and he was not being disrespectful to her in their conversation. I also thought that what Peter was trying to tell NeNe was coming from a place of love and support. Peter completely understood NeNe's point of view, but felt like the charity was the focus. In my opinion, friends who care about each other should always be able to tell each other when they are right and when they are wrong.

As the conversation escalated, Peter ended up dropping the F word, and NeNe later goes on to call him bitch assness. I agreed with what Peter was trying to tell NeNe, and knew in my heart that it should have been me having that conversation with her instead of him. I just didn't feel that it was the right time to talk to her, because she was so pissed off and we already had enough drama to deal with for one night. I thought it would be more appropriate to talk to NeNe the next morning over a stack of banana pancakes once she cooled off. Sadly, the pancakes never happened. At the end of the day, I really felt horrible because I was the one that convinced NeNe to come in the first place and didn't want to be responsible for any more foolishness that night. My heart was in the right place, and what's done is done. However, I have often wondered since that night if I had tried to talk NeNe and the words were coming out of my mouth and not Peter's if she would have been more receptive. I say this because of the whole "a man shouldn't step to a woman thing," even if in this case the woman actually stepped to the man.

Last but not least, I thought it was very offensive for NeNe to say that none of the women at the event were on her level. Those words spoke volumes, and I kept wondering as her friend if I was included. I am hurt if this is how she feels, but if this is her truth, I have no choice but to accept it.

Thank you all for your continued love and support! I appreciate all of you. More drama is on the way! Make sure you tune in every Sunday night at 8/7c. Only on Bravo!

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Love you guys!
Cynthia Bailey

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