Recap: Bailey Bowls and Toilet Bowls

Forget the Olympics, this weekend's big sporting event was clearly the Bailey Bowl. Not even Johnny Weir reading a pair of ice dancers for f---ing up their twizzles would have equaled the shade that was thrown this week. And that's saying something. So let's warm up with all the events leading up to Cynthia's field day fiasco, shall we?

Everyone was still reeling from the events of Kenya's masquerade ball and NeNe's short and not so sweet speech. NeNe had some serious regrets over releasing NayNay, her bad girl alter ego, at the event, but NeNe felt bullied and lost her cool. Gregg listened carefully and offered his advice all while drinking from a toilet mug, because of course. He is almost certainly the only man in the world who can drink from a toilet mug and still manage to be completely likeable.



Kenya spilled the tea to her new gal pal Marlo, doing her best impression of NeNe icing her out.



According to Kenya, she drew a lot of inspiration from Zoolander, which made me hope that at some point this season there will be a runway walk/pose off. But I digress.Cynthia has been planning a surprise birthday party for Peter. And the day of, as her scheme went into action and she was clearly feeling pretty pleased with herself, Peter decides to call her and cancel his birthday "dinner" because he was tired.



Cynthia I think almost passed out, but luckily she rallied just in time to convince Peter to show up a little later and at least partially surprise him (he ran into Kandi in the parking lot).

Kenya took the opportunity to talk to NeNe face to face, apologizing for the pillow talk party and also addressing the drama from the charity ball. NeNe certainly didn't make it easy for Kenya or hold back on her feelings, prompting Kenya to make this face:



It kind of looks like a mix of disbelief, fear, and confusion. In any event they slapped five/hugged and appeared to move forward if somewhat begrudgingly. But as soon as Marlo and Kenya started feeding each other hors d'oeuvres, NeNe removed herself before NayNay could make an appearance.

Later Kenya does some Googling about vacations and decides to plan a couples' trip to Mexico for the group. She'll also be bringing Miss Lawrence along as her date/bodyguard. Call me crazy, but I think that's a great choice -- Lawrence could stop anyone in their tracks with his fabulous outfits!

And then the main event -- The Bailey Bowl. Each lady has her own team (I'm still trying to figure out why Porsha's was "Team Naked") to compete in a series of strenuous physical challenges involving eggs and hula hoops. Kandi revealed that she's uber competitive, to the point where she hired an Olympic athlete and a WWE superstar for her team. (Keep in mind, this is for hula hoop races.)However this all fell apart when Marlo showed up to support Team Twirl. Kenya and Marlo tried to be all chummy with NeNe and it did not go well. Like menacing water bottle throwing not well. So NeNe peaced out, Marlo chased her and threw around some insults about her "Donald Trump Weave," and the whole event basically came to a a sad end.

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Now we'll never know if there were medals or trophies! If there were, they should all have gone to Gregg for this:



Dust off your sombrero, because next time the ladies are heading to Mexico! It looks like fun, sun, and very unexpected husband duels.

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