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Magic and Ponytails

Episode 3:'s Associate Editor discusses Kim Richards' career as a magician and peace-maker and Portia's love of poop.

Another week -- another batch of Rocky Mountain highs and lows. Things got a bit messy when Taylor came out of the hot tub feeling rather heated, sending another meal to the Beverly Hills blacklist. But one woman went above and beyond, even pulling out feats of illusion to try to lighten the mood. Which is why I'm nominating Kim Richards for:

How to Watch

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Number 1 Magician and Problem Solver

God bless Kim Richards -- for so many reasons, this week in particular, because the woman can lighten a mood with the simple mention of magic. Not only did she do her darnest to hear Taylor out pre-meal (and during, even when no one let her talk), in the end she was the one brazen enough to break the mood with mention of her magic. Then Kim said she'd throw a napkin at Taylor and began doing what I think might have been an Emeril Lagasse impression. Why was that the ideal icebreaker? No idea. People love Emeril (we do, he's judging Top Chef this season), so maybe Kim just believed that his loveable Cajun sensibility was the perfect antidote to Taylor’s emotional state. Whatever the reason, it worked. Kim "Bam"-ed her way to better moods for all the ladies involved. I just wonder what other magical tricks Kim has up her sleeve. Card tricks? Can she pull small animals from hats (Lisa's fur ski hat would be a great place to start)?

Personally, I think Kim could use her magical skills in other tense dining situations. She could smooth things at important lunches during Congressional sessions or other bargaining-based meals. Just give Kim a napkin and toss her into the Senate's cafeteria. She could help create a bipartisan government by simply using small Cajun-based illusions to help the Senators see their commonalities. It's worth a try!

Also worthy of honorable mentions in the cause to diffusing the dinner party: lip gloss and the Chef Tracey. Poor Chef Tracey, it's hard enough presenting your food to such discerning ladies as the Beverly Hills Housewives, but you've really got to sell that carrot ginger soup in a situation like that.

Moving onward to other events that were lightening the mood this week. . .

Mauricio: Not a Big Smoker

I'm not a big cigar smoker myself, but if Paul Nassif is lighting a very expensive stogie for me with a utility lighter, I'm going to try a little harder to not look like it makes me want to yak. Mauricio on the other hand, is less able to hide his disdain for smoking – even if it’s the best money can buy. One puff is not going to do it friend. Not to peer pressure you, but Paul is not going to let that cigar go un-smoked, so get to it.

Speaking of peer-pressuring: guys, maybe Ken isn't ready to heli-ski. Sure, it would make for a great episode, but I don't think he can do it carrying Giggy, and if he can't, it's probably not an activity that Ken is comfortable with.

Portia Loves Poop

I'm sorry, is Kyle Richards' daughter Portia the most adorable child in the world or what? She's at least the most agreeable tot I've seen in ages. She makes picking up dog droppings look like the most fun activity in the world. It's like a Dora the Explorer episode, if Dora was hunting for things that her puppy had left behind. With that sort of enthusiasm, Portia could make picking up poop very trendy. Just keep making picking up poop look like so much fun Portia. The parents of America appreciate your contributions to enjoying your chores.

Ponytails and Box Seats

In other picking up the poop news, Adrienne tried to deal with her own bit of a s—tstorm. She was in talks to move her basketball team, the Sacramento Kings, to Oakland, and fans were less than enthused. Considering the heated state of affairs Paul suggested skip the team's last home game (and facing off with hoards of angry fans) in favor of a small dinner in San Fran instead.

Adrienne, being the tough cookie that she is, however, was not about to back down. So the Bickersons hoped in the car, bickering the whole way to the airport.

When they got there, Kim was running late. A quick call to Miss Richards revealed that she was hung up for various reasons, one of which was her hair. I’ll let her explain:

I was ready to draw my hair in a ponytail, wet. And then I thought, "No way!! In the middle of the Sacramento King guys?!"

You can't blame a Beverly Hills lady for wanting her follicles to look their absolute best. And Kim's right, the Sacramento Kings have probably seen their fair share of plain old ponytails before. But what exactly was Kim's hold up, besides her need for a more Sacramento Kings approved 'do? We'll have to wait until next week to see how she managed to board in time for tip-off.

Also next week, we finally get to meet friend of the Housewives -- Brandi Glanville, and it seems like she and the gals aren't exactly giant fans of each other from the get go.

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