Taylor Gets Shushed

Ep 3: Bravotv.com's Editor wonders when she can sing and what's in Kim's chicken salad.

Hello my little sopranos! I hope you passed your drivers test and saved room for chicken salad, because we have a lot to discuss. Let’s start at the pre-prom party.

Prom Night
We start with Kim prepping Kimberly for the prom. Kim's very nervous because she didn't have a prom, so Kimberly's has to be perfect. She wants to make sure there's enough nuts in Kimberly's chicken salad. Truly, this was one of the sweetest moments we've had on Beverly Hills. There's poor Kim just wanting Kimberly to stay and hang out and drink some lemonade, while Kimberly, like any teenager in the free world, can't get out of the house fast enough. After she high-tails it out of there with her strapping beau, Kim's left looking out the window watching them jet off into the night. Aww. Call your mother. She probably did the same thing when you left for the prom. Tell her you're sorry you didn't eat more chicken salad. Make her a chicken salad and call her. I got so misty over Kim and that damn chicken salad. Maybe it's just me.

In other Richards daughters are growing up so fast news, Kyle's daughter Alexia is brushing up for her driver's test. Kyle is understandably very nervous, probably because she has PTSD from having a bee attack her in a convertible once. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, besides texting and driving, there's another great affliction affecting at least scores of teenagers on the road -- random bee attacks. Close your soft tops and avoid driving with open containers of honey.

Alexia manages to nail the parallel parking practice. . .which is good because she’s practicing in a Porsche.

This is The Dinner
Our newest lady Yolanda has decided to host a dinner party. Like any of us, she's starts the process by meeting with her butler to debate goat cheese cakes and asking Babyface or having cocktails overlooking her lemon grove. No big deal, just wander around the extensive grounds and have some apps and 'zerts. Sit by the outdoor fireplace and feel embraced by Yolanda.

And how does Yolanda achieve that level of embracing? By arranging enough splendid flowers to make Martha Stewart weep for beauty. Then she just trots out to the garden to pick the freshest, most perfectly pink petals, and take from her hundreds of lemons on reserve. Remember in the premiere when Brandi walked into Lisa's closet and just muttered "f--- you" out of jealousy? That's how I felt watching Yolanda pluck perfectly tended flowers and fruits. Just c'mon! How perfect is your life?!? I mean you did work under 100 guys to build it, but I'd deal with that if it was required to have that phenomenal house.

In the Dog House
Later, Lisa swings by Kyle’s to discuss the Adrienne situation -- and to feed her dog animal crackers. Lisa admits that she was slightly strategic in leaving Portia's party a little early, but only because she didn't want to have a row at the shindig. Lisa doesn't understand why Adrienne even wants to make up with her if she thinks she's so low. Lisa is willing to try to make up with Adrienne. . . but it's going to need to start with an apology. Here's hoping that's how Adrienne chooses to start their next convo.

Of course, when Adrienne picks Kim up for the festivus, she and Paul admit they are anxious to see Lisa. Paul's not particularly ready to move forward, so it's outlook cloudy he's going to open with an apology. Hopefully he can keep his angst to himself over dinner, lest Yolanda enter the pantheon of Housewives who have hosted dramatic events so soon.

So the ladies start to arrive, and quickly realize that Yolanda's butler is Camille's former butler. Ruh roh, was he the harbinger of bad vibes at the Dinner Party from Hell? Was he sprinkling each goat cheese tartlet with dramatic tension? Quickly, distract yourself with this walk-in, vegetable color-coordinated fridge. Things should be fine!

Of course, nothing is exactly fine. Tension abounds between Lisa, Paul, and Adrienne. Taylor gets a little too familiar with Chris Botti about Brandi’s comment from the Villa Blanca party. Things even out when David tells he and Yolanda's adorable love story, and then even more quickly to beautiful music. Of course, not all of God's creatures make beautiful music (myself included, I have a heinous singing voice), and David maybe forbids the women from singing -- which does not go over well with Taylor. Nor does the playlist. . .We'll see if her DJ request ends up putting a rift between she and Yolanda.

We leave off with Lisa finally sitting down with Adrienne. How will that go? You'll have to wait until you've given all your Thanksgiving thanks to find out. Til then, what are you thankful for? Was it watching the women conga line to David Foster's music? Was it the animal crackers Lisa snuck you? Was it your color-coordinated fridge? Do tell in the comments.


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