Joyce Won't Kick Brandi While She's Down

Hola Mis Amores! First and foremost I have to say that I'm very thankful to God because through this experience he has lead me to all of you. Your love and support means the world to me and I'm very thankful and humbled. Reading all your sweet tweets gave me huge smiles and sometimes huge snorts. LOL.

I know you all want to hear about tonight's episode so lets get straight to it. . .

If I looked bored for the remainder of the dinner its because I was. I was so over the bickering and bantering. I was so over listening to women say they are "girl's girls," while they beat the rest so much they make them cry while at the same time trying to act as if they are superior to the world. Between Brandi's stupidity and Yolanda's arrogance I just wanted the dinner to be over.

It was nice to get in the water with Kyle -- on my terms! I don't do things because I'm pressured into it, as you've already seen and as I told all the girls. . .I do swim but I swim like a puppy (not cute LOL). As I clearly said to Kyle, I wouldn't tolerate Brandi's disrespect but I chose to be a lady and be a good host. I am new to this group and was still figuring out the women's true characters. Even though they were extremely rude and disrespectful, I still wanted to make things work with them.

My friends say I give too many people the benefit of the doubt and that sometimes I'm too nice. Guess what? I have a very happy life. I'm not miserable, and I don't like to spread misery around the world. I don't like to bring people down, I like to lift them up. That's just me! Some people might not like it but at the end of the day when I go to sleep I have to know that I am remaining true to myself.

The one thing I am very happy about is that through this entire journey I did remain true to myself. I know a lot of people have asked me why I didn't smack Brandi or kick her out of the dinner table and why was I so nice to her the day after?

That night at the dinner table, after I said I don't like being called "hoice" because it brought back bad memories she said she didn't want to be a bully and she apologized for it. I always accept peoples apologizes, even if they've hurt me, because I think as humans we all make mistakes.

That being said, after watching tonight's episode, I'm mad at myself for being so lenient towards her and for giving her the benefit of the doubt so many times. In tonight's episode, I do agree with my friends! In hindsight, I should have politely asked her to pack her bags and leave the remainder of the trip.

Watching this week's episode made me very upset because now I see Brandi's true colors. I didn't know Brandi was faking being nice, as she said in her confessional. I was just thinking the poor girl probably has a drinking problem and how can you be rational with someone who is wasted out of their mind?

I now see that it wasn't the alcohol making her a bully. It was just her true character. Watching her tell Yolanda that she didn't want to ruin "Hoycita's" trip showed me what a conniving and hypocrite person she is.

Brandi saying she can be fake like me is ridiculous! I was nothing but nice to her!!! Brandi. . .You and I have nothing in common! You are a miserable person that wants to make everyone around you miserable. Stop saying I do things to get attention. Stop reflecting yourself in me! You DO EVERYTHING for attention as you've clearly said. . .You want to get a reaction out of people and provoke them. You are a master at trying to spin things the way you want. I should have known better and known not to trust you when you were faking to be "nice."

It's really crazy to me because there are moments in this group where we really have fun (or so I thought).

I still believe we all had a good time in the tram (even though I was petrified of the height). My husband always makes me go in the ski lift with him and I hate it because I always feel like I'm falling. I just don't like heights.

Palm Springs is beautiful and that was nature at its best. Simply stunning. I felt like it was finally the harmony and the trip I had wanted. I loved how Carlton and Kim played with the squirrels. I think its great when people can be so in tune with nature. . .It's beautiful. I know everyone says squirrels have rabies, but they are so darn cute.

At lunch, Yolanda invited us to dinner and I thought it was a great idea since the group was finally getting along. (I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS IN FOR AT HER DINNER, YET AGAIN. You can see that in next week's episode, as you've seen in the teaser.)

After lunch, while we waited for the tram, Kim decided to pray in the corner next to a bin, which I think is OK. It's OK for Kim to pray wherever and whenever she wants. Kim has been through a lot in the last year and I'm proud of her for staying strong.

Brandi wanted to cook dinner, not because the other ladies and I can't cook, but because she wanted to. She said she had a great taco recipe, which truly was delicious. We all cooked together and as we were eating the drama-free tacos, Brandi got a call form her assistant saying her house had been broken into and her doggie, Chica, was missing.

Honestly it broke my heart to see her so devastated. Our animals are part of our families and losing one is something I don't wish upon my worst enemy. Carlton was saying she lost a cat and it was horrible. I wanted to tell Brandi that I lost a doggie and found her to give her hope and sympathize with her but as you saw. . .she didn't let me finish. She just interrupted and said: "Joyce, its not a competition." Seriously?!? How is that a competition? I don't know why Brandi feels the need to compete with me or anyone. As you saw me say, I just told her "I'm not doing this right now. Right now I just want to give you a hug because I feel for you." She's so negative that she can't see when people genuinely have good intentions or are genuinely feeling for her.

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I do believe when someone is down you don't kick them. Her heart was broken with the loss of her doggie, and I didn't want to fuel any further pain. I wanted to help her find Chica. . .After she left I texted her to see how I could help. I wanted to have my friends go put signs up with a reward so the signs would be up by the time she drove back from Palm Springs. According to Brandi, it was already in process. As you all know by now, Brandi never found beautiful Chica. I just pray that she is OK and maybe another family took her.

Next week should be interesting as you see Yolanda's dinner. . .

I send you all a big kiss and don't forget: Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing and don't let people bring you down.

XO
Joyce