Hello Bravo lovers! Thank you so very much for all your great support for my Gigi. It has been heart warming to see you all rally and vote for her nomination to become the 2014 Sports Illustrated "Rookie of the Year." Like I always say, it takes a village to raise a successful child so thank you to those of you wanting to be part of the village. . .I truly appreciate it.
So on to business. . . I sadly watched tonight’s show and there is nothing I can say that can make the picture that was painted OK.
Hearing the news about the death of Joyce's father was heart breaking for me. Having lost my own father, I know it's one of the most devastating losses to endure in life. We were all a little hesitant to go on the trip to PR, but Joyce was adamant to stick to the plan and felt her father would have wanted it that way. I personally would have pulled out and not traveled with a group of people I just met, but, to be fair, I do know that everyone deals with grief differently. So I respect her choice and tried to be a source of comfort the best I could.
Unfortunately we did not get to meet Joyce's mom but she just stole my heart -- for sure the only enjoyable part of tonight's episode. I cried my eyes out listening to the calm and kindness in her voice while speaking to her daughter about life. I am sure just that moment made the trip worthwhile for Joyce and Michael.
When I watch this episode, it seems like there was some master plan against Lisa going on, which is absolutely not what happened.
I initiated a conversation with Lisa on the beach with the intent to discuss my personal issues regarding her not showing up for very important things in my life. I was very hurt and disappointed by that, so I needed to share that with her so that we could put things behind us. Unfortunately our conversation did not get that far. When Brandi and Kyle joined into the conversation it then made Lisa feel like we were attacking her -- even though they were three unrelated issues.
Looking back at the episode, it's fair to say that I understand how it made her feel. But at the same I wished she had tried to stay and hear us out because the story could have ended right then and there.
Ken defending Lisa is natural -- I just felt it to be unfair for Ken to speak for Lisa. Ken always told Paul, Mauricio, and others not to get involved in the girls' issues and now he is doing it himself. We, the girls, choose to be in this group and only we should take responsibility for our actions and the friendships between us.
I felt really bad for Mauricio because the whole conversation with Lisa was never intended to be about him or the tabloid -- but somehow it went there and he got hurt in the crossfire. The tabloid incident is 10 months old - it was cleared up. He was innocent and this should have never been talked about anymore.
It's hard to see everyone's point-of-view but we must share for the sake of moving on. Kyle has a five-year relationship with Lisa with many unresolved issues. The magazine was only a small part of that. Brandi and Lisa were best friends way before I joined the group, which I don’t know anything about, but I did witness the overnight change in their friendship. I know Lisa saw the tabloid at Brandi's house but I did not see her put the tabloid in the suitcase. . .
This whole conversation has gone off topic for me personally. I can only speak for myself when I say that my issues with Lisa over the past year have nothing to do with anyone in this group. I thought Lisa was my friend, and I believe my friendships with women to be about sharing! Some of you speak about jealousy, but trust me it is not part of this equation at all. There is nothing that Lisa is or has that I want. I cheer for her successes and always compliment her greatness -- but that does not mean that I don't have an opinion.
I just needed her to acknowledge the lack of participation in our friendship and not brush me off. Unfortunately, you do not get to see the conversation Lisa and I had when we got off the bus in Puerto Rico before sitting down at the restaurant for dinner. She heard me out and promised she would make a better effort to participate in our friendship, which was all I personally needed to hear from her.
Kyle's question at the dinner table to Lisa and Brandi was fair and she deserved an honest answer.
If Ken had given me the opportunity to speak at the table before lumping me in with the three other women and before he called me "stupid," I would have said that I saw the magazine in question at Brandi's house -- but I never saw Lisa put it in the suitcase. Ken did not want Kim to speak for Brandi, but he spoke for Lisa even though the truth is that neither one was there.
Obviously Kim's response to Ken was rude, but again she was reacting to a lot of unresolved issues that have never been acknowledged. Saying that she was drinking or on something is alluding to the fact that she was not sober, which is far from the truth.
Again, I wish we could have all stayed in the conversation and worked through the issues because nobody planned an attack or was out to hurt anyone it was just time for everyone to be heard. After all, Puerto Rico was amazing. The sense of culture I felt on the street of San Juan was extraordinary and the people in it were just as amazing. Joyce was a great host and the enthusiasm for her country was inspiring.
We ended up having a fun time with lots of laughs without drama. At the end of the day, we all want to get along and create new memories together just like everyone else.
Please share your thoughts and opinions, but do remember that you are not judging a contest but rather real human beings with real feelings. These 45-minutes do not define who we are as people but rather show a snippet of our imperfection under the microscope that we own just like every one else.
I would like to send my love and condolences to the family of the beautiful 47-year-old Charlotte Dawson, an Australian TV personality who allegedly committed suicide due to cyber bullying. RIP beautiful angel. . .Your work as an anti-bullying activist will never be forgotten!
Until next week. . .