Brandi: Kim and I Were Playing Defense

Hello Bravoistas,

It’s a sunny day in Southern Cali, and I’m having fun hanging with my BFF Darrin. It’s our birthday shopping day, which is always fun.

Argh, the reunion. What is there to say? It was as fun for me to endure then as it was for me to relive a second time for you all. Ha, clearly I'm kidding!

Watching it unfold as opposed to experiencing it only makes me wish I had a second chance to ignore those who didn’t deserve an answer. I'm combative by nature but tired of the game.

I see offensive lineman, Lisa V. waiting to hurl her thought-out scripted attacks, regardless of whether they fit at all into our conversation, Lisa R. exhaustively trying to change every topic (wether it was about her or not) to her own addiction about anything to do with addiction, Eileen trying to fake a pass by laying her earned reputation on me, and cowardly Kyle waiting to piggyback any tackle.
Kim and I were obviously playing defense. Only I was really over it at this point.

(Warning: snark ahead)

Lisa V.: Newsflash, IF you ever admitted to ANY of the righteous back stabbing you’ve done to your so-called "friends" and apologized for it, we could also all refuse to accept your apologies as well, but as you say, you are perfect. Though I think if you asked Stassi or Cedric (if anyone can find him), they might have a different opinion. But, since you never admit to anything wrong EVER, it seems unlikely you would start now. I don't know; maybe you could go throw my ex-husband's mistress another engagement party or wedding or maybe pay for their honeymoon. The way I see it, you talked me into giving you an intro for Vanderpump Rules, I delivered our audience and our ratings for you, so maybe be happy. That's what you wanted since you were a cameo on Silk Stalkings, to be famous on TV. Go celebrate your newfound fame with pink roses and some rosé wine. Stop nagging at me about it.

Lisa R... is crazy.
ONE night last year, two chauffeur-driven adult women over 40 went to an adult poker game and both, although in separate cars, got a little out of sorts. Well, someone better call Anderson Cooper, because that game was OBVIOUSLY worthy of a year-long discussion, a congressional hearing, a military tribunal, and may even turn out to be bigger than the Lewinsky scandal [To be left out during any hearing: intent to choke, projectile glass shards, assault, battery, and criminal threats.], and this is BH not DC.

Eileen, you were married. He was married; they had children. You were caught by a photographer. It was in the tabloids. Your husband sued you for divorce. His wife sued him for divorce. The Star re-published the story in August 2014 as "Eileen Davidson: RHOBH's New Homewrecker!" All this happened and was published long before I ever met you. Now you brought it up at the reunion and made it a topic again. How is this in any way related to me? Own it, move on.

Kyle, Kim never mentioned you not being welcome at Brooke's wedding; she also didn’t mention what you did at Brooke’s first wedding that was unspeakable… Kim protected you and didn’t speak of it, so I won't go into details now, but we all know it was unforgiveable. You look unhinged. Throwing your crazy around where it doesnt fit in, plus your weird, fake out-of-place "wah hhhh" crying. Enough said.

One more week of crazy, RHOBH style…I think I need a glass of wine.

Speaking of which, after watching that, I think I will have one…of MY new Sonoma County Chardonnay "Unfiltered Blonde." And it is filtered, it's just a reference to who I am! Haha!
You'll have a chance to pre-order really soon after the label unveiling and website launch.

Until then, I wish you all light, happiness, and love!

Off to cook dinner for my boyfriend and long-time friends, the kind you have for decades, the best kind, the REAL kind.

Luv to all,
XOXO,

B

P.S. The Los Angeles branch of Make-A-Wish is having its annual Walk-For-Wishes April 18th, and I'm walking, hopefully with my boys. Please come out and join us as we all walk to help support a great organization.
I'd like to offer a huge THANK YOU to all sponsors who have donated so far. We reached $10,000 today and have 11 days to reach our goal of $15,000. I have two children, and since each wish costs approximately $8,000, we were hoping to cover the cost of two other children's wishes.
Please consider contributing: http://shar.es/1ggIuw