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Hello again. Another week flies by. Just returned from Sacramento, receiving Woman of The Year award and honored to have received it at State assembly. Thank you, America. I truly love you.
So the slap...the long awaited slap that could be heard echoing through the Hills of Beverly. Now you know I have never insinuated that it was that hard. I had a small scratch on my upper lip from her acrylic claws, but the strength of the slap was not the issue. I think in her own distorted mind she thought this was playing, but no, it didn't feel like that. First she pushed me...OK...But it wasn't the actual slap. It was the violation...I haven't had a hand laid on me since I was a child. Also, I might add that it seems ironic that this is the same person that constantly reiterates to Kyle, "Don't touch me." Might seem a tad hypocritical.
I was shocked, reeling. I immediately retreated to the bathroom--unfortunately it was the men's. Didn't realize it at the time, locked the door, and desperately tried to regroup and pull myself together as the tears flowed. I chastised myself and knew cameras and friends were outside.
I felt ridiculous. I don't want my reaction to supersede the action--it wasn't that hard. So why did it provoke such an emotional response?
There were a sequence of events that day that culminated in my complete withdrawal of any interaction with BG again.
When we were shopping earlier, as you saw, which was remarkable considering the debacle the night before, BG informed me that Kyle had told her I had an affair with my trainer. I scoffed at the ridiculousness of this remark and claimed it to be untrue...Kyle wouldn't say that, and also, just a small point, I don't have a trainer.
The realization washed over me slowly. This was a a reenactment of her actions that resulted in the fiasco last year. She sees Kyle and I too close for her liking and decides to create some sort of scenario that will drive a wedge between us, whatever the cost.
I processed this, and we went to dinner. Once again BG, apparently joking, states I had slept around.
There are few things that are sacred to me, but the sanctity of our marriage is one of them. We have been committed to each other for 33 years, and I was disappointed that BG could vindictively insinuate anything else, especially in such a public forum.
Careless remarks are one thing, but lies can gather momentum as she knowingly stated Eileen was a homewrecker, which was also grossly unfair. I have no idea of her history, but I have witnessed her to be nothing but kind and a lovely woman to be sure.
So we witness her trying to kiss me...Ken and I had been down this path before. She lunges at you, trying to have some sort of physical interaction, land a kiss, which luckily she has always been unsuccessful at I might add, but you know she would include that in her arsenal. She would state that we "made out" or something of that nature. I was always wary of that, even when we had a deeper friendship.
I feel strongly, as I said at the table, (I know it is cliché) that if you don't like yourself,what lurks beneath?
BG couldn't sit at that table as we had words of kindness to say about each other. She added superficial comments, which defeats the object. She knew that her actions to most of us have been despicable, she knows...Be able to look yourself in the eye and know you have done right. That will give you all the confidence you need...
I have seen the self mutilation, which she struggles with, and that she often complains about, the self destruction as she digs into her face and the destruction of relationships close to her.
So Kyle takes me for pancakes--a deliberate attempt to fatten me up. I enlighten her of the slap, and we unequivocally agree that the line has been well and truly crossed. It was not just the physicality, it was the failed attempt that was so successful last year to infiltrate a friendship. I had given BG a second chance after she tried everything to denigrate my character last season, but something this time in me just snapped. That single defining moment was when I knew and I asked myself the pertinent question, "What was the upside of this friendship?" I knew the answer, and so will you.
So my dears, I leave you until next week...As always, love, Lisa.