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Kathryn Edwards: Who Are Any of Us to Judge Their Friendship?
Kathryn thinks it's time for some of the other 'Wives to let go of their grievances.
Oh boy...this episode was full of excitement and new adventures, exactly what we went to Dubai for...well almost. I would rather have had more Arabian nights and less quarreling nights but that wasn't to be the case.
Anyway, here we go...
It started off so nice. Lisa R. and I decided to pamper ourselves at the spa. There was no drama, we talked a little, laughed a little and enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere. I would have loved any of the other activities that the ladies chose, but the spa seemed perfect, and I was so happy to relax.
Watching the exchange between Eileen and Lisa R. at the hotel before we left made me question a few things. Eileen tells Lisa R. that Erika didn't like the word "enraged" and Eileen, rightfully in my opinion, says that she thinks the word was a bit big for the actual feeling with regard to Yolanda having lunch with Kim and Brandi. Eileen decides that the word "upset" is more suited to what Lisa R. was actually feeling. Clearly Lisa R. is colorful, she talks with highly descriptive words that sound bigger than the actual situation or moment requires, but that's who she is. We all know that.
My questions is this: How does Eileen decide when Lisa R. is over-exaggerating and dramatic or when it's real and honest? One minute it's "big talk" coming from Lisa R. that's pretty harmless, and the next minute it's honesty and truth. Hell, I can't tell. Lisa R. says Lisa V. is "directional" one minute and the next minute she calls her a "manipulator." Clearly Eileen prefers the word manipulator because then she doesn't look like the only "A-hole."
Hmm, seems to me that there's more than one manipulator in the group if those are the terms for handing out that label. Maybe Lisa R. just needs to say "no" to the people who want to direct her and have her do the dirty work...When does accountability take effect? Stay tuned to this subject, because it's far from over. Ugh!
Finally, on to some fun.
What a dichotomy to drive through the city of Dubai with all of the beautiful architecture and high rises to the sand dunes and vast open sky...absolutely gorgeous!
So, here we are...the falcon show with the sun setting was picture perfect. I'm was so happy to have captured those photos of us to remember this trip.
Our Arabian nights dinner was special, too. There was so much to take in...the henna lady, the camel milk, the camel meat...I will try almost any type of food once. Having grown up in Wisconsin, I have eaten venison, wild turkey, elk, etc...
I WON"T ever eat domesticated animals, but I eat beef, poultry, lamb, fish (trying to stop pork,) and now I can say I've tried camel. I won't have it again, but I felt like we should be receptive to the culture, and that's why I took a bite. Life is for living and experiencing (almost) everything once.
I was excited for the Souk market. I've been to one of the best ones in Istanbul, so I was hoping that Dubai would have a nice one, too. Umm, yikes! Holy cockroach hell! There's two things that send me to the moon: that's a cockroach or a moth. I can't help it...I'm not afraid of spiders or snakes, but a roach will make me run like a chicken! It's a shame, because that salmon colored kaftan was nice. Too bad we didn't get to Abu Dhabi...I heard the souk market there is great!
All and all we had a nice time, and we had some great laughs.
Okay, so now it gets confusing for me. Lunch at Nobu...Kyle says she knows that Lisa V. tried to implicate her with the Munchausen thing. We all saw Lisa R. bring the "Munchausen" word to Lisa V. and Kyle.
Lisa Rinna clearly introduced that word to the group. Why would Lisa V. want to take Kyle down if neither Kyle or Lisa V. have any guilt in where the word came from? I asked Kyle how that made her feel, because I didn't really believe that was the case...Could it have been a miscommunication? Then Kyle co-signed on it. OK...now I'm really confused. Do friends do this? The bottom line for me is this: If Kyle is okay with it, then that's up to her. I don't want to determine friendships for others. If Kyle knows what it is and doesn't have a problem, then it doesn't concern me. I'll watch the behavior and take it in to account, but it's not my bone to pick, so I choose to stay out of it.
The beach dinner:
It was fun watching Erika get ready every night. The glam squad is amazing! I'd walk over to her room and watch Mikey, Scott and Frank create a new look. It's fun! It's luxury! And I don't blame Erika for bringing them with.
Hell, that's a major treat to not have to worry about wardrobe, hair or makeup. That's what being wrapped in cash is!
But honestly, I have to say the best part was that Erika and I connected. We had fun. It was great having her as a roommate.
So we made it to the beach...we all needed a drink because we knew what was coming. Gulp.
It felt like an accosting to me once we were all seated and the conversation began. Lisa R. and Eileen came to dinner with nothing other than wanting to make Lisa V. fly the white flag. That's how it felt sitting there. Munchausen Schmunchausen, manipulation/deflection, lies/apologies. It bothered me that Eileen and Lisa R. wanted to make such a big deal about something that Kyle had no issue with.
Kyle said it, she said she didn't care if Lisa V. made the comment to Rinna...Why isn't that enough for them?
Kyle and Lisa V. said that they love each other and are good with their friendship...good enough for me.
I may not understand the nature with regard to that topic, but there are a lot of relationships that have quirks, who are any of us to judge their friendship?
People could ask the same question about other friendships in the group...oh, wait a minute, they did.
Clearly Lisa R. isn't budging, she swears she's telling the truth, Lisa V. swears she's telling the truth, too, so let's call it a truce and move on, right? HA! Never!
Eileen is upset about the "affair" word...I get it. It bothers her. She's entitled to feel that way, those are her feelings...that's fair. I would never take that away from her, and she wants to be heard. So, she wanted an apology. She got one in the Hamptons, she got one at Lisa V.'s house and maybe somewhere else I don't remember.
Eileen doesn't feel the apologies are sincere. Problem is, it's starting to feel like Eileen is brow beating Lisa V. for the elusive half-assed apology that she's never going to get...and now it's morphed into the fact that Lisa V. can't or won't apologize properly or even understands that she offended Eileen.
Here's my take on it:
Lisa V. doesn't see it the same way as Eileen does. Lisa V. isn't apologizing for the "affair" word because she wasn't trying to hurt Eileen. I do think it's cultural...Certain words carry a bigger weight in different countries and cultures. I think Lisa V. used the "A" word without considering that it would be viewed as offensive to Eileen.
If Lisa V. was taking a pot shot at Eileen, then shame on Lisa V., but at this point I feel like Eileen has to let it go because they aren't getting anywhere and it only feels destructive at this point. When do you stop asking for an apology that you're not going to get? And when do you get over trying to make Lisa V. feel sorry for something that she isn't sorry for?
All of the talk about the subject has brought more attention to exactly what Eileen didn't want discussed. Seems counter-productive in so many ways. This friendship is going to hell in a hand basket, and it doesn't have to.
I think Erika and I were lost. We both looked at each several times with wonderment as to what was going on. The subjects were all over the place, and no one was owning anything. Don't fret, viewers. All of this wonderful Arabian drama isn't over yet. It was a beautiful night that ended in tears. What a shame.
I've never gone to sleep the night before my birthday dreading what the day would bring but still trying to be optimistic. There's a first for everything...I wished Donnie was with me.
As always, ending on a positive note:
We are fortunate to have many types of people in our lives. I've always believed that people fit into one of three categories: a reason, a season or a lifetime. All of them are gifts...a lesson, a great memory or a history of life-long love. All of them provide goodness, it's our choice to recognize it.
Until next week.