Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a beautiful time with their loved ones.
This week I feel things on the show got a little confusing unnecessarily, and I hope they will get straightened out soon.
Hearing what Erika said about me was tough, but I guess I can understand it. She's entitled to her opinion, but it's still not nice to hear. Look I like to have fun and be playful and I’m an upfront and open person—I don’t hide things, Lisa V. will attest to that—and now it seems like me and Erika have gotten off on the wrong foot, but I really want things to settle down. I'm confident we can get past this, and I will definitely be trying to.
I love to throw a dinner party and bring people together to relax and enjoy themselves. Since Lisa R. told me that she was alone and her kids were away, I thought she should come and join PK and I at our dinner party. I was looking forward to getting to know her more. I guess it's obvious that PK and I are opinionated, but we don’t mean to come across in a domineering manner—it's just our way! We do respect other people’s opinions and love a good debate at the dinner table, and it’s OK if people disagree with us. For us, that’s a good dinner party: lots of lively conversations and viewpoints. I was under the impression that Lisa R. left our dinner party happy and had a lovely time. At least that's what she told me. One thing is for sure: Neither PK nor myself had any intention of "dissecting" the deaths of both Lisa R. and Eileen's family members. We were talking about the mere fact that if people had known Eileen was going through a bereavement, I'm sure there would have been support and understanding. We never had any intention for Lisa R. and Eileen to take offense from anything said. We respect them and feel for them both with those they’ve lost. In fact, the topic of Eileen's mother passing was such a small conversation during a very long dinner party with a lot of conversation that I hadn't even remembered it a week later when I saw Eileen and she mentioned it.
The beach walk was a lovely idea and fun with Eileen. It was so windy, but the conversation unfortunately got a little awkward. It seemed like she wanted me to apologize for what I honestly was having issues recalling. We discussed so many things at our dinner party. At dinner parties the wine flows, people relax and unwind, conversations happen, and I try to have fun and not feel like I have to always have my guard up. I didn’t realize every comment and opinion was going to be analyzed or shared, and nothing mean or hurtful was being said... As I've said, I don’t hold back, but maybe I’ll have to be on my guard more in the future. Most importantly, though, I don’t want any drama with either of these ladies. I think a simple dinner conversation got a bit misconstrued, and I would never diminish or dismiss the magnitude or importance of losing a loved one.
I was happy to meet Camille and for Eileen to invite me to the lunch. Camille is so welcoming, and I love her new beautiful home. It was also great to hear about the wonderful things going on with Erika’s music career. I had no idea that her music was so big. I had heard she was a performer, but I genuinely didn’t know that she was such a successful artist producing nine number one hits—that’s really something! Even though I haven’t been 40 very long, as Erika pointed out, I believe these years are for being very poised, confident, and comfortable in your own skin, and I think it's fantastic that Erika is living her dream and doing it so well.
Well it’s been an interesting few weeks. There’s definitely a lot happening and a lot to learn about everyone and their lives and personalities. But each week I feel like I’m learning and growing more. Even with the ups and downs, it’s honestly wonderful getting to know this dynamic and successful group of women. It’s been a rollercoaster so far, but I’m not getting off anytime soon.
See you next week,