Have you ever been in a situation where you thought your intentions were good and true, and then at every opportunity to explain yourself you try, and try, and try, but it’s just taken as something completely different? Then you know how I felt at Game Night.
I thought I was making myself clear with Dorit. I wanted her in the loop so she didn’t feel—like Erika did about the panty situation—that we all were talking about her. Dorit herself said at Camille’s house that she felt like we were encouraging her with the underwear present and then we wound Erika up about it behind Dorit’s back. That is not what happened. I did not want her to think that.
You all know me by now: I want to get everything out in the open so it doesn’t become a bigger issue. I hoped Dorit would see that I had her—and everyone’s—best interest at heart.
When I was reaching out to check in with Erika during this conversation, Dorit viewed that as me making her the bad guy. Being conscientious of Erika’s feelings is not mutually exclusive to me also caring about Dorit’s. But we are still getting to know each other, so I guess I get it if she felt defensive. I did attempt to clarify, but, as usual where my conversations with Dorit are concerned, she talks a lot. When do I get a chance to say something? She still does not hear me. It’s exhausting!
I’m happy for all the great new beginnings in Kim’s life. But while I want the best for Kim, at Game Night it was clear she was looking for an opening to vent some unresolved feeling with Lisa R. and me.
The conversation with Dorit had nothing to do with Kim. But she took pieces from it—like Lisa R.’s father dying—and twisted them. Like accusing Lisa R. of using her dad’s passing as an excuse for her behavior? That could be valid, I guess? But it was not true! Kim crossed a line saying that. Also, Lisa R. is not a liar or a faker, and I never saw the “eye roll,” if in fact there was one. I’m thinking Kim’s looking for things that are not there. Lisa R. admitted she struck a low blow (very low BTW), and she apologized. But this should never have been discussed, to begin with. We already have enough to deal with at this table. Now we have to go back to Amsterdam? Help!
Despite everything, I think we all, including Lisa R., have our hearts in the right place with Kim, and always have. Even though there was an apology, I don’t know how many issues were actually resolved at Game Night.
Unfortunately, that saying “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” keeps bouncing around in my head. I wonder why?