D'Andra: Let’s Own Up to Our Words and Mistakes Now Ladies — ALL of Us!
"Why is it that LeeAnne ALWAYS has to be held accountable for her actions, but Brandi and Cary are never held accountable for the things they say and do?"
It is so hard to believe that this season of The Real Housewives of Dallas and this experience have come to an end. After tonight, I am no longer a NEWBIE, though I never felt like one anyway in this group of women. While it has been an incredibly bumpy ride, filled with dildo-chasing, glass-throwing, RUMORS of knife-wielding, gavel-banging, and of course fictional storytelling, I am so thankful to have taken this plunge. I’ll be sad to say adieu. I must thank Bravo and Goodbye Pictures for the opportunity, plus the many supporting people behind the scenes that worked on this show and truly care about our lives and this franchise. Enough of my sappy side — you came to know my closing thoughts on part 2 of the reunion, and believe me, I’m going to give them to you!
I was very proud of LeeAnne for coming back to finish out the reunion, even with Mark being the only husband allowed on set to defend himself and his wife. LeeAnne and I are similar; we’re used to facing the music alone. We know it’s better to just get the discussion over with instead of letting it drag out, even if it means jumping into a pool of piranhas that are craving us for dinner! LeeAnne was the bigger person for coming back, especially when she knew she was going to be the target.
On a positive note, I found it comforting (that’s a stretch) that while Mark was at reunion, other issues were discussed besides JUST the drama between him and LeeAnne. When Cary and Mark said that their relationship is one built on sarcasm, I wasn’t sure how “I feel” or “I felt” about that. It’s not my experience in my marriage, and it didn’t make me feel any better about what I have seen of their marriage this year. Then again, I only saw a sliver of some of the things that happened in their home, just like everyone only saw a sliver of my relationship with Keatin. It isn’t my marriage, and everyone relates differently; it’s not my place to judge what makes other couples happy. I just think Mark puts a spell on Cary with his culinary skills, and she is blinded to what else is happening around her. If Jeremy could cook like Mark, that would be my excuse!
I’m generally not a sarcastic person, and sarcasm in any relationship runs the risk of crossing a line and hurting the other person’s feelings as some point. It also makes everyone else uncomfortable, as we don’t know whether Mark and Cary are joking or fighting…take the dinner scene with Kameron and Court as an example. It was painful to watch. I don’t like to be caught in the crossfire of couples in the midst of a clash.
When it comes to the subject of who can be friends with who, this issue is WAY ABOVE my pay grade! I don’t know if I have enough diplomatic experience to referee—I mean mediate this summit. The negotiation amongst this group of women will make the G-8 look stress-free!
Let’s attempt to break this down now, shall we? I need a stiff drink for this one! Somehow, the blame for Brandi accusing Cary and Mark of adultery has landed on LeeAnne—SURPRISE, SURPRISE— for "influencing" Brandi. Yes, noodle on that one for a bit. Confusing as _____ (insert word Momma Dee does not approve of). Stephanie and Cary both swear they are not insinuating that LeeAnne is the impetus behind Brandi throwing that low blow, but they also say that if Brandi hadn’t been close to LeeAnne, she wouldn’t have said it. That pretty much sounds like placing blame, now doesn’t it? This is obviously the case when Stephanie says, "You are who you hang out with." Kameron and I both hang out with LeeAnne ALL THE TIME, and not once have we accused our friends of adultery or accused a friend of claiming their doctor killed a patient on the operating table. These things I just mentioned are all things that Brandi brought up on her own. Why is it that LeeAnne ALWAYS has to be held accountable for her actions, but Brandi and Cary are never held accountable for the things they say and do? That sounds like hypocrisy to me. Let’s own up to our words and mistakes now ladies — ALL of us!
When we finally got to the Round-Up conversation, I was expecting things to get REAL CRAZY, REAL FAST, but it went better than I expected. Luckily, most people’s tongues had been lassoed, so there wasn’t much shouting. Overall, people kept their cool, and I have to say that I am proud of all parties. Nothing was really resolved, though — astonishing, I know! I’m proud of LeeAnne for continuing to apologize for perpetuating this rumor about Mark, but I don’t feel it was enough for the Deubers. It is hard to move on from hurt feelings, but time and space can change one’s perspective. Hopefully, with time, we will be able to move forward.
As for moving forward, I believe we are pretty much stuck in a motionless and inevitable friendship vortex. We have been sucked into the black hole of UNFRIENDSHIP! If you were to ask me today, I would say that LeeAnne’s friendships with Cary and Brandi are over for good. I do not see a rekindling of love between these three ladies. My only hope and sincere request is that they are cordial and respect one another in public. The less reenactment of past events, the better.
When Brandi called me Jesus, I was thrilled beyond measure! This was my best reunion moment besides the ending. I couldn’t wait to tell my pastor and my mom! It was the BEST compliment I have EVER received. As we all know, I am continuously accused by Brandi, Stephanie, and Cary of making excuses for LeeAnne. Since you are reading this blog, I will assume you have actually WATCHED this season and know this to NOT be the case. In fact, I always call her out for her mistakes and missteps, because as her best friend, I need to be there to help direct her down a path of improvement, as I hope and pray that she would ALWAYS do for me.
If I were as close to the other ladies as I am to LeeAnne, and they were also making big mistakes that were affecting them reaching the important goals in their lives, I would absolutely and unequivocally do the same for them. Trust me: I am not shy about saying what I think and being truthful, even when it is difficult to do so. I much more want to do the right thing than be right in a situation.
LeeAnne made some big mistakes this season, but I truly believe that she has improved and will continue to make big strides toward becoming a healthier, happier, and less angry person. In fact, she and Stephanie are the only ones trying to actively and seriously seek help with their issues through counseling. I applaud both ladies for this.
I was humbled and honored that Andy believed in me enough to ask me to give a closing statement for the season. Even though I was caught off guard, I was delighted to be able to impart one last thought about all that has happened in our circle of friends. To be considered wise is the greatest compliment of all. In fact, in my early morning devotionals, I pray and always ask God, above all, and first and foremost to make me wise like King Solomon. He is considered the wisest man (other than Jesus) in the Bible.
I don’t know if I am the person whose opinion everyone will trust like Andy said, but I do believe these women know that I am fair and honest, which makes them not like me sometimes and love me at other times. I stand by what I said without a fault. We have all been through so much together this year as friends and frenemies!
I felt and still feel that even after all the animosity and hurt feelings we have experienced, I needed to end our season with a message of hope and encouragement. The road to recovering our friendships may seem the one less traveled right now, but I know that as one of the older women in our group, I have more life experiences to draw upon. One of the best ones that has proven itself to me over and over is the gift of time and space to reflect. Only then can we see things in a different light, try to move forward, learn from our past mistakes and experiences.
I’m not certain that these women are open to my guidance and advice, but I gave it freely, and they can do with it what they want. Those that know me always comment on the fact that I have a good heart; I truly want to help others and be the best person I can be. I am a softie under my tough exterior. I don’t know if our group of friends will weather the season’s storms and be able to come back together because a lot has happened this season! It will take God Himself and a few angels to mend these relationships. But I’m hopeful, and I think I feel some wings growing on my back. Wink, wink! If called upon to play peacemaker, I’ll do my absolute best.
Until that time, Happy Holidays to all of the #RHOD fans and family!
Cheers to the first miracle, wine, NOT Jesus Juice! AMEN
Love, D’Andra
