Welcome back, and get ready y’all. The rodeo clowns are taking a trip! Whew, after watching all that, this gal is glad she stayed back in the Big D.
Alright, so I have to start on a disappointed note, unfortunately. It has been disheartening this week, watching Brandi Redmond completely deny that we ever had a friendship. (It’s also weird, because our friendship was on television, where God and everybody could see). Honestly, it’s been one of the worst and most painful parts of being on the show thus far. How could I have been such a fool? To ever genuinely care about how she was treated by her ex/best/codependent friend? How could I have let myself be vulnerable like that?
In the scene that recaps last week’s episode, it’s so beyond obvious just how much Stephanie Hollman hates me. Don’t get me wrong; it’s never fun to be hated. But at this point, I just want her to simmer down some; she’s a bit too, what is it people are saying nowadays, “extra?” Watching her blurt out, “Is LeeAnne Locken coming?” like a 3-year-old and jumping up and down when Brandi said no - Steph, please do less. And for all the folks on Twitter, who believe I am jealous of her, please take note: I could never be jealous of someone like Steph, especially not her inability to "find her voice," which by the way, sounds exactly like Minnie Mouse. Sorry, Minnie!
Moving on to someone who is “extra” - amazing. When D'Andra Simmons learned that Keatin wanted to leave, well, that was heartbreaking to me. I know how much it meant to her to be able to give him amazing opportunities, which he could use to flourish in Dallas, but sadly, the old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink,” is what we are seeing. D’Andra has such a kind and giving heart; I’ve watched her over the years reach out and try to make others’ lives better. This is what she wants for Keatin: a better life filled with opportunities to create success. He’s not quite there yet, but like D’Andra, I’ll hold out hope.
Tennessee Time. What did I think of the trip? Ha! I wanted them to stay there! But alas, they returned. Mostly, as I watched the trip unfold, I just felt exactly how I feel about them: disappointed. I don’t think there is a better word to describe it. I wondered, why was I ever upset for not getting an invite in the first place? Clearly, Brandi never wanted me there, even after all the times she tried to convince me I was the only one she wanted to take. So, let’s just break it down!
There are just too many times that Steph proves her immaturity. Look back at last week, when she said she “snatched” Brandi away from me, as if Brandi is hers or anyone’s belonging, and now look at this week, as she explained her weird plan progressing from “dating” to “meeting the family.” It just seems a bit put-on and shallow. Along the same lines, when Steph says she’s “totally gonna get that rose,” I just can’t help but wonder if all her relationships are competitions? I mean, I guess that would explain why she and Cary get along so well!
The switch from that scene to the next, with Brandi explaining how her Grandmother dropped off the map because of her new relationship with her Grandfather gives me a little more insight into Brandi. How is she supposed to have authentic, true-to-the-core relationships, when there aren’t a lot around to follow? I must say, I adore Brandi’s mother; she is as real as they come. I just hope that voice will resonate in Brandi soon, leading her to be among others who are a lot more like her mother.
Now, for a moment of pure relief. When Kam comes on screen (I think this is the case for all viewers), I can breathe again. She’s like an angel who has blessed me with a moment of peace; she quite literally glows and lights me up. Her authenticity and positivity and PINK ways make me love her, and when I see her, I am reminded of why I call her a unicorn: because she is truly one of a kind.
Alright, back into the muck. Ugh.
“Why is LeeAnne not here?” Stephanie asked Brandi, happily. That’s not surprising, though, remember? She kinda hates me. So, I wasn’t taken too aback, that is, until I heard Brandi say that our friendship is a “work in progress.” Jeez. How many hits can I take? Oh wait, just a bit more: "The girls are scared of her." (Insert wicked laugh). What? Really? Just a few months ago we were judging a charity event together, all of us including D’Andra, and the girls played and laughed with me. That didn’t look like fear to me, y’all.
Not that I need to, but let me explain that flashback of me waiting for Brandi in the car before Mark’s party. After driving 20 miles for 90 minutes in rush hour traffic to pick Brandi up, just to drive back downtown (where I live) for the party, I remained in the car (can you blame me?) because I was on a conference call with a publisher. Business requires a quiet space sometimes. That’s it.
One hilarious comparison takes place on the Tennessee trip, when Cary says, "I swear to God, if she is talking about us behind our backs, I’m literally gonna lose my mind," and then switches to me in Dallas saying, “Over the lips and through the gums.” Ha! Was I supposed to be talking about them? My bad!
Just when I think my time on camera is done, (I can only have a few minutes each week or it gets crazy), there’s another therapy appointment. And it’s not what Brandi calls it on social media: fake therapy. It’s really me, working on myself. In fact, you know what I love about doing therapy on camera? It’s that I get to be raw and damaged in front of y’all. Because I’m human. Going through my personal struggles on camera hopefully helps someone else watching, who might be going through similar struggles.
THAT is why I am doing this show. Not to be a star of any kind. I’m good just being the broken, damaged but healing LeeAnne.
Until next week,
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