Ana Quincoces

Ana wishes she hadn't attended the dinner at Thomas Kramer's.

on Nov 16, 20120

A popular Cuban “dicho” (saying) is dime con quien andas y te diré quien eres. Which means tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are. One would be hard pressed to find a situation where this is more poignant.

This season, there have been moments that have made me smile, others that have made me cringe, and even some that have made me more than a little proud. I will take permission to relish in that pride because I earned it.

I have never had anything handed to me. Everything I have, I earned as a result of my own hard work and perseverance. I am not criticizing those who have been handed silver platters galore, I am just pointing out that I’m not one of them. Hard work builds character, plain and simple. One of the reasons I enjoy Lisa so much is because she makes no qualms about her lifestyle and acknowledges that she lives a privileged life because she was lucky enough to fall in love with a gifted plastic surgeon. She told me the story of her grandmother’s premonition about her living a charmed life and how it turned out to be true. I am happy for Lisa and have always appreciated her honesty. But she knows who she is – she knows what her strengths are and uses them accordingly.

I have never judged a man by the size of his wallet. What’s more, there is rarely a correlation between one’s bank account and one’s contribution to this planet. I am afraid for those who believe there is. I am humored by those who claim to have standards and a code of behavior and then flounder all over the place seeking acceptance (and perhaps a potential defendant) by trying to provide the popular opinion. You’re not irreverent and clever by being loud and overbearing; you are just loud and overbearing.

Viewers are smarter than people give them credit for. They see through the false adulation, the contrived friendships, and the faux wisdom. People know the difference between those of us who have “done the work,” and those of us who are just pimping silly wares for the sake of vanity in an embarrassingly amateurish “Trumpesque” manner.

216 comments
Ariesblack
Ariesblack

Ana,

Kudos to you for standing up for yourself and every other woman there who was too cowardly to do so. I find it so ridiculous that some of your costars talk about what strong, tough, no nonsense women they are but they sat silent as Thomas Kramer degraded and verbally assaulted countless women. Shame on Lenny Hochstein for not standing up for his wife as Thomas sexually harassed her. Thank you for recognizing it is not OK for a man to show a woman her only conversational value is how long it took to stuff her boobs into her dress, I wanted to stuff his head up his behind. And to the other Miami ladies how dare you be so afraid of silly social ramifications that you would sit idly by and watch Thomas verbally assault Elsa and invade her personal space. Do you care more about being liked by a womanizing perverted sexist  troglodyte or living with your self respect in tact. I have to agree with mrLeBeef, that man is a pig.

mrLeBeef
mrLeBeef

That man is a total pig, and the women should be ashamed for supporting him. 

bombshell8124
bombshell8124

Very proud of you not being silent, standing up to him even if you had to get thrown out. Made me proud as a Cuban women myself. I think Lea is over looking that it was not a matter of you disrespecting your host by just not wanting to be quite. It was how he told you in which I still saw you try and be patient and sit there and be quite but then the following comments were so offensive in general. I know they keep saying that's just how he is but does that make it right? So does that mean we are supposed to ignore obscene behavior because that's how a person is. I'm very annoyed that the excuse continues to be that it's his home and you were the guest. So, that puts out the message that you can invite anyone to your home and berate them and say anything to them? Bottom line is he was so offensive to a woman and the to a elderly woman. I can't respect that or anyone trying to come up with any lame excuse that defends that.

tjjpt
tjjpt

Basically you can interpret all these series of events and interactions with these different characters any which way you perceive. However, being a smart woman, you should know that there are more than your viewpoints about the truth of any encounter. I wish you recounted the stories to your daughters in a more sophisticated manner. One of your daughters was totally swayed by your point of view. Luckily the other one seems more insightful and said something like things would pass over and let bygone be bygone. You should learn from her. Also I see why your ex husband can't wait to be away from you. It's no fun chatting with you. You made him stumble in his normal talk with you i.d. questioning why he called you honey etc. It's no fun talking to someone you have to explain even a most irrelevant word.

CtViewer01
CtViewer01

Well done Ana...class, morals, courage ...what a great example for your daughters. 

ginmartini
ginmartini

Insults? Can't help thinking you only reacted to him because he shamed you. You have a mouth and you are combative. Exemplary? Role model? I think not. You left out of shame and then got all righteous out there on the curb.

Mq
Mq

I am proud of you as a women, as a Hispanic person and as a professional who has the same believe as you, I am pretty sure that you were there invited for somebody "who: Guess ?? the perfect smile" if not why you were there but that doesn't mean that you had to be treated with so much disrespect , personally I am very disappointed of the gentleman in the room who preferred to stay quiet and allow so much disrespect to the ladies for one men this is inexcusable, i do not want to talk about the hoster because is wasting my time, I just want to tell you, that I admire your actions!!

marscarmack
marscarmack

Overall you were right..BUT lets be honest.. Lisa's "jugs" are put out for attention..If she needed defending thats up to her husband not you. Some men are pigs and will never change..but you gotta lighten up a bit. I think you were embarrassed for being called out on the gossiping. But you have standards you live by so BRAVO to you!

Maya2
Maya2

Good for you Ana, can't help but wonder if Marisol wouldn't have gone back in to sit at that table had it not been for Elsa getting kicked out? i think so,you're a loyal honest person and unfortunately most don't appreciate that ! All of t hem kissed his you know what because he has money Not you ! even Joanna after what he said went back in to say " I adore you"? unbelieveable, and he ridiculed and offended her again !

mibasho
mibasho

Ana, it’s awesome to have a lady like you on RHOM or any show for that matter. It makes me proud to see a woman stick up for what she believes in.  I appreciate you speaking out to the sonso’s or sonsa’s that don’t respect other’s, and try and gain friends or brownie points by ignoring inappropriate comments against woman.  Thank you! You’re a beautiful intelligent and wise lady. You make many of us Latina’s proud. I’m sure many of your true friends are proud to walk by your side, and value your genuine friendship. You go girl! P.S. love your relationship with your girls. You should have a Ana 101 class: I’m sure Karent will be found sitting in the back as she wouldn’t produce any intelligent answers or proper behavior.

presler.8
presler.8

Ana,

 

you are the most inspirational woman on any housewives franchise. . . and I watch them all. I will continue watching Miami because of your intelligence and class. As a female college student I can only hope to be like you. I hope you get this message because the message you sent with your incredible behvior during that episode sent many women the right message as well.

 

THANK YOU!

mary21
mary21

Thank you thank you ,  Ana.   Your exit from that  dinner was superb in every way.   Vote with your feet!   Not to  mention  clear  naming  of  hostile behavior  "Can anyone spell misogynist?"  Thomas is a sociopath,  and it is heart-breaking to witness  intelligent women  confusedly   transfixed  into  being slapped into being good little girls/ guests/  continuing the party.   You suffered the double wound of   not being backed up by the friend you were supporting,  and   the host's  toxicity  (where was the other host,  his new good buddy,   in the midst of this abuse???  Clueless.)   You defended  a friend  with a few well- timed words like a maturely  caring  person should  and   "no good deed goes unpunished".  Sad to say.   I  really learned  something  from  the  seasoned  truth of your comment that Marysol   needs to learn to defend herself,  and grow a pair,     having seen this sort of thing before.   And she didn't  even  acknowledge  your gesture.  Otherwise I love her and you especially,  and Adriana.   Genuinely  gracious   women  making the world a better with your intelligence and abilities.

mellowyellow
mellowyellow

Well thank God there are finally some women on RHO?? shows with some brains and some beauty. I can completely relate to your leaving TK's party. He was an absolute ass and a waste of time. I would be equally offended, with or without daughters--he pretty much put down the entire female population. You showed class to leave and I appreciate that you're willing to say whatever you need to people's faces, not just behind their backs. Bravo Ana!

2ndavenue
2ndavenue

Why did you even attend? All you did was gossip sotto voce as if no one would notice. Then to criticize the host. Now you're casting aspersions on the other women without specifying who. Underhanded and self righteous at the same time. Face it, you were shamed when he called you out! That's what your puffed up sense of indignation is coming from. You are hardly the leader of women-kind, the mentor, the example any there at least would strive to emulate.

glamglossgem
glamglossgem

I agree Anna. I respect your morals.

You have beauty & brains.

amanda4814
amanda4814

Good for you for standing up for yourself!  I'm glad that you're on the show!

TampaLisa
TampaLisa

You seem to be very genuine, and clearly a good mom looking out for your daughters best interests as a role model. As a mother of two sons, I know we set examples for them. I must say, you could have just left without letting the situation escalate. I speak my mind as well as the best, but, know when to stop and depart with grace, for myself, not to prove a point. I know when to exit without throwing in the last jab. Your blog was very one-sided on some level, due to your feelings being dismissed. The 'host' was rude and very chauvinistic. As an attorney, you at times, seem to let that side of you come across as intimidating, with your 'verbage' like courtroom banter. While others try to over compensate with looks, or wealth, you may not realize, but that is your 'way' of doing just the same. Just be yourself, and tone down the blogs as if you were speaking to family or friends, not in a corporate/courtroom setting, to impress or gain viewership. Perhaps, all types of people could relate to you better.

 

HonestMama
HonestMama

I personally thought everyone behaved horribly. If you didn't have positive feelings towards the man you shouldn't have gone to his home in the first place. That is the message you should have shown your daughter instead of going to someone's home and insult him. He is a misogynist pig, but you and the other ladies knowingly entered that situation. If you know ahead of time that someone is a vile human being, then it is your fault for entering the situation. 

steven_cali
steven_cali

I want to add something else to my original post. I want to say THANK YOU for not underestimating intelligent viewers. I think you said it best on WWHL with Camille Paglia, that even smart & educated people watch these shows. You never dumb your blogs down, and we notice that - again, I stand behind your decision to leave Thomas' house. No person should be treated like that. Ringing a bell like you were a farm animal and yelling at Mama Elsa like a dog. Absolutely despicable and repulsive. 

mlbluv212
mlbluv212

Lea's entire blog was dedicated to bashing you. She has received so much negativity. She goes around saying Bravo is afraid of her husband- but her husband is a has been and has not won a case in a long time. 

anoian
anoian

You are an amazing role model to young women, myself included.  Keep up the great work.

anoian
anoian

I am 21 years old and attend the University of Chicago.  I enjoyed watching you on WWHL with Camille Paglia (one of my heroes). I especially loved the aftershow.  It was very telling that Andy chose you to appear with Dr. Paglia.

pauls4616
pauls4616

I am the father of 3 girls.  What an example you are.  I don't love that they watch these shows, but haveing someone like you on it makes me feel a lot better.  Keep up the good work!

shalie2
shalie2

I do not like you that much because you get in other people's business.  But at least you are a better person than fake Karent.  She is pathetic and no one's friend on that show. 

jdickenson90210
jdickenson90210

I say Bravo for you Anna! Girl you rocked it this week! 

It was great to see you stand up for your principles and tell that pig off. 

I wish you had told off the other two classless idiots kissing his butt Lea & Karent while you were at it. I can't stand them. They are so phony.

You are smart, sexy and show the most class in the group. 

 

awex
awex

I have been a fan of yours since the beginning but this blog post and episode did me in. You are the epitome of a real housewife: you encompass the hard earned and well deserved career, a loving family, and above all have a sense of reality. The world--and reality TV--could use more women like you!

CtViewer01
CtViewer01

Good for yeou!  You did the right thing and you had the courage to do it when no one else seemed to be on you side.  Your daughters should be very proud of you.  Too bad we couldn't have sent the RHONJ to that party - those ladies would have taken Thomas down in no time!  LOL

lettuce
lettuce

Very pleased to see an intelligent woman not willing to sacrifice her dignity to be linked to someone with a thick wallet.  That man is indeed a misogynist. 

steven_cali
steven_cali

I'm going to say this: Ana, you are hands down the best housewife. Know why? Because you keep it real yet are interesting and still give your twist to the show. There should be more housewives like you on every one of these shows.

 

Thomas Kramer is SCUM. And EVERY woman at that table, including the very "classy" Lea Black should have been offended by his actions. How can a host speak to his guests that way and then for Karent to say she felt bad for him, seriously? She is an embarassment. I really wanted to give her a chance, but she is a SOCIAL CLIMBER. And NO amount of money is worth being degraded. And as for Lisa, who I thought was actually really great, came off in such a weird way by getting on the pole. In front of her husband, Adrianna's bf, and Lea's husband. REALLY?!

 

You did the RIGHT thing. Any self-respecting woman would have done what you did. When you don't like something, don't stick around, get up and leave. 

 

MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU CLASS.

stlouisviewer
stlouisviewer

Ana,

Congratulations on having the integrity to get up and leave.  You set a wonderful example.  I truly cannot imagine why anyone would want to have dinner with that man, at his house or anywhere else.  It looks like some of the women will do anything to climb a social ladder.  I know he has been generous to Lea's fundraising efforts, but there are many generous people in Miami.  No one should subject themselves to that circus-like behavior.

LE884
LE884

Ok woman; clearly the TK affaire has nothing to do with women. Be real here, your feelings were already sensitive and hurt when he asked you not to discuss your drama at his party. I am a woman and I don't think he disrespected women. His acts was disrespectful to any human being, whether men or women.If I was a man, I would have still been offended if someone had spoken to me that way. Also, Thomas was right about you guys cutting your drama out, he did not invite you for that, it's not about being rich or poor, I would have felt the same way if my guests will drag their drama to my event. I just think, his expressions to this was over the top. Elsa walked out of there with nothing on her mind and like a person full of wisdom and she was the one that was even more disrespected than you all. You need to learn from her cuz I surely did!! 

tborio
tborio

I would have done the same thing.  The other women have no self respect and I have no respect for LEa defending tht pig

Gigitx
Gigitx

Love u Anna.....I feel every show needs a voice of reason/ commen sense....and u are it for Miami.

gpermesa
gpermesa

Sorry, I meant to respond to Aida545

Call_It_Out
Call_It_Out

Pros:

It's grate that you took a stand and are quick to defend your friends

 

Cons: 

You KNEW Marysol is not a confrontational person.

To put her down for NOT confronting is asinine.

 

Walje
Walje

Seriously, if Bravo is calling this a Reality Show, I expect the participants to be themselves and BE REAL. After following the show from the start, there are only a few ladies that are showing their true selves behind all these cameras and lights... and that's where it counts. I really give you Ana all my credit and respect. You always speak your mind in a classy way (as the classy lady that you are), never raising your voice or overreacting under any circumstance. With full respect and immense dignity you always LET THEM HAVE IT  when needed and say the truth. I admire you greatly. You are and always will be a true REAL HOUSEWIFE of Miami.  Wally (Jessie)

Aida545
Aida545

Ana I don't know how people cannot agree with your reaction. It just fathoms me. I cannot believe someone would put up with that just for "Status" or what not. Regardless I am behind you.

mary21
mary21

 @tjjpt Seems like you haven't been through a divorce:   after that,   old   terms of endearment   feel  REALLY different.   Also talking to children in a family,  they are not an impartial judge and jury,   one has earned the right to be  brief and informal  about things that have hurt us.   Also,  they aren't  little  kids.

pinkaboo
pinkaboo

 @ginmartini

 So many are fixated on Ana up and leaving when the truth is he embarassed her. Secondly, it doesn't seem like they're reading her blog. She's insulting us and the women on the show. She's just a misery.

CtViewer01
CtViewer01

 @ginmartini

 Methinks you had way too many gin martinis with that comment.  Way off base.

pinkaboo
pinkaboo

 @2ndavenue

 That's it! That's exactly how I see it. She is angry in every show. She's no mentor in my world.

2ndavenue
2ndavenue

 @steven_cali

 she underestimates everyone including the women on the show with her veiled insults.

Maya2
Maya2

 @mlbluv212

 I don't know about his succes as a lawyer but as a man to sit  there with a grin on his face while these ladies are being insulted especially Elsa? spoke volumes about him! he is no gentleman!

gini
gini

@mlbluv212 You are wrong about her husband not winning a case! Don't know where you get your info. He is noted to be one of the top attorney's in this country. Somtimes winning a case is keeping someone off death row or life in prison. Study up on the law.

mellowyellow
mellowyellow

 @LE884 If that was the case, then why didn't Thomas get his shorts in a wad when Lea went after Marysol? Hmmm. Sorry, that argument doesn't work.

Relo-HOM
Relo-HOM

 @LE884 You make a point that TK's acts were disrespectful to any human, both men & women.  But as a woman, I was offended by his statement that Joanna "must be on her period".  What type of person says those things?  

 

His expressions were not just "over the top" they were abusive and vulgar. 

cupoftea
cupoftea

@Walje --Hi Jessie-- inspired post...solid and oh so very true.

Maya2
Maya2

 @Relo-HOM  @LE884

 I agree but im so mad at Joanna for coming back and saying ' Roman loves you and i ADORE you" ? are you kidding me" ? she deserved for him to ridicule her again!