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Elsa on the Dance Floor – Ep 5

Elsa's got the moves like Jagger.

By Andrew Herrmann

Elsa's back, there's a new kooky character on the scene, and Lisa takes a bath with her dogs -- just another week in Miami. There's a lot to get through, so let's see what forecasts and predictions can be made about the weeks to come.

Everybody's buzzing about Joanna and Romain. First Marta meets with Romain to try and patch up their relationship, which basically devolves into Marta threatening to to move to Lisa's so he and Joanna can work on their own issues. Probably a good idea. Romain also gives her a dad-like tough love speech about working, which somehow came off very endearing. And now it makes more sense why they but heads so often.

Then we shift over to Ana's kitchen, where she (attempts) to teach Joanna how to make mushroom risotto. It would appear that Joanna's more into discussing her relationship with Romain and sporting a naked David statue apron than learning the recipe, but who can blame her -- relationship woes trump mushrooms. Ana shares some of the lessons she's learned from her own marriage about the importance of not always putting your career first (and remembering to cook for your man every now and again). Is risotto the key to saving this relationship?!

Prediction: Joanna's never going to make that risotto. Hopefully the relationship can survive despite that.Speaking of drama-filled relationships, Rodolfo's back and spending some quality time with Karent. When talk turns to the ladies, Rodolfo immediately quashes the conversation. He doesn't want Karent wasting any energy on the haters and offers up a rather interesting piece of advice: "If they're a bitch, you're a bigger bitch." This may be the first time in history a boyfriend has advised his girlfriend to be a big bitch.

Stealing Karent's Energy

Prediction: Karent's going to come for the ladies now that she has Rodolfo's blessing.

In other news, Lea Black drops that Queen Latifah, Tony Bennett, and Deborah Cox will be attending her annual gala.

Prediction: Please for the love of god tell me something dramatic will happen while Deborah Cox sings Stranger in My House.

From talk of a gala to Lisa's Hearts and Stars Gala! Lisa's co-hosting with her friend Malinka Max, and I'll say it right now, we need to see more of this Malinka girl. From the blond bob to the purple glittery gown, I'm obsessed.Enter Thomas Kramer. Evidently he's a Miami real estate mogul who seems to know everyone. He also seems to be delightfully eccentric, kind of like a kookier version of Aviva's dad, George, from Real Housewives of New York City. Lea alludes to his parties as being often times x-rated, so clearly this is someone who needs to be throwing events the ladies attend. And given that nearly all of them seem to be in competition over who's known him the longest/who's closer with him, I'm guessing he throws some majorly awesome events.

Prediction: You know he will be hosting the Housewives in the near future, and I can only hope that the event involves some sort of crazy costumes.

The real party begins when Elsa starts breaking it DOWN on the dance floor. That dress was flying all over the place while she gave us some serious coquette realness. And Thomas got right in there and started to get his groove on with her. I can't say their styles were very, um, compatible, but it was still a wonderful spectacle.
Elsa Cuts Loose
To sum up the dramatic portions of the evening as succinctly as possible:

-Lea makes up with Marysol and then hurts her feelings by making a joke about her ex. I guess we're back to square one.
-Pretty much everybody (minus Joanna and Lisa) has a problem with Karent being overbearing.

Prediction: As has been the case thus far, we'll see these two clashes come up at the next social event.

Then as we transition to Lisa's house, there's a magical moment that you may have missed -- some shirtless guy on a beach doing pushups on some sort of playground equipment. Huh? Can every stock-footage scene involve shirtless guys working out on unconventional gym equipment?

Anyway, Lisa has decided to train for motherhood by bathing her dogs. But she doesn't just throw them in the sink for a rinse, she dons a red bikini and brings them in the bath and shower stall with her. Just like any mom would do.
Lisa the Dog Groomer

Prediction: More odd mom-prep moments please!Lea's tasting was less about food and more about the underlying hostility between Adriana and Joanna. You could have cut that tension with a Fontainebleau butter knife. Clearly Joanna isn't on the same page with Adriana and Lea about Karent's behavior, and it was palpable how uncomfortable she was. And then there was the awkward moment when Joanna confronted Adriana about being flirty with Romain. I'm guessing Lea didn't know that this uncomfortable chemistry was on the menu for her big tasting. All the more reason to just sit back and focus only on the food.

Prediction: Given how much they already seem to dislike each other, I'd say the likelihood of Adriana and Joanna becoming BFFs is slim to none.

Next week Joanna discovers that Romain's been cheating. I imagine there will need to be some serious vodka drinking to process that.
Tension Starts to Boil in Miami

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