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Pole-Dancing for Peace - Ep 11
Bravotv.com's Associate Editor thinks there should be a pole on hand at every Housewives gathering.
Drag queens, surprise penises, and plenty of Elsa -- this episode had everything you could want and more. Except the red broom and Norman Baker. (Sorry, I just can't let them go!)
Elsa and Lea meet for a little wine and cheese. Just no mozzarella. (Side note: Did anyone else think Lea pronounced mozzarella oddly? Maybe that's just me being a jaded New Yorker.) They were also sipping from perhaps the largest wine glass I've ever seen. Seriously, they were like jugs. And while they tried to talk through Marysol's issues with Elaine, what it turned into was Lea trying to explain how drag queens work. Good times.
Then over to Lisa Pliner's house for a little shoe fashion show and some Elaine Lancaster drama. Allegedly Marysol told Lisa Pliner not to hire Elaine as the MC for the event, which of course then got back to Elaine because she's BFF with her. This was clearly the snub that broke the drag queen's back, because Elaine went on a hunt for Marysol, holding out that fan like a divining rod. And when she confronted her, Marysol responded by...running the other way? Elaine actually chased her through the party to find her again, where Marysol found some backup in her friend Lauren Foster, who we learned is trans and fabulous. She may win for best line of the episode when she announced, "I won't be bullied by that Housewife with a wiener." But after all of that, there still seems to be no resolution between Marysol and Elaine.
Prediction: I don't think Elaine will give up confronting Marysol. Ever.From one volatile event to another -- welcome to Thomas Kramer's house! Karent decides to co-host a dinner for the girls with the notoriously naughty Mr. Kramer, owner of "the Playboy mansion of the east coast." Alas, no bunnies, but plenty of fondue!
We must however take a moment to discuss Thomas' apron. The one with the prosthetic erection that pops out when you life the flap. Where does one purchase that? And does anyone else get the feeling he has a collection of everyday objects that have secret surprise penises?
On to the drama. First Joanna gets upset when Thomas asks Her if Romain is cheating (awkward!) and then says it's easy to run a nightclub. It was touch and go for a moment, then seems to blow over without a scene. Then Ana loses it when Thomas shushes her by ringing a giant bell and makes a comment about Lisa having to stuff her boobs into her dress. After sharing some heated words and calling him a misogynist, Ana heads out and Joanna goes with her. That went downhill quickly.
Lisa convinces Joanna to come back inside, so but when she starts getting teary while explaining herself at the table Lea takes a stand to defend Thomas. At this point Elsa decides she's heard enough shouting, so she takes a page from Cheri Oteri's "simmer down now!" SNL character and urges Lea to "simmer down." That's when it goes too far and Thomas yells at Elsa. What?! No one yells at Elsa. But like a lady, she just makes her exit. In perhaps the most down-to-earth comment every uttered on a Housewives show, Elsa explains to Marysol outside that Thomas asked her to go, but she could care less: "Big deal. I leave the house."
Prediction: Lots of headaches from all the shouting this week!Oh and then Lisa takes to the pole that is built into the dining room table to help alleviate the tension. As Joanna astutely noted, "I've never heard of anyone pole dancing to diffuse drama." Maybe these ladies should bring a pole to all of their events!
Next week it's time to meet all the Housewives' parents. Let's see if they're as dramatic as their children...