Game On

With my ridiculous schedule and book tour, I’m not going to bore you by going through each scene detail by detail like I did with Atlanta. I’m just going through the wives and breaking it down. Isn’t that all we care about anyway? So here goes:

Teresa: Ignorance is bliss. She is a sweet, happy, ditzy brunette with 3 pageant children who already have a massive penchant for shopping. As a child, I would rather put hot pennies on my eyes than be at a store, much less care about lip-gloss. These little ones will be picking out their own marble bathrooms by 18. To be fair, Gia seems to want to be an actress, but it seems like she’s just saying she wants attention. Little Mickey Mouse Club stars are scary. Britney and Lindsay and Michael Jackson aren’t wackjobs for no good reason. Paying with cash, little princesses and Jersey beauty contests are no surprise. Sweet girl though. She seems truly happy. In fact, I think that’s an unusual theme with this group (minus Danielle) which doesn’t seem to be the case on several other casts like um, all of the other casts.

Danielle: What a mixed bag here. I was rough on her last week, which I’m sure you all like. Now you’ll be annoyed if I give her any breaks, but I’m telling like it is: When running (and probably because she is now clothed) she looks great and is in shape. Her daughters seem sweet and pretty and lovely, and I’m not entirely mad at her as a mother. Bringing around different men isn’t perfect, but who knows how much honesty is too much? Jacqueline’s daughter seems like a spoiled girl and Danielle’s girls seem like they will be able to handle anything in the world. I’m biased because I was raised in an insane asylum and could always be thrown into anything.

Her relationship with that bald 26 year old who looks 50 is beyond bizarre, but here’s the thing: How can we get mad when someone is honest? This is what good reality television is all about. She likes phone sex and bathroom interludes. She’s demented and sad in many ways, but she is entertaining. Her tragic story is compelling.

Her pathetic and desperate attempt to be friends with and accepted by Dina is sad, but it seems like she is needy for love from a man and/or friends. Listen, it is obvious that she is in serious trouble, but there is more texture than we got last week. I’m drooling over the dirt she says she has on Dina. Something must have triggered her to grow the nerve she got to fight this fight. Game on.

The situation with her husband is probably 50 percent true. Was she engaged 20 times? Did I hear that right? I’m one to talk but that is deranged and something is very wrong here. I appreciate her honesty about her financial situation. Again, many of the wives in the franchise can’t stop perpetrating the image that they are rolling in dough. This is oddly refreshing. What is none of her business is to discipline Jacqueline’s daughter. In the same breath, Jacqueline’s daughter seems utterly spoiled and Danielle intentionally or unintentionally did something right.

Dina: I love this tough and pretty lady. I love her new assistant, her cute talk of payment in hugs and kisses and her “last year's Versace” line. I love that she busts her ass at work, and that it’s for charity, but she can't just assume that everyone is her employee. Her husband isn’t on this show for a very good reason, and it’s not because he works all the time. He wants no part of this, which we see because he isn’t even in her opening vignette. Take it from someone who knows. We may never see him except in a group. Where the husbands are absent, the children are present. Family is the theme here and I love it.

Jacqueline: She is a sweet, sweet, sweet woman who seems to have struggled and finally has almost everything she wants. Her husband doesn’t seem to be around much. I feel terrible about her misfortunes with pregnancy and can’t know how hard it is to have such a panic-filled experience. However, her daughter makes a great point that she has 2 kids, a boy and a girl and is lucky. Still, who could be upset at her? It was strange that she let a camera crew film a doctor meeting but wouldn’t let her daughter be there. I think she didn’t want her daughter to experience this.

Caroline: She is the greatest: Tough, sweet, loyal and surely the fan favorite. I love the non-contrived, nor overly dramatic dinner. I love her goofy, yet smart son, her ditzy, not-so-motivated daughter, her cuddly teddy bear husband and her sausage, pepper and potato dinner. She tries to give her children direction, you just know she knows right from wrong and this woman is a lion who would kill for her cubs.

In a bizarre twist of surprises to me, this cast is wildly entertaining, absurd and ridiculous at times, but I get the distinct sense that this is exactly who they are. They aren’t being overly dramatic for ratings. This is who these compelling characters are. Bravo to Bravo. I am in.