Awkward

I would first like to thank all of you who shared your pregnancy/miscarriage stories along with your happy endings on this blog. I know it's something that a lot of people like to keep private but for me it helped me in such a great deal to talk about it. I realized that this experience was more common than I had realized and hearing the success stories gave me the hope that I needed and the strength not to give up and I hope that it does the same for others. Best wishes to all of those who are struggling to conceive. I pray it happens for you as well. Be patient and don't give up if it's something you really want.

I would like to answer the questions that some of you had for me. The sunglasses I wore at my son's party and to the OB/GYN office were Chanel and I got them at the Chanel store at the Bellagio Hotel shops in Las Vegas, NV. I'm not sure of the style number, but if you call the store they may still have them or direct you to someone who does. They come in gold and silver and have quilted leather sides. The big cross necklace I wore with the turquoise shirt in my interview was a gift from my husband that he brought back with him from India so I have no idea where to find that. The navy dress I wore in front of Chateau on girls' night out was by Susana Monaco. I bought that online. The blue dress with the gold neckline I wore in People magazine and in the table-flipping scene was by AKA New York and I got that at the Maluka boutique in Wyckoff, NJ. Someone asked me how tall I am and how much I weigh. I'm 5'3" and when I'm NOT pregnant I am 115 pounds. I had two back-to-back miscarriages right before taping, so my weight was more like 120-123 while taping the show. I tend to get most of my clothes altered to fit me because my breasts are big and I have a small waist. I also usually need to shorten the length of my clothes. I hope that helps everyone!

I would also like to clear up some of the misconceptions about my in-laws. We ALL have friends outside the family. Everyone has his or her own opinions, but nevertheless it IS allowed. I was under a LOT of pressure from my family to end my friendship with Danielle. WHY? You will just have to watch and see. When I first moved to New Jersey, my husband and I didn't have our house yet, so Caroline generously invited us to stay at her house for the first 6 months I lived there. Dina and Lexi were also living there at the time. We had a LOT of fun and a LOT of laughs. Of course with a big family you have a lot of different personalities and opinions so there will always be some kind of conflict going on and someone in your business at all times, but the overall experience was great. It took some time to adjust to everyone's personality and sense of humor, because my family in Vegas is a lot smaller and different. I think when you have such a big family you don't always feel the need to branch out to new people because you know that your family will be there no matter what, there is always someone to talk to, and on top of that, you have your OWN family to run. They all were very welcoming to me. We can get on each other's nerves, we fight, but we DO get over it. They do have parties and invite "outsiders" to join in and they do give back to the community in different ways. They were brought up to be a little more cautious of people than me. They can be judgmental at times, but they tend to size up people to see if they can trust them first before letting them in. They are more street-smart than me. I tend to be more open and trusting of people. I would invite the devil over for tea if he was nice to me. We are just different in that way. I just wanted to clear that up.

As far as the show this week...I was laughing a lot. Teresa was funny as usual. I can relate to her frustration with her navigation system. Mine always seems to take me all over hell but I still continue to use it. Sometimes I would like to get to the source of that my navigation's British accent and punch him right in the face!

Gia is so cute. All of Teresa's kids have gorgeous eyes. Trust me, Gia wants this acting/modeling career more than Teresa. Teresa is just very supportive of whatever her kids want. Gia's celebrity photo shoot was over the top. Love that trunk full of pink leopard and Burberry bags. Holy crap Teresa! Was all of that REALLY necessary? God bless you for even having the energy to pack and unpack and lug around all of that stuff. Only YOU Teresa!

I enjoyed seeing my brother-in-law celebrity cook/stylist on the show. He has such a great talent and sense of humor. "Rooster Down! Rooster Down!" "You are sending your daughter to Cyprus on vacation...it's not like you are sending her to prison." LOL. He and Dina work well together. She is also very talented at what she does. I can understand her struggle between wanting a successful career and wanting to be there for her daughter at all times. Sometimes there is guilt in juggling the two. She just needs to find her balance. Many successful career women are great mothers. It's OK to be both. She will find the path that best suits her and her daughter. Lexi cracked me up. "Can she call me ma'am or your Majesty?' " Can she wear the little outfit?" "Why? We are paying her?" If you knew Lexi's sense of humor you would know that she was joking. Grandma Wrinkle is the best. She is so ugly that she is cute, kind of like Yoda.

I did not enjoy that mother/daughter bonding moment on the show where I had to tell my daughter that she had failed two classes and would have to go to summer school. I could have done without that on OR off TV. Ashley says," School's like...out," and I say, "Yeah, but NOT for you." Brutal! I hope she learns a hard lesson from that and pulls herself together. All of her friends have cars already. She will not be allowed to have one until she begins to take school more seriously and starts showing a little more maturity and responsibility. Just for the record...I DID NOT GET ASHLEY A CAR, NOR DO I AGREE THAT SHE DESERVED ONE! IT WAS MY BIG HEARTED HUSBAND THAT BOUGHT IT WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT! Just saying. I respected and agreed with everything that Caroline was saying, but just didn't understand why I was the one taking the heat for it and nobody wanted to talk to Chris about it when HE was the guilty one. That was funny when Albie said,"That is what you give her for failing out of school? What is she going to get for getting locked up?" LOL. No worries - that car is going into storage until Ashley can prove herself. She still doesn't know we have it. Will she pull it together this summer? I'm rooting for you Ashley! I know you can!

My niece had so many great one-liners it was hard to stop laughing. All of my nieces and nephews crack me up. Lauren, I love you and I have total faith in you that you will make the right decision for you concerning your beauty school and cosmetology career. I can't wait to see how it all turns out.

The spa party at Danielle's house was a lot of fun. We were all joking around about doing Danielle's injections for her and laughing because it just looked so painful that at that time nobody wanted to be on the other side of that needle. We were being silly. It looked as though some comments were taken more serious than it actually was. Everybody was laughing and joking around. I think Danielle was more upset about opening up her house and sharing all of these great free services and not everybody was participating and she felt like she was being belittled for choosing to do so herself. "Apologies are in order!" After a few glasses of wine, I made the decision to do my lips. I would have done them anyway, why not? It was so funny because afterwards my mouth was so numb and stuck in a perma-grin all night that I looked like the Joker or the Grinch. It was hilarious. I couldn't stop my forced smiling and just kept laughing. Actually, I accidentally spit my wine out all over Danielle's wall. Sorry about that Danielle and Thank you editors for not airing that. Haha! I do dumb things sometimes. I'm a goofball. It was "Crazy times 10," just as Caroline said.

The three-way dinner date with Steve...awkward! Danielle was actually going to break up with him at the table in front of us. That would have been uncomfortable for everyone. "Steve, can you please pass the salt and then make like a tree and LEAVE!" Haha! Better step up to the plate Steve and start swinging or you're going to lose her! What will Danielle decide to do with him? Watch and see what happens!

The barbeque at Danielle's house...awkward! I think Danielle just wanted and needed to vent. It is a VERY hard position to be between family and a friend. I always try my best to understand everybody's point of view. I just like everyone to fight his or her own battles just as I like to fight MY own. I started laughing when I turned my head to take a swig of my drink while Danielle was ranting. I was feeling VERY uncomfortable and really did not know what to do with myself. "All fake people WILL be revealed." Time will tell all.

I wanted to say that the day I had the play date with Teresa, I was perfectly fine with Danielle coming over to talk about her issues with Steve. That's what friends are for. I did, however, learn very quickly that Danielle was there only to vent and really didn't seem interested in our advice. I quickly shut up and just listened. I was in NO WAY insinuating that Danielle did not care about her kids. OF COURSE she does! My point and MY opinion was this... I feel like she shouldn't introduce men to her children so soon because sometimes they get more attached to the guy than she does and then when she breaks it off with the guy, it's hard on them. I just feel that she should take the time to get to know the guy better first to see if it's someone SHE likes and trusts and feels as though he will be around a while BEFORE she introduces him to her kids. I feel that most kids tend to love and accept anyone you care about and trust so there shouldn't be a rush for that. It's only MY opinion and there is NO need to get mad at me for that. You do what you feel is right for you and your kids. I was just trying to help. I wasn't trying to insult Danielle.

The conversation between Teresa and I in my family room was about the rumors that were swirling around town about Danielle. It made us all a little uncomfortable. I wanted to approach Danielle about what I'd heard but at the same time, I didn't want to embarrass her or anger her with them either. Even if I asked her directly if there was some the truth in some of these rumors there is really no guarantee that she would even share that truth with me. I really don't know what to think or what to do at this point.

By the previews I saw for next week, it looks as though they are showing some pretty big pieces to the puzzle as to what lead to our big finale episode. I almost choked on my water when I saw Teresa holding up a copy of that book. HOLY CRAP...HERE WE GO! Sometimes things aren't always as they appear to be...or ARE they? Stay tuned...