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Mom Knows Best

NYC's Jill Zarin knows what it's like to be a mother and a Real Housewife. She shares her advice with the New Jersey wives!

By Jill Zarin

OK ladies and gents...this is my first blog on a show that I am not on. I considered myself very objective until TODAY! I was all ready to "let it all go" like Bethenny does until I ran into 4 of the 5 of the RHNJ today at a gifting suite. A gifting suite is set up for celebrities to "shop" among fabulous companies (Michael Stars, Balenciaga sunglasses, Habitual Denim, Heelys, Solstice Sunglasses, Lancaster Skin Care, Rebecca Minkoff bags, Lia Sophia jewelry, etc) In return, these companies encourage the celebrities to use and enjoy their products publicly. In fact, I ran into Joel Hale from The Soup. I don't think he recognized me at first, despite the fact that he licked a dogs face to mimic Ginger licking my nose. I also ran into Ramona and we had fun together. As we were about to leave...I saw them. You cannot miss them. I guess that is what people say when they see us coming, but it feels different because it is me! So I don't want to give anything away, but there are definitely surprises coming. Happy ones. After chatting with them (in front of everyone in the room) I would feel bad saying anything not nice. I am torn because I feel that if you sign up to do a reality show, there is a "public permission" granted to fans to write what they think (as long as it's not vulgar or illegal.) Certainly you have all said what you want about us good or bad. So with that "permission" granted to me in my we go. These are my notes...cleaned up after I watched the episode.

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 14 premiere May 5th at 8/9c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

Jacqueline...Guilt. We all have's never enough...we are never there enough...we don't give enough. I am referring to Jacqueline's first scene with her daughter Ashley. Who has the answer? Gloria! Jacqueline, call Gloria! Email her at Gloria always told me it starts in elementary school, and if by high school they don't have their act together, it's almost too late. You have another chance. Spoiling your son like that with that over the top birthday party is not giving him the values he will need. It starts now. Who was the party really for? Him? I promise, he will never remember anything except that he was never told no. You have a chance, start today.

Theresa...boobie...adorable. I wish I could show her a crystal ball of what happens when you overly indulge little girls when they are very young. They become entitled women who can't take no for an answer. They often become troubled teens with no boundaries. As Gloria might say, hard to find a husband that way, but I guess that is too far to project into the future. They are adorable and I just want to squeeze them tight too. Shopping a few times a week with them? You are creating women no man will ever be able to please. Be careful. But I am NOT the first person to tell you that, am I? Jacqueline seemed upset with Ashley throughout the episode and the producers did not do a good job setting up why for the viewer. I can only imagine the scenario of a teenage girl in my head. Too many boys, too many friends, possible alcohol involved and no good outcome.

When Danielle tried to "help" or as I say " interfere" with Jacqueline and her daughter, I wanted to scream "stay out of it!" What is she thinking? Memo to Danielle: Take care of your own kids, they will need help after they see THIS episode. Will they be able to go to school tomorrow after you totally embarrassed them as a cougar inviting your date into the bathroom? (Maybe you should have been on the COUGAR dating show instead of the Real Housewives?) Even with editing allowances, did you hear what you said? I have to say I didn't understand what the issue was with Ashley having friends over...5 or 10. The backyard can hold 1000 and since it was a daytime party and the parents are home, what could be going on? But I will NOT interfere with the mother's decision either. She is correct. If the answer is NO, then it is NO, no matter what.

Caroline...My first impression from the commercials was...I am scared! She scared me! I think she would probably say she was scared of herself too. Gotta love Bravo, they do love the DRAMA. I had the pleasure of meeting her older son and daughter at Micah Jesse's graduation last weekend. Of course I had laryngitis (no voice at all!) in a noisy club and could not carry on a proper conversation, but they are both lovely and seemed very excited to be on the show. I gave them a few words of wisdom and said to hide under the covers if they have a "bad" week and promised no matter how bad, the following week would focus on someone else's troubles.

I met Caroline in person today and she is very petite. We do have one very BIG thing in common. When I say big, I mean it. We are both 32G, or shall I say I was and she still is. We talked about "bubbies" (no one can say it like Theresa though, with that voice!) for a few minutes and I told her how happy I was with my new figure. She has a very sweet smile and I am excited to see how her character develops on the show. They definitely set her up to be the queen bee of the clan.

Now let's talk about her beautiful and sweet daughter Lauren. Lauren, I am so sorry if you felt badly when you saw the deck scene. I hope you all learned a lot about editing for next season and have your antenna up next year. Let me share a few words of wisdom I learned from Gloria that popped into my head when I watched the scene. You have to know who your children are, know what they are capable of and what they want. Not everyone is born a leader. You need followers in a working society and there is nothing wrong with being one. Lauren's goals are to get married and have a family. Being an entrepreneur is very difficult and requires a 110% commitment, which Lauren does not seem ready to give yet. You need to accept your children for who they are and help maximize their potential without making them feel insecure and "less than." It is clear that Caroline loves her children, and would put herself in front of a truck to protect them. She is open minded to new ideas.

Dina, I am scared of you too, but I have to say, what were you thinking when you interviewed that boy? You were totally unprofessional by flirting with him. It was erotic and uncomfortable for the viewer to watch. Was there something there that we did NOT see? It was weird when you said, "If I am a bitch, will you love me the next day?" and "If it is a little slow, will you take another form of payment?" and "advance salary if he'll take a hug?" to a new employee. So we want to know, did you hire him? Is he still working for you? And why didn't he help at the charity? I was very impressed with the charity event you pulled off. I know how hard it is and how stressful it can be. A word of advice - people watch you to set the mood. If you're stressed, your guests will feel stressed. The reason I asked Bethenny to leave is because I did not want any drama during the event and wanted my guests comfortable. NO ONE at the party had any idea what happened between us and were shocked when they saw the episode. I know you didn't ask me, but just food for thought in future.

I didn't like that you fired Jacqueline's daughter on camera. By the way, was she being paid? Danielle, what do you mean you wouldn't buy a ticket. TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE? For that alone, YOU are fired! It is all about good energy. If you change your energy, things might get better for you. Start with sending Dina's charity a check TODAY! It is not too late and would be a generous gesture.

Lastly, next time you have a 70's disco party, would someone call me? I LOVE DISCO. Please tell me the website for your charity so I can make a donation!

I hope none of you are mad at me. I say it the way I see it, don't worry. You will have your turn next season!

Have a great holiday weekend, and to our veterans, Happy Memorial Day!
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