Excess Baggage

Excess Baggage

Kathy talks New Year's resolutions and addresses Teresa's issues with her.

Happy New Year! I always feel the New Year is bittersweet. Saying goodbye is not always an easy thing, and a new beginning can also be equally as hard. I am an optimist. I look at the year that has passed as a time for reflection, a time for me to look at my life and relationships. I try to reevaluate my direction and set new goals and expectations for the New Year ahead. 

Caroline has settled into her radio show with such ease. Her sound advice has helped so many people. At the same time I find that she has been an inspiration to so many stay-at-home moms that have found themselves coping with an empty nest. What a positive way to put her experiences as a wife, mother, and friend to good use.

As I watched Melissa in the car listening to Caroline's radio show, I can't help but see how nervous she is about calling Teresa. I have to give her credit though, that didn't stop her from calling. I have felt the same way myself. I never know where a conversation on the phone or otherwise is going to end up with Teresa. Melissa's goal was to get the kids together and she stayed focused. How lucky those kids are to have mommies that are not letting their differences stand in the way of making their kids happy. It was well worth it, I was tickled when they jumped into each other's arms as Antonia opened the door.   

I have to thank Melissa once again for trying to reason with Teresa on my behalf, despite the fact that I've told her not to worry about Teresa and me. If there's one thing Teresa was right about, it's that we will always be family. I don't know, call me crazy, but that didn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. However I do appreciate Melissa being such a good friend and her loyalty always warms my heart. I guess that's why our relationship has become so strong. Melissa looks out for me and I look out for her. That's not to say that we don't disagree at times. We value and respect each other's opinion, and we are not to afraid to share it with one another, even though at times our opinions are quite different. I never want her to hinder the progress that she is making with Teresa for their family.

As you all can see, it definitely looks like Teresa is holding on to a great deal of excess baggage of hurt and resentment towards me. For the record I have apologized many times over the last twenty years for not asking her to be a part of my wedding party. I don't know what I was thinking or not thinking. It was a terrible oversight on my part. I'm not going to make any excuses but simply say to all that have planned a wedding, you know how crazy and overwhelming it can be. While trying to deal with making everyone around you happy, sometimes you overlook the people that are closest to you. I wish I could go back and make things right. Unfortunately I cannot. However Rich and I are celebrating our twenty-year anniversary, so maybe we can do all over again and this time she can be my flower girl. What do you think? 

Well judging by the way Teresa feels about Richie, maybe that's not the answer either. Yikes! That was an extremely harsh display of her feelings. Maybe she was trying to be funny.  I'm curious as to where she has gotten the idea that Richie is obsessed with her and that he wants her. For the record, Teresa seems to think that of a lot of people. I have to admit that was not the greatest visual for me either. But whatever, I've given up trying to figure out what's going on in that brain of hers. All I can say is that I hope that Teresa can come to her senses and realize that holding on to negative feelings can eat away at you. Those negative feelings seem to breed and multiply, and after a while they stifle the positive and leave you empty with an ugly hole in your heart. I can only hope that the New Year brings a new sense of enlightenment for her.

It seems to me that no one is safe from Teresa's attack. In that play date, which was supposed to be about the kids and mending her family relationship, she managed to not only attack me and my husband but also her sister-in-law and her brother. Why couldn't she be happy that Melissa is pursuing her dream? Why couldn't she be happy that her brother was being supportive of his wife's singing career? Having that recording studio built in their home enables Melissa to pursue a childhood dream with out letting go of fulfilling her dream and responsibility of being a mother. What a blessing that Joey found a way to make everyone in his household happy. Clearly by doing that, he has made himself happy too. We can never put a price tag on a household of harmony. I had to laugh when Melissa used the Ursula and Ariel reference. I can just picture that scene in my head. Enough said, come on, you have to admit you were all laughing too.            

I have a great appreciation for art and those who possess that gift. Ashley is truly gifted. As I watch this scene I'm also learning that unfortunately she also possesses the same characteristics of a true artist. Ashley clearly marches to the beat of her own drum, she doesn't like rules, limitations, or deadlines. I too wanted to be an artist when I was growing up, so I can understand what she's feeling. As a parent I totally sympathize with Jacqueline and her frustration towards Ashley and her lack of desire to cultivate her talent and set goals for herself. It's so hard for parents to make their children aware of their full potential. I myself dismissed the idea of becoming an artist early on thanks to the advice of my father. He was a straight shooter, not a man of many words, but when he spoke everyone listened. He told me, "There's no free lunch." In other words, how would I be able to support myself?  How about that for a reality check? So with that I decided to use my creative and artistic talents in a profession where I can make money. I was lucky enough to realize my talent in the world of beauty and my love for people. So of course I became a hairdresser! After all, there was such a shortage of them in New Jersey. 

It was great to see Lauren and Ashley working together. Imagine, cousins working together to achieve their goals instead of tearing one another apart. Good luck, Lauren, I think your inherited business sense and creative talent is a winning combination.

I really appreciated Caroline and Albert's gracious invitation to their New Year's party. It was very thoughtful, and it meant a lot to me. It was also an indication to me that Caroline was starting to put the unfortunate incident at the Posche fashion show behind us. I'm hoping that by her example Teresa can start to soften up and see things a little differently and try to move forward as well. Teresa is very lucky to have good friends like Caroline and Jacqueline. I'm glad that Teresa has found someone like them to call sisters.

When I accepted Caroline's invitation, I was concerned for Teresa's feelings. I didn't want my or my family's presence to make Teresa uncomfortable in any way. So I decided that I wasn't going to force anything with her besides hello and Happy New Year. I see that Teresa's plans were just to ignore me. Can't say I'm surprised, it's typical for Teresa to avoid dealing with her feelings and conflicts. Unless of course she can flip a table, toss someone across the room, or shout random accusations and then storm off and cause a scene. 

Speaking of random, where does Teresa get off thinking that she has inspired me to cook? I thought she would follow that with "just kidding," because we both know how ridiculous that statement is! I had to laugh, because now I'm starting to realize that she has really flipped her noodle. I've been married for almost twenty years now. Who does she think cooks for my family every night? My mother, my mother-in-law, some hired chef? Come on now, she is really reaching with that one and she knows it.

Finally the end of the evening. Let's all be clear on one thing. Grown men hitting on 16-year-old girls...not cool. Whether it's my daughter or someone else's. Back off. Know your boundaries. Step off. THE END.

Sometimes I fall short of my own expectations for myself, and sometimes I am disappointed in others. Nonetheless, the New Year is a time for change. Maybe a time for me to make changes, maybe a time for the people around me. Time certainly does not stand still and we sure can't go back...how wonderful would that be if we could. 

However the New Year always brings us hope. Good or bad, we can always hope for things to get better. I can honestly say that watching myself on television has made me more aware of myself, and this has been such a helpful tool for me. And this New Year, like the last, my resolution is always the same. I try to improve myself, own up to any mistakes I may have made. Right the wrongs, learn the lesson, try to fix it and put it behind me. I hope everyone is keeping up with their resolutions.

I want to thank my friends at Reve boutique in Englewood for helping me pick out my New Year's Eve dress. Be sure to visit their website at www.reveboutique.com and check out all of their fantastic clothes.

As always, THANK YOU for your continued support and for inviting us in to your homes each and every week. 

Lots of Love, 

xoxo Kathy

Follow me and my family on Twitter: @kathywakile, @richardwakile,@victoria_wakile and @josephwakile 

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