Light at the End of the Tunnel

Hi, hope everyone had an incredible Father's Day! We spent it down on the shore with Joe's family and had a wonderful time. The kids made him the most beautiful gifts at school, and then we went out on a boat and went fishing. It was a great day with family! I cherish every moment with Joe and the kids more than ever, because I've been so busy. I miss my father so much and thought about him a lot this weekend. I just hope everyone appreciates every moment they have with their parents. Joe is such a great dad and he was beaming with pride when the kids gave him their gifts; it was so cute!

OK, well time to travel back in time and explain this episode (and what an episode it was). I'm glad Joe took the steps to talk to Teresa about why he's upset with her. It's obvious from the opening scenes that I will support whatever it takes for my husband to reconcile with his sister. It is so emotionally draining, but I tell him to stay positive. Teresa and I may never see eye to eye, but I know how much he loves her and wants his family back. I don't think we will ever be perfect, but I hope to at least get to a place where we can respect each other and have the kids together more and spend Sundays together as a family. 

I'm going to address what happened in this episode and try to give you some insight into why there is conflict between our families. Watching this episode it's obvious that from Teresa's point of view she feels it's completely my fault and my husband feels that Teresa and Joe Giudice are at fault. Every argument has two sides, and I admit I've made mistakes along the way. So here we go.

As you see in this episode (and more in next week's) the breakdown between my husband and his sister began well before I entered the picture. Teresa even admits that she put her brother before her husband; by doing that, she made her husband turn against her brother. I don't blame Joe Giudice for getting a complex and feeling the need to keep up with my husband, because at every turn he was being asked why Joey has this or look at the big house Joey built. That began way before I came around, and I could feel the tension from the very first day I spent with his family. That's the truth. 

At dinner, my husband pulls out Teresa's letter and asks her, "What do you mean by you hurt me, you hurt my family?" Teresa has no answer. Joe tells Teresa that their relationship is broken because he feels that she neglected his family, that she is not an aunt to his kids, and that he is tired of her being fake for the cameras. In the first episode, Joe tells Teresa to "do what you do best" and ignore us. He's referring to the fact that Teresa doesn't call to see how our kids are or come over to see our family. He also mentions in this episode how she doesn't know her godson, Gino, and my heart broke. 

Teresa constantly says, "It's your wife," that I'm "cold," and that I ignored her phone calls. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not cold. I am one of the most loyal people around. I love life, and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I never wanted to ignore her phone calls, but sometimes I would be having a nice day with my kids and she would call, make an unnecessary dig, and ruin it. As you can see from watching the show for the past three seasons, Teresa has a way of saying things to people that can make your mouth drop almost every time. She'll say something nasty then, when you react, she will call you out on it and never acknowledge what she said to cause the reaction in the first place. These are the hurtful comments that Kathy talks about during the episode, which Teresa thinks we are all too sensitive about and should just ignore. It's like that girl in school who will pinch you and then when the teacher comes over to see what the problem is she just smiles and says, "I don't know why she's so mad." 

When Joe asks Teresa, "What has my wife done to you," she comes back to the fact that I sent her a card that said, "Congratulations to you and your re-done home." I'm not sure if you caught it, but what Joe tries to explain to Teresa is that I wrote that card, because when we finished our new house, she called not to congratulate us, but to say that we only finished your home in a year because we had a loan. It seemed like Teresa was upset that we finished our home first, like it's a competition. What's the big deal? Why can't we celebrate that we're both movin' on up? I'm not proud that I said re-done home on her card. I should have just zipped it and let it go. Understand this is just one of the many backhanded comments we've received from Teresa over the years, and you can only get pushed so much. 

After watching these past few episodes, I'm starting to see that when Teresa talks about her family, she means her mother, father, her brother, and her kids -- not her brother's wife or his kids. If any of you are aunts or uncles maybe you can understand where I'm coming from. Think about the love you have for them. Could you ever treat them wrong or ignore them? I love my nieces and nephews; they can do no wrong in my eyes. I really wish I could get the kids together for more play dates. I know I just have to suck it up and deal with Teresa to make sure the kids don't grow up without really knowing each other, but we also really need to talk about the underlying issues before we can move forward as a family. The problem is that Teresa pretends like everything is fine when it's not. She has a tendency to throw a blanket over everything instead of sitting down and getting to the root of the problem so everyone can move on.

I really feel that Teresa shows her true colors when she tells Jacqueline her side of the meeting with her brother. She keeps saying, "It's Melissa! It's Melissa!" Joe is his own man and he makes his own decisions. Anyone who knows him knows that I can never change his mind on anything. He just wants Teresa to own up to her mistakes. 

I expected Teresa to blame me, since I'm usually the scapegoat, but what I didn't expect was what came out of her mouth... She tells Jacqueline that I'm a "gold-digger" and in the same breath bashes me for not growing up with a silver spoon in my mouth! I held down three jobs to put myself through college when I first met Joe. My father had just passed and my uncle/godfather helped me. What's wrong with working three jobs? What's wrong with working to pay your own way? That is one of the reasons why her brother loves me and respects me so much. I'll do whatever it takes. It's also the reason why Teresa wants people to respect her now. She is now working to make money for her family, right? 

I'd also like to know what's so wrong with Joe and I falling in love and moving in together quickly? After seven years and three kids, we are stronger than ever! And I'm a gold-digger? Does she think her brother has nothing to offer besides money? Joe is so supportive, pushing me follow my dreams. He is my gorgeous prince charming who is hilarious and sometimes annoying, but come on, our chemistry is undeniable. Joe and I hit rock bottom financially and I stood by him until we pulled through together. I didn't leave him then and I never would.

Teresa's constant digs about me and Joe aren't even what is so upsetting throughout this entire episode. Teresa recalls a conversation that her and I supposedly once had early on in my relationship with Joe, where I said to her, "As soon as I met Joe, I saw his house. I wasn't stupid like my two sisters, I was smart." Now that is an absolute lie. I never thought Teresa would go so low as to outright lie. I almost couldn't believe my ears. My sisters are my world, and they both live beautiful lives. They are very lucky women to say the least, and she knows that. I don't get it? What is her reason for this? I can't even believe she said that.

Anyway, I'm glad you get to see our dinner with Kathy and Rich at Kim and Bob Hiza's house. You can clearly see that we had the perfect opportunity to discuss Teresa and Joe Giudice's financial problems, but we took the high road as we always do when that topic is brought up in the press, on the show, and around other people. We are not out to get Teresa or talk about their legal issues. When I say I want this family to get back together, I truly do mean it. I want our kids to play together, and I want us to spend time together as a family. I never sat down with Teresa face-to-face until now, but I stand by what I wrote above. Let's sit down talk about our issues and fix them, for real.

OK on a lighter note, how great is Caroline getting her own radio show? She had a rocky start to her first show, but by the end you could see she was made for this (well except for the weather reports). It's interesting that the radio show focused on family issues. Caroline makes a whole lot of sense, and I have the utmost respect for her. She is a strong Italian woman who has an amazing and strong family. For the record, that woman who called in with my same story was not me or anyone I know! Seems like this happens a lot with families and people get through it, so I'm happy to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm excited for everyone to see next week's episode, which I think will be very telling. Keep watching; things have a way of coming around.

Joe and I are packing for LA this week. It's my first trip to Cali, and I know I'll fall in love with it. 

Check in with my website, http://www.melissagorga.co. Follow me on Twitter @melissagorga and on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/melissagorga.co.

I hope everyone has a magnifico giornata!!

Xoxo

Melissa