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Clashing with Rich

Kathy opens up about the difficulties of balancing business with marriage.

By Kathy Wakile

Happy Pride! What a great day to celebrate LOVE. Love for one another. Love for oneself. Richie and I were lucky enough to spend the day in NYC with everyone at NBCUniversal, celebrating equality in the Pride Parade. Congratulations to all for the giant steps that occurred this week in Washington towards progress and equality for all Americans.

And to my sister Rosie, so glad to be by your side on this day, you’re one in a million. We are each other’s protectors, best friends, sisters, on this day and side by side together, as family should be, always and forever. Sister Love!
Now for the episode…

I love being a girl. Ever since I can remember, I wanted to see, touch, and play with everything pretty -- makeup, clothes, hair -- not much different today, ha! When we went to the benefit store in NYC, all of those childhood beauty parlor memories came flooding back when we walked in with everything pink and products all wrapped up in pretty packaging. Who could say no? I’m glad Jacqueline invited me to go, we had a lot of fun for the Girls’ Night Out!When I started on this show, I had know idea what would happen over time. I never dreamed that my love and passion for cooking and being a housewife would lead to anything like me starting a dessert business. I’m sure that many of the other ladies in the Housewives franchise feel the same way -- all I can say is I feel blessed and grateful, and what's really amazing is the fan support. It's thanks to the dedicated and encouraging loyal viewers and family that have brought me to this place in my life. I could never have imagined starting my own dessert company, let alone a gourmet cannoli home delivery kit.

No more than I could have imagined that my family's voice would be important enough to be included in organizations to raise brain tumor awareness. I know I mentioned this before, but my daughter was honored recently by The Children's Brain Tumor Foundation by being named inspirational honoree along with Camille Grammer and Dr. Michael Prados. I'm so proud of her!
I want to take a minute to thank you all for your constant encouragement and continuous dedication. You become almost as invested in our lives as we do. That is truly empowering. I've been really busy in the kitchen these days -- I have a test kitchen, can you believe it?! -- and I'm writing down my recipes as I'm preparing. Stay tuned to see how it all works out.I never expected this cooking/baking passion that I have to take off. I’ve been remembering all the baking I did when my kids were younger for their birthday parties, no store bought cakes, it was all home baking. And now to turn that into a business, OMG! I can share my tips/tricks that can benefit all of you -- I will be posting some of my recipes on my website for my friends to indulge in. You can purchase my Dolci della Dea (Goddess Sweets) cannoli kit there as well.

For so many years I was a stay at home mom, wife, homemaker, nurse, bookkeeper, head chef, psychologist, referee, cleaning lady, decorator, plumber, painter, gardener, chauffeur, tutor, best friend, and disciplinarian. Better known as being a MOM. Everything that was included under that umbrella I did and was thrilled to do it. And I still do! I handled everything in the house and Richie took care of everything outside of the house. This was a great arrangement and partnership. Since I loved doing all of these things, it was just second nature to me, and Richie loved doing what he did.

So when Richie and I decided to go forward with my hobby and turn it into a business, we had to go through, as many do, business adjustments. I would have never went forward with this venture unless Rich was 100% on board. But I am lucky -- he is so supportive that whenever I have an idea, he acts on it. As a matter of fact, he was constantly pushing me. We made an agreement since he was working from home more that he would allow me to have all creative direction and he would take care of the business and financial decisions. However, I didn’t want to enter into this blindly, and I wanted to understand and know everything that needed to be done, whether it was creative or financial. Unfortunately, creative and mechanics often clash. Creative people also desire more than what the budget allows, but as with any successful concept, a reality check needs to be part of that creative flow.

Marriage is not any different. For so many years we knew our duties and responsibilities and our rhythm; our marriage ran like a well oiled machine. OK, now pump your brakes because we’ve thrown a monkey wrench into the machine. Not so smooth anymore, huh? Needless to say, we are figuring it all out as we go and we're just fine, actually, better than just fine. We love each other and are committed to learning, growing, and taking our relationship to an even deeper level. Isn't that what life is about? No mediocrity for us.

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Sundays at 8/7c on Bravo and stream next day on Peacock.

I like to think of it this way: you have a saucepan with heavy cream, sugar, and vanilla. All of these things are just lovely, but add some heat and all of a sudden you have a bubbling new concoction and it’s starting to get thick and overflow. But let it cool down and you have pudding. Sometimes things have to reach their boiling point, change, and the result is even better than what you started with!

Bringing Business into Marriage
I think many marriages and families go through this alchemy, and it’s the strong and patient ones that make it out even better than before. Sending love to those of you who have reached your boiling point and are ready to give up. Don't. Take a deep breath and cool down, you may just find you have something really wonderful.
Speaking of wonderful, my cannoli kit -- Dolci della Dea (Goddess Sweets) -- is doing really well. I’ve been on QVC twice already with huge success and now it’s available on my website and soon available in select specialty grocery stores nationwide.

Keep up with what’s happening with me on Twitter @kathywakile, @richardwakile, @victoriawakile, @josephwakile and on Facebook.

Lot's more going on with how it all unfolds...keep watching and see how we all end up in a good place!

Lots of Love,

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