Jan and Penny's Ridiculous Rumors

Thank you all so much! I’m overwhelmed. It’s such a huge honor to be here. First of all, I’d like to thank the Academy for giving me this incredible award. Thanks to my co-stars. You make me look good! Special thanks to all of the back-stabbers, trouble makers, gossipers, and sh-- stirrers out there! You’ve made me what I am today! Truly!

LOL! I would love to be as great an actress as my former friend claims. Actually as far as you’re concerned Martin Scorsese, I am! Well, that was a bizarre and confusing night. I’m sure you are just as dizzy as I am. Teresa and I had already talked about the rumors and she told me to just “ignore it.” So I was surprised when she called and suggested that her launch party would be the “perfect time” to confront the people that have been spreading these lies about me. It was a long time since we’ve been together as a family and supporting one another. I knew it was going to be a big night for her and I didn’t understand why she even allowed them to come in the first place.

As you can see I don’t like to be confrontational. I’ve learned to step around the pit when the snakes are hungry. But I couldn’t avoid a confrontation this time. The magazine cover. The rumors. I had to deal with it head on to make it stop. Like Teresa said, we need to do what Dr. V. suggested and be a united front and back each other up.  In that regard, it was a missed opportunity. I would have loved it if Teresa said something to back me up. Then again, she didn’t have to. No one had to. I could have just stood there silently, nodding along as Jan and Penny revealed themselves to be exactly what they are. Their stories had more holes than a punchboard. Why would “people” ask questions about me to someone I’d never met? It just doesn’t add up.

Didn’t you love Joe’s expression during that whole conversation? It was priceless. He was on the verge of laughing in their faces. The whole thing was a joke! When we were watching the episode, it was like Comedy Night at the Improv.  Joe is my united front. He always backs me up!Jan and I, along with a lot of other people, hung out when we were young. We partied and went to clubs. I got married at 25 and had my baby girl at 26. My partying days were behind me and a lot of my old friendships faded. It happens.

Accusing me of having “skeletons under my bed” is just ridiculous. Like what? When I was a teenager, I went to clubs? I kissed a boy before Joe? Stop the freakin’ presses.

It’s all true. Once upon a time, I was young and had fun. You got me! Now I’m older and I have another kind of fun with my husband and three children. Yes, I’ve changed! As bad as I am at counting, I know there’s a difference between 21 and 34.

The bottom line: Jan and I were friends for five minutes, a million years ago. We grew apart. She chose to lie about me for 15 minutes. Whatever. I wish her well and God bless.To see the gorgeous back cover shot of Joe on Love Italian Style, check out my Instagram and Twitter. For my book tour schedule and events, go to my website. I’m so excited that my book will be out in less than a month! You can preorder order it now! There are lots of sexy secrets, including how to text in five different positions without typos (just kidding).

XOXO,
Melissa