It's hard to believe that Season 7 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is FINALLY over.
I can tell you that for me personally, this was a very emotional season, and I am happy to have it behind me.
Obviously, being reunited with my family in the first episode after being away for almost a year was AMAZING. I cry every time I re-watch it. If you listen closely as I am getting out of the car and walking from the garage into the house, you can hear my heart beating so loud, it sounds like it is going to jump through my chest!
While that was a happy episode for me, saying goodbye to Joe later in the season when he went away absolutely crushed me. I saw 30 seconds of that episode and could not continue watching, it hurt me so bad.
I am very happy that my brother and I were able to repair our relationship and that Melissa and I were able to leave the past in the past and start fresh. This is my family, and nothing or no one will ever break us apart, no matter how hard they try.
I am also very happy to have met Siggy Flicker. You won't find a more genuine person with such a big heart. Siggy is also one of the funniest women I have ever met, and I am so happy to have gotten so close to her, especially AFTER the season finale at Rails.
Siggy and I have definitely bonded and shared A LOT with one another, and I am happy to call her my friend for life.
What can I say about Dolores that you don't already know? Dolores and I go waaay back, and Dolores is someone who I have a tremendous amount of love and respect for.
I have enjoyed spending time with Siggy and Dolores in the months after the show wrapped, including a recent girls trip to Florida where we had a very deep and very honest conversation about certain people (you know who they are) who were obviously not to happy to see us smiling and laughing together.
You see, one of the things about being a Housewife, and a New Jersey Housewife in particular, is that most of the drama seems to happen behind the scenes when the cameras aren't around.
Someone once described being a Housewife to me as being one big chess game, and in many ways, I guess it is for some people, but not for me.
First of all, I don't play chess, and I don't play games. Whether you like it or not, with me, what you see is what you get.
When I was angry with Danielle, and I flipped that table, that was real, that was what I was feeling at that moment.
When I shoved Andy at the Season 2 reunion, that was real, that was what I was feeling at the moment.
In one of the moments from this season when all of the girls went to Crystal Springs, you see Jacqueline getting upset thinking about her son Nicholas, and you see me trying to console her by playing with her and talking to her.
That was genuine -- one mother trying to help another, one friend trying to be there for another.
I wish the show had more of that and less of the drama, but when some people are REAL and others play games, it's always bound to end up like we did at this year's reunion.
My relationship with Melissa is REAL. Trust me, after where we have been, neither one of us could or would fake it.
My relationship with Dolores is REAL and always has been. Dolores is one the realist women you will ever meet. I hope that as she gets more comfortable being a Housewife she speaks her mind a little more and doesn't hold back as much. When she does, you will know what I'm talking about.
My relationship with Siggy is REAL. She told me that certain people wanted her on the show to bring me down and that instead she fell in love with me. Why? Because I'm REAL.
My relationship with Jacqueline? For me, at one point, it was very real. I considered Jacqueline one of my very best girlfriends. Anyone who has watched the show knows that Jacqueline and I had a lot of laughs together as Lucy and Ethel.
But when the relationship went from being REAL to being part of some Housewives game that she was playing, where she actually set out to hurt my family, that's when and where it ended for me.
Think about this: Why was Chris talking to people that were trying to destroy my family? Why would he be involved with someone like that if he was friends with us? Why was Jacqueline so concerned about me not wanting a relationship with my cousins? That's my family, not hers, so why does she care so much? Why try as hard as she did at the reunion to come between Melissa and I?
This is someone who cares waaaay too much about what's going on, in and around my life and instead should focus more on what's going on in her own.
Going back to the season finale at Rails, there was so much tension and toxic energy in that room, and when Jacqueline got up and left, it was like the dark clouds went away and the sun came out. You could almost hear the birds chirping.
Once she was gone, Melissa, Dolores, Siggy and I laughed and had a really nice time together. In many ways, it was the perfect ending to such a roller coaster of a season.
I felt the need to say one more thing. Call it food for thought: There are a lot of times where I am made out to be the bad guy, the villain on the show. But think about it. If I am so bad, why are Siggy and Dolores going on vacation with me away when they don't have to? Why am I spending time, and lots of it, with my brother and Melissa, and our children, even when no one is watching? Why is it that I have maintained my relationship with Dina Manzo, Audriana's godmother, after all of these years. Just last week I had dinner with Rino, Teresa and Nicole from Season 6 in New York. I have reconnected with Danielle Staub and would love to see her back -- same goes for Rino and the twins.
The rest of them, I am going to take the high road here, but many times it's what you don't see that speaks the loudest about who is who and what is what.
Love love love you all,
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