Not my silverware sweetie, my diamonds! I’d just like to state for the record that I only got a nanny after having my fourth kid. And I have learned, through trial and error, which questions to ask during the interview process. I’ve had one rob from me once, and when the police officer was writing up the report, he asked me if I ever checked their background before I hired them to see if they had a record. I didn’t. I hired from an agency that I thought automatically did that. They didn’t. He asked me if I ever check their bags when they're leaving. I said no. The look of disappointment he gave me made me feel so embarrassed like it should have been an obvious thing. He gave me some advice. The police officer told me that if I was going to have people work in my home then I should always ask if they have any prior record, if they’ve ever been arrested, and also tell them that I will check their bag regularly when they leave. When I told him that I wasn’t sure if I’d have the guts to do that, he told me that I really didn’t have to do it. He told me to just tell them that during the interview process and just try to read their face. As humans, we all have somewhat of a sixth sense and can try to use that to read people or gain insight about them. And really, what I have is not really a nanny, it’s more like a housekeeper. I like to have someone clean and take care of the house so that I can be the best mom to my kids as I can be. I want to be the one to take my kids to activities and help them with their homework. Trust is something that comes with time. Do you know how many times I had one of my girlfriends ask me if my nanny was around to help watch their kids for an occasion because they claim their kids won’t stay with anyone else? But think of where that comfort feeling came from? It came from always being around my nanny and building trust, and that happens with time, not overnight. I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s not the silverware I’m concerned with - it’s my valuables in the house. I had my last engagement ring and wedding band stolen from my house - let’s see how you act when you have been violated like that. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way - Jackie said she either trusts people or she doesn’t. I used to enjoy that type of luxury until I got burned. But I don’t think she has a live-in nanny. If she were to ever get robbed, God forbid, she would definitely alter the way she handles things and even if she didn’t, I don’t really care. This has been my experience with having help, and I’ll do what I must to protect myself and my family. When you work at the makeup counter at a department store, they make you carry a clear Bag to make sure nothing gets stolen. When you work at Victoria’s Secret, they check your bag when you leave all the time. Oh, how offensive! How degrading! Or wait - maybe it’s not personal - maybe it’s just business. I’ve never actually done “bag check” on anyone. I just tell them that during their interview so I can see their reaction. I love my nanny - she is like family and I have never done a bag check on her! Ever!
And yes, I see how it looks like I’m bragging. Call me oblivious, but I can say with 100 percent certainty that I did not realize that it was coming out that way! I obviously see now that that’s what it seemed like and as an audience member, I agree! It seems like a lot of bragging. But in my head, when I was talking, I had no idea it was coming out that way! You guys have to understand, I just moved into my house six months before. It was still very new to me. And aside from my husband and kids, it was and still is one of the most relevant things in my life. So what do you do when you’re making new friends? You talk about what’s going on in your life. There’s a very fine line between bragging and talking about things that are new in your life, but that happens to be more than what the average person has. So then do I not get a say? Should I not talk about the things I have for the small chance that it might be more than what the person I’m talking to has and therefore be considered bragging? Who decides? People get a new car and post about it, as they should. They should be proud of their accomplishments. Who decides if it’s bragging or if it’s just someone being proud of what they have, and wanting to share that? I pinch myself every time I pull up to the house. It is not my normal. I can’t believe it’s mine. Do you want to know why I can’t believe it’s mine? News flash! Because I know I’m not any better than the average Joe. It’s because I know I’m not better, that I’m so grateful for it. And I want to share it...with my extended family, with my friends, with my kids' friends and their siblings! I’m not going to take it to the grave, and only God knows how long we’ll be on this earth. I’ve managed to experience a little piece of heaven on earth, but I’m not allowed to talk about it?! Maybe after I am living in it for five or six years, will I get over the novelty of it, but right now it is the most relevant thing going on in my life, and I am proud of it. I don’t think I’m better than anybody else. We all came from the same place, and we will all end up in the same place. The Chanel thing, for me, is the exception to the rule. The rule for me is to watch every penny, to avoid mindless spending, and to be extremely charitable. The Chanel is the only exception I had to this rule because I am a fan at the end of the day. Why is that so hard to understand?
At our dinner, from the outside looking in, and obviously knowing myself - I know why I said the things I said. And even though I see how it came out that way, I will tell you what was really happening from my perspective. When I started talking about my house, and I was talking about how I have bedrooms in the basement, I automatically thought to myself in my head “oh, these women are going to think, how gross, she puts her guests in the basement.” So, then I continued to say that the basement had 11 foot high ceilings. I truly wasn’t saying it to brag - I was saying it in case any of them were thinking, “who would put a guest in their basement.” And then when I realized that I said so much about my house on camera, my nerves got the better of me and I wanted to reiterate that I have cameras all over my house. I don’t know how it’s going to be, this being in the public eye thing. Once I realized that I was talking about my house a lot, I subconsciously got nervous that I may be a target for someone so I wanted to make sure the camera thing was clear. And the 16 bathroom thing was a reoccurring joke throughout the whole trip - the ladies poked fun at it, I poked fun at it, so many times that weekend. So when I said it in the car, I was saying it as a joke, and I was joking about it again when I invited Polly to stay at my house. I wasn’t joking about my invite for Polly, but I was joking about the 16 bathrooms. I decided to poke fun at something all of us were poking fun at all weekend. The “I got 16 bathrooms” comment was, what I felt, an obvious joke! Please note: The following content is NOT bragging! It’s stating facts:
The house has nine bedrooms and the architect told me that all of them had to be “en suite” to retain resale value and the master has two water closets so that makes 10 bathrooms right off the bat. The six remaining is divided between four floors. End of story! I never said I was better. I never said how much my Chanel or my house costs. I never said something as ugly as, "I’m rich!" There are richer people than me out there. I am talking about my new home which happens to be, in my eyes, amazing! Going to Oklahoma was out of my comfort zone. Everything I’ve pictured Oklahoma to be ended up being true. We were on a huge farm, we were in the middle of nowhere, and there were a lot of cows!
And how pretentious could I be if I care that the whole world knows I sh-- my pants! In my defense, it was a diet tea that I drank extra of because I didn’t think it was working and then once I was stuck on the LIE in gridlock traffic, the damned thing started to work - go figure!
And I would have loved it if Margaret knocked my teeth out! I was taught to always respect my elders, but I have no manners, remember?!
And my cul-de-sac backs up to a golf course - not a cemetery. The cemetery is four miles away. And it overlooks Manhattan, not Neiman Marcus. But I wouldn’t expect Margaret to know much about geography, so there’s no surprise there.
And when I said that alcohol was terrible, I didn’t mean the alcohol she was serving was terrible. I don’t drink alcohol very often. I don’t like the taste of any alcohol. Some, I can bear more than others, like tequila. But the bartender didn’t have tequila and gave me straight vodka, and that was my reaction. It wasn’t done intentionally to insult Polly. It was because I truly don’t like the taste of alcohol. And I may have generalized the country music statement. I like country music with vocals. I’m not too knowledgeable about it, but I do love and adore Taylor Swift. This music was more like generic folk music with no words. And not that it justifies my complaining, but for a while there, it slipped my mind that this was all hosted by Polly. For a minute there, I felt like we were at a bed and breakfast type place and that the party was hosted by some management team. It just didn’t click in my head that this was Polly’s party. As crazy as that sounds, it is my truth. For just a split second I forgot that we were at an actual person’s home, and just thought it was a group of women together at some vacation type place, and I didn’t realize how much my comments were insulting Polly. But once it was brought to my attention, I apologized for it. And the sunset comment was not to say mine was better! If you must use that analogy then I want to tell you that it wasn’t “who’s d--k is bigger”, it was “you like big d--ks, I got one too!”. I saw these girls were admiring a beautiful sunset and I wanted to share something that was just as beautiful! I may have one-upped her, but it was not meant to do that! Get over the f--kin sunset! And you can’t mention Oklahoma to someone from Jersey without hearing a cow tipping joke! It goes hand in hand. It’s not meant to be offensive. Sometimes I say things just to be funny and get a laugh from people. It doesn’t always work.