The 38 Best One-Liners from Montana | The Real Housewives of New York City Photos

Ramona: "Kristen wants to take all of us girls to a dude ranch in Montana. It's in the middle of no man's land, population zero. No night life, wide open spaces -- BO-RING!"

Ramona on appropriate travel footwear: "If I have to step into horse sh-- for five days, I am not going to be wearing my Giuseppe Zanottis."

On the airport
Carole: "There were more bears in the Missoula Airport than there were people. . ."
Ramona: "I just got off of a six hour flight, the last thing I’d like to see are dead animals stuffed in my face."
LuAnn: "It's just us and the mountains!"

Ramona: "This is it? I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere. Like they just plopped a house down like in 'The Wizard of Oz.'"

LuAnn on where to have confrontations: "We'll talk at the chuck wagon."

On the wagon
Sonja: "Do you have experience driving, sir? Or just horses?"
Ramona: "Wait, I need a car. I'm not going in some sled here. Are there cushion seats?"
Sonja: "Which turn for the glamorous place?"

Sonja on the accommodations and her travel partners: "Montana is a great place to go for privacy. The only problem is that I brought five girls with me. And no man. It sucks."

Sonja on the surrounding scenery: "There's a rock, right there. . .That's the hardest thing you’re going to see for five days."

Ramona on her favorite Montana activities: "I'm just gonna be drinking all day and night. Otherwise I'll be bored."

Sonja on her prospects in Montana: "I had a squirrel trying to get in my room last night. I almost made out with him."

Carole on the men: "I've never had a cowboy phase, but I am diversifying my portfolio."

Sonja on packing for a ride: "What do I need on the horse? My phone?"

Sonja: "I'm enjoying this. Me and the horse. I'm a Sagittarius. I'm half man and I'm half horse and I am back in the saddle."

Sonja on getting out more: "I wanna see where people go in Missoula. I wanna see where Will Smith goes."

Ramona on her ideal temperature and Carole's A/C preferences: "It's like 100 degrees. I'm not like 32 years old anymore, I'm like a little up there. I want cool air. People die in the heat."

Ramona: "The worst part of fly fishing is the outfit. . .I look like humpty dumpty"
Sonja: "Every last egg I had just froze."

LuAnn on Sonja: "Sonja seems to have a stick up her ass. Correction, I think it's the whole tree."

Carole on her hiking wardrobe: "This is my walking in the woods dress."

LuAnn on choosing activities: "I'm thinking hanging off the side of a cliff is much better than being around Sonja with guns."

Sonja on their shooting instructor: "I dunno what it is about this cowboy Paul, but he is hotter than Montana in August. Now I wouldn't mind playing kissin' cousins with this man. That's one loaded rifle."

Sonja on geocaching: "I don't know what geocaching is! It's just another punishment!"

Carole on the group's chances of survival: "We’d be dead if we were pioneers."

Sonja on the help: "Do you have big cowboys giving the massages?"

Sonja on Montana's wardrobe requirements: "I'm jeaned out! No more jeans! Stop jean-ing me!"
And also Sonja: "They wear Wrangler too. They don't even wear Levi's. It's definitely Wrangler."

Kristen on the rodeo crowd: "Ya, we're a little overdressed. . ."

Kristen on important lessons: "I get it now! Throwing sharp objects makes these women happy! I wish I knew that at the beginning of the trip!"

Ramona on hatchet throwing: "It felt like a scary B movie when someone comes after you with a hatchet."

Kristen on the group's activity preferences: "Ramona seems relaxed, Carole just flashed a squirrel and where’s Sonja? Oh, Sonja's talking to some cowboys, duh!"

Ramona on the tallest man she'd ever seen: "He's like as tall as going up to the clouds!"

Kristen on the trip: "This trip has been filled with once in a lifetime moments. Seeing the Countess in a portapotty? Priceless."

Recap: Bears, Brats and Hatchets