I am SO excited about being the guest ringmaster at The Big Apple Circus. My family used to go to New York City every Thanksgiving for the Macy’s parade, shopping, and the circus. I have so many wonderful memories of being there with my sister Dabney, my mom, and with my dad, the most adorable man ever. He was always so much fun and never without a huge smile on his face. During those years, one would never imagine the illness that would grip him suddenly the last eight years of his life.
Dorinda was so good on the trapeze and certainly eased my fears about climbing up that ladder at The Big Apple Circus. I am still nervous about opening night when I have to come down from the Big Top on the hoop and very emotional thinking about being there years ago with my dad. Still, I can’t wait!
Surprisingly, Luann has really been a good listener about my father. She has been very sensitive to the anger I still feel towards my dad and has helped me see his problem in another light. Al-Anon was a great start, but I’m not sure it's for me. This situation is something I will need some time to work on.
Well, yes, it’s true. Scott and I did break up. I know the ladies don’t really believe it since this has happened so many times before, but I really think I have to move on. I have been hanging in there, because I really believed Scott loved me and wanted to be married to me and have a family. I can’t live with regrets and will give every situation my all, hanging on until the last second, so it’s difficult for me to let this go when I continued to believe that Scott and I would make a great couple. But it’s time. As Bethenny said, I’m living in dog years now as far as my reproductive life is concerned, and as my mother reminds me constantly, I have no time to lose.
See you next week!