Housewives on the Loose

Lo and behold, Naturally Thin soared to number 3 on the New York Times Bestseller List which is astounding, incredible and a dream come true. Thank you all so much. You have been so supportive, and it means the world to me.

Kelly realized how absurd and self-involved she appeared, so her attempt to save face was to donate a portrait with her ex-husband. The charity was back in October. Jill and the charity are still trying to chase Kelly and her ex down to fulfill the promise to no avail. Ironically, I offered up my ex-boyfriend Kevin (the one Kelly and I referenced in the "smackdown" scene) to fill in and do the shoot.

I thought it was very nice that Alex made an effort to re-create my logo. Skinnygirl margaritas will be in stores in June (www.skinnygirlcocktails.com) and I didn't use the logo Alex designed. I went with a much sleeker, more chic, upscale logo. Check it out at the Skinnygirl website. The final cocktail is phenomenal, all natural and has 96 calories a serving (less than a glass of white wine!)

I am not a fan of the I love Simon van Kempen Facebook club. The fans have been easier on them because Jill and I have been much nicer to them, but their desperation and delusion never ceases to amaze any of us. What they do on and off camera in a failed attempt to get ahead is incredible.

Truthfully, I love Jill's apartment. It is lavish and comfortable, and most importantly: IT IS JILL! So I have to love it because I love her. I am minimalist, I hate stuff, and as I said, I could and probably should live in a white padded cell. Brad did a great job. I kid because I love.

Simon is so incredibly revolting that I thought Ramona's reaction would be priceless. Plus Mario was so overly intense about this match that I thought it would disarm him.

I would do anything for a good laugh, so the Simon spoiler killed me, especially having to endure Simon's legs, outfit and horrendous athletic inability.

I never did meet Justin, Jill's original tennis partner for the match. I've never dated an athlete, and tennis isn't really my thing. Maybe next summer I'll take lessons and partner with Jill.

LuAnn definitely took a hit during her scene at the Boys and Girls Club and I don't think she realized how she came off. She is having a rough few months and needs a break.

This past weekend was the Bravo A-List Awards in LA, and I had the distinct pleasure of meeting all of the housewives. Yup, Atlanta and OC too.It was a weekend of a lot of wigs and a lotta weave. Here were the highlights: Kim is larger than life, off the rails, I don't give an F, I drink, I smoke, my rack is hanging out, so stick it. Good TV for sure. Sheree was shockingly quiet, understated, nice and seemingly drama free (her flaming cling on gay glam friend notwithstanding). Lisa was tiny and peppy and sweet. Gretchen is bubbly and giggly and a stereotypically ditzy blonde, but truthfully, she seemed sweet on the surface as well. The fact that she's dating Slade is too absurd to discuss, so I'll let the viewers decide if he makes it next season. The blondes from OC have the most boobs and hair and lashes and Lynne made a funny comment that she could carve her initials in her face.

Where were the cameras? Truthfully, for a group of 13 women, I have to say, we played along very nicely. As for the husbands, except Simon Barney, most of them are wallflowers, and I'm not sure if George even speaks.

Freud would have a field day with this - Lauri "accidentally" sprayed Gretchen with her own personal airbrushing machine and her red carpet dress (which was half white) now had tan on it. She handled it surprisingly well.

What also made me laugh was the number of groupie entourage peeps these broads hung with. New Yorkers are independent. Ramona and I rolled solo while Atlanta and the OC had hair, makeup, friends, artists, drivers, bodyguards - you name it.The fact that my cast is way more subtle is truly astounding in and of itself.

Until next week. More drama with Kelly and Jill in the next few episodes.

B