I never start up trouble -- I think that people should stand up for themselves when they are being spoken down to. I'm very strong and independent therefore I speak up for myself and others if need be. I don't have fights, per se, but rather situations where I can reach conclusions and truces while shedding light on circumstances and learning from them.
I took in the "pecking order" and other obscure comments that Sonja projected at me during our tea to dissolve and really try to rationalize why she was saying this. If I had been just as aggressive towards her we would have been arguing for hours, in circles, a constant battle (I definitely didn't have time for this).
I get it! I was the new gal in the group and sometimes personalities and emotions clash, but to get anything resolved you have to look at the entire picture and be somewhat understanding of who you are dealing with. I really wanted to take care of our situation at another time and not react to every single jab she threw at me, but unfortunately I had E-N-O-U-G-H, as anyone would have too! Thankfully, at the end of the day we were able to resolve all of our problems, by having an adult conversation and being, what seems to be "genuine" about our apologies to one another. Now if only Ramona everyone took the same advice and let each other speak about their differences and emotions and come to the light at the end of the tunnel we might all be friends or at least respectful of one another.
Always take a closer look at the situation, from your side and your "opponent's," you might not only keep a friend but you might actually learn something about yourself! People's feelings are their feelings; you have to understand them because they come from deeper places. Accept it or move on that you both have differences. There are far too many important things in the world to deal with other than harping on situations that are not too serious in the scheme of things.