Well I certainly left in the nick of time. Turks was the trip that never ended. I'm renaming it #JerksinCaicos
So Carole gave me the recap that the Countess is back. I respectfully disagree. The old "uncool" countess doesn't say, "Be cool" when naked men are throughout the house. Luann's only issue was that she felt her friends were ratting her out trying to catch her doing something. Her issue wasn't that she was trying to hide whatever took place for the eight hours prior to that moment. There is an important distinction. I like this Cool Countess way better. In a way, I'm the old Countess because I’m Switzerland on this one. I get being alarmed by a naked man, albeit not to the point of dramatic sobbing. I also get Luann's perspective. Phew. I dodged a bullet on that trip by leaving.
And while it was crazy, I came back liking everyone. Hell, I'd be crazy enough to go away with them again. Maybe it's me who has changed.
That Dorinda dinner was nuts. They all curse like drunken sailors, and Luann acted like some innocent prayer circle girl. I totally got what Heather was saying and was backing her up. Dorinda likes to get sauced up as much, if not more, than her saucy Housewife friends, and late at night she gets sensitive, paranoid, and lashes out. This is what happened here. You have to just ignore it and move on. Of course karma or irony got in the way one episode after Dorinda told us in her interview that she drinks with the rest of us but she stops. I love you, D, but I hold everyone and myself accountable and that is simply untrue.
Glad to see her and Heather work it out. The Berkshires is too small for two frenemy Housewives.
Thankfully, we made it back to New York to a jeans party where we can potentially stab each other with ice picks, which Luann and Heather wanted to do to each other, staple gun each other, which Dorinda and Heather almost did, and hot glue gun each others’ mouths, which I almost did to Kristen. I'm sensitive to people commenting about me in the press. I have enemies to do that. I don't tolerate it from people that I know. My issue was that Kristen acts as if she is very green to this process when that isn't accurate. She has done many interviews and been on many red carpets. What she said in quotes wasn't kind. I read it, and I know its context. This happens to be something I do have a lot of experience with. Glad we could move on.
I Suck at Relationships: http://bit.ly/1GlkutZ
Skinnygirl Official: https://www.facebook.com/SkinnygirlBrand