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Sonja: I Never Felt Ramona Understood My Pain

Sonja explains why she felt so hurt by Ramona and Dorinda's conversation.

By Sonja Morgan

I was shocked when Luann said our relationship has been deteriorating for two years. This comes as a big surprise to me, since everything was cool with her and I until I saw her at the reunion for Season 6. I know who put what in her head.

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We were together having a ball, for example, at the Season 6 Sonja In the City Premiere Party at Tokya! We spent time on the plane back from Montana and on the bike ride that you all saw on the show and never did she mention to me that she was bickering and having problems with her boyfriend Jacque. Had I known that, I would’ve had the inkling that she was very sensitive during this time period, and I would have known that everything was not hunky-dory for Luann as she held this secret inside.

In hindsight, I see why she was very worried about what the facialist Satoko had to say, even though she really had nothing to worry about. It was all just silly as Kristen pointed out that we were joking and taking a lot of self-deprecating hits ourselves from Satoko’s joshing.

I also see why Luann was worried about me asking her what she had done with Harry (before I confronted Harry about his lack of commitment by leaving me at the party), because she was obviously in a tenuous situation with Jaques and more then she let on.

I felt like her, Carole, and Kristen ganged up on me, and Heather was showing me no support, either. I’m glad she invited me to her homewarming party, because I miss our friendship and the trust level we shared, which she states she feels as well!

It’s pretty funny to hear Ramona apologizing to Luann and to hear Luann showing concern for Ramona’s separation from Mario after all the criticism she has taken from Ramona regarding her divorce and marriage before that. I felt bad the way it looked when I had lunch at Nello’s with Ramona, but I had a thorn in my side about how critical Ramona was not only to Luann but also to my ensuing divorce. That’s exactly why I invited Luann and not Ramona when I took down the painting of my ex-husband. I never felt that Ramona understood how painful it was to go through divorce, and she was very quick to judge and to say if Luann and I had done things properly (and anyone, in fact, that listens to marriage advice when she was bragging about her perfect marriage and life) we would still have a husband, and it just doesn’t work that way unfortunately. Men will be men no matter how great a wife or mother you are, as she’s finding out now.

When I met with Ramona for lunch, I couldn’t help bring up my side. I thought we could bond again over that, especially since she wasn’t sharing her story with me. I think she was embarrassed and needed her space to try to make it work. Her isolating herself over the summer hurt my feelings even more since we shared everything.

Ramona Is Putting On a Brave Face

But I was wrong thinking this would bond us back together by sharing my similar pain. She quickly changed the subject. If you thought that was entertaining, you should see the rest of the lunch. We spent a lot of time talking about Ramona and her daughter, Avery. Maybe it'll be in lost footage! I was definitely licking my own wounds. Maybe that’s why Ramona didn’t want to share with me. Because she knew she had admonished me in the past and now she was walking in my same shoes.

I have to said I was hurt that she could share everything in private with Dorinda instead of meeting HER at restaurant as if she was her best friend when she never even had seen HER apartment before. I can’t tell you how many times Ramona has just dropped into my house and jumped into my bed or helped herself to my refrigerator and dropped in for dinner with my daughter. So to say I am narcissistic from that one isolated moment within a moment at lunch with her at a noisy restaurant is unfair. Furthermore, I don’t appreciate her telling Dorinda, who was just getting to know me better, that I’m not a good friend, because that’s simply not true. That hurt. In fact, Ramona straight up tells me that she won’t have my back when girls go on attack about my businesses and legal case.

I know my facialist Satoko now for over a decade. She really is very good at what she does, and I also find her very entertaining. I found out from the viewers that they do, too! Including HBO’s John Oliver when we were guests on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. He said she should get her own show! LOL! As Kristen said, it's hard to find a good facialist! I do so much of my work out of my house, so I love that Satoko makes house calls. I can make conference calls and work with my interns side-by-side at the same time as getting my facial. Not very relaxing, but it’s the only way I can cram everything into one day and have time for my daughter after school and for dinner each night.

Hopefully this season you guys (the viewers) will get to see more of me designing and meeting in my showroom. Or me doing my podcasts, some of my appearances, and definitely see some more Sonja In the City events.

Ramona says Dorinda shares her experience of loss, yet keeps smiling. I feel I do that. I don’t bring my baggage to the parties and get-togethers with the girls. They always ask and pry. Then it bites me in the ass that I shared, especially after my Chapter 11 made everything so public. They just keep sticking their noses in my business.

I know the girls are much more sophisticated about what they read in the newspapers, especially Page Six. In this episode, you hear from Bethenny, in fact, that it’s hard to read about yourself, because they don’t sell papers based on good news they exploit. Do you think the article about Bethenny being on stage with Jamie Fox twerking mentioned that he pulled her up on stage?! No, of course not! They say he looked awkward and uninterested. There’s always a publicist who is being paid to highlight the other person or the person’s business, charity, or event. My trainer Toni Fillipone, who we will see in upcoming episodes, met Patti Lupone at a Cabaret in Philadelphia. Cabarets are intimate experiences at small venues with pricey tickets where you can meet the performer. That’s the whole point of going to a cabaret. The interaction. I’m not going to apologize for my conversation that I did not initiate.

Dorinda’s daughter is a breath of fresh air. I love her non-apologetic attitude for her excess and love of luxury.

Dorinda and John's dry cleaner is so funny. I don’t even have a budget for dry cleaning. I hand wash everything. Besides, everything I sent came back with a sticker saying "Oops, we couldn’t remove this stain." Madame Paulette is the best and where I sent my wedding dress to be preserved. I also find John refreshing. He is very sweet and loving.

I definitely see a change in Bethenny from before her divorce. I see a lot of myself in her and what she is going through is familiar. I know that changing your residence, looking for new office space, and going through divorce are three factors on the top ten life stressors. I’m sure to some viewers it appears like “What is this lady complaining about? She has a presidential suite at the Essex Hotel!” But I can tell you from experience when I renovated my townhouse, I was living in the best hotel, and it’s not the same as having roots. It’s very unsettling, even with all the service that luxury hotels offer.

Let's see on “As Stomach Turns” what happens next!

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