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If there's one requirement for a Real Housewives trip it's this: There must be a kerfuffle over the picking of rooms. And perhaps no franchise exemplifies this better than The Real Housewives of New York City.
Need a refresher? Here are some historical highlights: Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan's annual insistence that their bed sharing makes them most deserving of the best room, the drama that ensued after Bethenny Frankel's random room game during Season 9's Tequila, Mexico trip, and the now-infamous fish room debacle in Season 11's stay at Dorinda Medley's Berkshires home.
This week, it was Ramona's turn to play hostess with the mostess as the ladies headed to her Hamptons house for a weekend getaway. Wanting to avoid a repeat of last season's fish room situation, in which Luann de Lesseps was highly displeased with her room assignment, Ramona tried to get ahead of things and offer her pal "a nice room."
"I have a room — you know you can choose — but I do have a room that [has] a big, separate bathroom, its own entrance," Ramona told Luann on a night out over Diet Cokes.
"Listen, I don't need to be favored, you know," interjected the cabaret star.
And the story ends there and everyone happily slept in their assigned beds. JK.
Fast forward to the arrival at the Hamptons and — surprise, surprise — Luann's exclusive bedroom is not exactly what she envisioned.
"Is this the basement?" Luann asked as Ramona led her down the stairs.
"It's the lower level," Ramona clarified.
Luann: "Ok. We're calling it the lower level. Ok."
So what exactly is the lower level like? The sleeping quarters, complete with private bathroom, are decorated with a tufted headboard, trendy mirrored furniture, and a display of fresh sunflowers. According to Ramona, the downstairs suite's amenities include a "big TV to hang out" and lots of "privacy." Added Ramona, "You can always sneak in a guy there at night, no one will know... It's quiet, so if we're up late and Sonja and Tinsley are going crazy until 2 in the morning playing crazy music..." Valid point.
Luann, on the other hand, had a different opinion: "Give me a break. A basement is a basement," she scoffed. "It's like putting me in the attic and calling it 'the penthouse.'" Also on her list of grievances: it's too cold, the TV doesn't work, and (as she told Tinsley) it reminds her of a "kiddie room downstairs."
This all leads Luann to conclude, "I'm always last on the totem pole when it comes to rooms when we go on vacations together."
How does it all end? According to the teaser for next week's episode, this fiasco is just getting started: "You proclaim you love me but I know that's not true," reads an email from Luann, who has apparently left the building. "Good night from the lower level!"
Tune in Thursday April 16 at 9/8c to see!
Want more The Real Housewives of New York City? New episodes air every Thursday at 9/8c or catch up on this season through the Bravo app.
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