My comments this week center around the immediate response to the dune buggy crash as we tried to understand how Tamra and Vicki were doing, then our attempts to notify Meghan and Shannon and solicit their support for Vicki, and then finally holding Meghan and Shannon accountable for how they handled the situation with Vicki in her time of need.
Now, months after that accident, I am pleased to say that we all survived it without persistent injuries. For that we are truly blessed. The repercussions from the accident were really bad, but we all know it could have been so much worse.
Throughout the weekend and the days that followed I felt terrible for Tamra. Of course she was distraught and was apparently suffering from shock and possibly a concussion. She was obviously feeling terribly guilty for being the driver when the accident happened. She also was contemplating what might have happened if, except for the grace of God, one or more of us had been killed or permanently disabled. To be clear, Tamra did everything she could and used her best judgment when piloting the dunes. What happened was a freak situation.
The calls that we made to Meghan and later to Shannon were shocking to us. Wow, we were surprised how little empathy they had for Vicki. Heather and I knew Vicki didn’t have a purse or a change of clothes. I was just expecting them to go over there to see if she perhaps needed anything.
You are probably wondering why we didn’t drive four hours to get to the hospital in Palm Springs. I did plead with the helicopter crew to accompany Vicki on the flight to the hospital, but there was no room. As for driving there, I was still shaken up and not up for a three to four hour car trip. In addition, it would have taken us hours to pack up our campsite. From our conversations with Vicki we believed she would have been released before we reached her. I just felt really bad that she was by herself.
Meghan understood that we wanted her and/or Shannon to visit Vicki and be there in her time of need. They were close by. It would have been easy for them. While she professed later to not understand the severity of the accident, in my view anytime someone has to be life-flighted from an accident it tells you all you need to know.
We all know that a crisis often brings people together. We see all the time in natural disasters. Not only do the people directly impacted pull together, but strangers often far removed from the tragedy donate their time, money and effort to help people recover. It’s called human decency.
As you see from this episode, Heather, Vicki, Tamra and I became much closer and shared the bond of that harrowing experience. You see our bond and camaraderie throughout the episode.
At the time we placed the first call to Meghan, to ask her to make the relatively short trip over to the hospital to support Vicki, I thought that Meghan and Vicki's relationship was in a better place since she attended Vicki’s birthday party. They got along well there and left the party on good terms. So, why the reluctance to go see Vicki during her time of need?
I hate to say it, but in that moment, I was embarrassed to call Meghan my friend based upon how she reacted to Vicki being injured in the crash.
I also don’t understand why Meghan took so long to tell Shannon about the accident and Vicki being life-flighted to Palm Springs?
Given my rocky relationship with Shannon from the start, I wasn’t surprised in the least that Shannon would have little empathy for Vicki because it seems she can’t let go of the grudge she has towards her.
So, by now its well documented that Meghan and Shannon decided to snub Vicki.
Meghan is a smart woman. She did the math and realized she had screwed up. As Heather said, Meghan tried to do some cleanup and a little revisionist history. In the process, she wisely went to visit Vicki to lend support and apologize. Vicki is always straightforward, sometimes to a fault, so she naturally asked Meghan the tough questions that needed to be asked, then being the gracious person she is, accepted Meghan’s apology.
Then, and I don’t understand this...when Meghan meets with Heather at Surf and Sand, she seemingly reverts back to the stance she had prior to apologizing to Vicki. Huh? Meghan was shooting the messenger by saying that, in those first few calls from us, Heather was patronizing, animated and theatrical. I don’t understand why she felt she had to offend Heather before apologizing?
As you have seen, I have my own issues. I screw up a lot. So for me, with my family and friends apologies are heartfelt, but not difficult. I am not sure why it’s so hard for some people to apologize and move on.
As you can see, at this juncture, after the crash, Tamra, Heather, Vicki and I have all bonded and we are in a good place.