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Shannon Beador: David's Mother Was Not Telling the Truth
"...when I later heard she also blamed me for the affair, I lost it."
I really have no words for this episode. So much is going on. I have to be out of our house in less than a week and I haven’t packed a thing. The girls’ band, LOCK - Ladies of Rock, is going to perform an original song. I haven’t had more than a few hours of sleep each night. I am under a lot of stress. And to top it off, my mother-in-law punches me in the gut with her words.
It may sound like packing isn’t that difficult when the buyer keeps the furniture, but the furniture is the big, easy stuff! I have a 13,500 square foot home with closets and drawers in each room that are stuffed to the brim! It is very overwhelming and my goal is to purge as much as I can before we move so I don’t have to double up and pack things we will be getting rid of.
The ladies offered to come to help me pack and I thought that may be a fun way to start the process. They clearly had opinions about what I should get rid of! I have held onto a lot of clothes because I have the space. But in our new home, there are much smaller closets so I am up for some purging!
I asked Kelly over because life is too short to hold onto grudges. Who knows how long it would have continued had I not invited her. Let’s just move on.
My daughters have been in a band for the last three years. They have named themselves LOCK, Ladies of Rock. Stella says that she might want to be a drummer in her future, but Sophie and Adeline are just having fun playing together. The girls’ music teacher Sterling wrote an original song for the girls and I am so excited for them to perform it! David and I heard the song for the first time at the studio and we were so impressed and proud! We were both teasing the girls that they had to “rock it out” and have attitude on stage when they performed. Just giving encouragement out of love!
On the day of the performance, the girls had their hair and make-up done for the first time. We were all so excited! I loved the scene of the girls outside before they came on stage! They were pumping themselves up and it was so cute to watch! I can’t tell you how proud I am of my daughters! It is nerve wracking to get up in front of a crowd like that and perform! The girls have been practicing every day since then and sound incredible today! The show definitely motivated them! They are going to record their song “Dreamcatcher” soon and put it on iTunes which I think it pretty darling!!!
I had no idea my mother-in-law was coming to the performance. My children do not have a close relationship with their grandmother. A year and a half ago, my mother-in-law told my daughters that I wasn’t a good mother among other things. They were very upset because no child wants to hear negative things about their mother.
I still have a hard time processing the fact that David’s mother said I pushed him to an affair. It is unbelievable to me that such a statement would be made on a night that was all about my children and was also two weeks after a vow renewal that my husband planned all on his own. David’s mother knew that. To me, making the comment not only disrespected me, but it also disrespected David and my children. It is so mind boggling that David’s mother chose my daughters’ big night to bring up such a subject and to bring it up to strangers. She had never met Kelly and Tamra before.
The bottom line is that David’s mother was not telling the truth. I do not keep her from my children. She never calls to try and make plans. We saved a seat for her and one of David’s sisters for Sophie’s 8th grade play, and they didn't show up. She spent Easter with my daughters two weeks earlier when we were on our “second honeymoon.” At least once a month I would bring up the fact that David and the kids hadn’t seen his mother since Christmas. I didn’t want her to ever say that I was keeping the children from her. I guess it didn’t matter because she said it anyway.
When I first heard that my mother-in-law was bad mouthing me to Kelly, I was calm. I didn’t want to make an issue of it and didn’t even give it life with David. But when I later heard she also blamed me for the affair, I lost it. I am glad that Tamra told me what happened with my mother-in-law. She is one of my best friends and I would expect her to tell me right away. I am not proud of myself that I got so upset, but I am human. I want to be clear that I was not yelling at David, I was yelling at the situation. I said “Are you f***ing kidding me?” and “I’m f***ing done”, but I never directed any of my statements to David.
It was very sweet of David to defend me because I have made huge efforts with his family in our 18 year relationship. I wanted him to tell the truth, not to say something just to appease me. Sometimes men just say things to make you happy, but it was very important to me that if he said anything to the group that it came from the heart and was true.
When the night was over, the kids told us in the limo that my mother-in-law went up to each of them individually to say that no matter what happened that night, she still loved them. David and I certainly did not bring up the conversation. This showed us that David’s mother had a premeditated plan and it wasn’t a nice one. I am just upset that my fuse was short with no sleep and that she got some satisfaction — at least for one night. And it truly is a real shame because her two or three sentences have completely ripped a family apart.
The one positive thing that came out of Monday’s episode was that my children had a ball and LOCK is practicing and improving every day. They are writing new songs and it is exciting as a mother to see them passionate about a new and fun project!
We are moving in the next episode so you will get to see one the most stressful days of my life (as if the Blue Beet wasn’t one of them...)! See you then!
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