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There is so much going on this episode for me, I don’t know where to begin.
I truly thought that we were all going to have a fun and light-hearted afternoon at Ava’s 2nd birthday party, but unfortunately I felt completely ambushed. A person that I had just met for the first time would not stop talking about Vicki. I felt like Lydia clearly had an agenda when it came to meeting me and that was to create drama. Mission accomplished, Lydia.
And for the cherry on top, Lydia said, “Why would Tamra be friends with someone like this?” She has the audacity to question a four year relationship after one very short exchange with me? Absurd, vicious, and ludicrous are a few words that come to mind. Oh, and the phrase, pot stirring.
Before I even dive in to discuss my visit to Dr. Tim’s, I have to begin by saying he is nothing but the most positive influence and a huge support on my journey to better health. We have been good friends for the last five years and have the type of relationship where he can say “wow” when I expose my weight gain. It didn't bother me at all because he was stating the truth, and the truth is exactly what I needed to finally start motivating myself to change. He has been nothing but an amazing cheerleader for me in a time when I was constantly down on myself.
Watching the scene with Dr. Tim was very difficult. Hearing my actual weight and body fat percentage made it really sink in. I never thought that I would be having a conversation with anyone about my high body fat and being at serious risk for major health concerns. I need to be around for my children and the family I fought so hard to keep together. 172 pounds??? I never imagined I would see a 150 in my lifetime, let alone a 160 or 170.
I would like to be clear once again. I am the only one responsible for gaining 40 pounds. I am the only one who let ridiculous people and words get under my skin. I am the only one that said, “F*** it” and ate and drank whatever I wanted. I’m still kicking myself for some of the choices I made, but everything happens for a reason. Through the difficult process, I am learning again that I am a strong person that can accomplish any goals I set if I work hard and am committed.
Now onto the big bang of the episode at The Quiet Woman. I was set up with David for the first time at The Quiet Woman 20 years ago. We announced our engagement there. It’s one of those places that holds so many happy memories for me. And now, a not so happy one.
I find it incredulous that Lydia said, “I invited my friend Kelly, but she doesn’t get along with Tamra and Shannon.” If Lydia knew that was the case, then why would she invite Kelly to dinner, especially a dinner that Tamra and I had planned? And then to call her on the way to the restaurant to tell her the Quiet Woman once again? I think the phrase pot stirring works well in this situation as well.
The Quiet Woman dinner was supposed to be a fun and “last hurrah” before the diet started. I live blocks from Kelly Dodd and never saw her in a six month period ever, so I was caught off guard when I saw her. When she walked into the bathroom I was at a loss for words so I just started telling her about my earlier meeting with Dr. Tim. I’m not happy I spoke so much about my weight gain, and all I can say was that I had a difficult and emotional day and it was the main thought in my brain at the time.
To the comments made by Kelly: A lot of people now say that it is Kelly’s pattern to hit below the belt. That doesn’t mean it is right. It’s quite bothersome to see the smile on Kelly’s face when she basically says she enjoys “pushing my buttons” and seeing me “go off the rails.” That’s just not nice.
Did I overreact at the Quiet Woman? Yes. Was my crying unwarranted? Yes. Was my language completely inappropriate? Yes. Should I have been calmer? Yes. Am is embarrassed? Yes. I wish I would have carried myself in a different way, but I can’t change what happened. I do regret my behavior and have definitely learned from my mistakes of the night.
I think it’s quite possible that next week’s episode does not feature any crying on my part or me repeating the phrase, “I’m done.” But you never know.
Until next episode…XOXO
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