Reality Check

Hi Friends,

OK, now we can breathe! The season is over! Thank goodness!! I didn't get a chance to blog last week because of my family passing around a cold, and because of all the press that has been occurring for the end of the season. Sorry I took a break, but I'm back!

Two weeks ago was the episode of my mom getting her eye-lift. I have to say, she looks AMAZING! She is so thrilled with the results, and so thankful for Dr. Niccole.

This episode was difficult for me to watch because of two reasons: #1) It appeared that I was the one who wanted my mother to do this surgery, which couldn't be further from the truth. My mother had been asking me about this surgery for over three years. And #2) I cannot believe the comment I made about Missouri. For goodness sakes, Missouri is my home state! I NEVER intended it to come across the way it did when I heard that statement, and honestly, I cringed when I watched it. I was so mad at myself that I truly thought of sending a hate blog to myself! LOL. There is no excuse for ever making a comment like that. My only point was that when I was growing up, everyone made fun of me because I fake-baked, dyed my hair and wore makeup. That is definitely not to say that all of Missouri women are plain. Three of my best girlfriends still live there and they are BEAUTIFUL, outside and inside.

I loved growing up in Missouri. I lived on a street with tons of friends. We climbed in tree houses, played ball, crossed the creek to go to the toy store ... I truly feel blessed to have grown up there. Missouri is a simpler way of life. That's not an insult, it's just the truth. The towns are a lot smaller, and further apart, and people do not seem to over-commit and busy themselves the way they do here in California. The fact is that Missouri is less populated, and less big cities mean more time to focus only on true friends and family.

Speaking of family, my mother and I are very close, she is one of my best friends. She is the one person that I know will keep me grounded, and she will ALWAYS find the positive in a negative. She smiles, laughs, and sings all day long. She is truly an inspiration to me, and I wish I could be more like her. She is very laid back, and just all-around happy. Although my mom and I are different in many ways, she has instilled in me to always try to find the best in everyone, to look at a glass as half full instead of half empty, and to appreciate a dollar and work hard for it. I am thankful for both of my parents. My father passed away October 2008, but he was much the same as my mom in the fact that he too was laid back and just a cool person. He was the sweetest man I have ever known to this date. I was raised in a family where we put each other first, we ate dinner together every night, we spent every holiday with our extended family. This is what life is truly about. Family. Nothing else really matters. Jim and I are raising our family the same way. I get more excited about having all of our family over to my house on Christmas than I do when Jim surprises me with a trip or jewelry. I just love that feeling of having everyone laying around watching sports, or listening to music, drinking egg nog, and playing games. There really isn't anything that compares to that moment. To me, THAT defines life. I may enjoy the finer things in life, but give me a choice and I would have it all disappear if it meant I could never have the meaning of family.

So now let's talk about the finale show. First of all, thank you to all of you who loved my dress. It's by a designer called Tal Sheyn. As for the comment about Jim and I looking like Dancing with the Stars...that was a compliment to me. It's my dream to be on that darn show! I want to dance sooooo badly! It's not something that comes easily to me, so the opportunity to actually learn how to do it thrills me! I think I have convinced my hubbie to take lessons with me over the summer. I HOPE! He can move, that man knows how to dance! Now I just need to learn!

I thought Gretchen and Slade looked so cute! I kept joking with them that he needed to propose to her at the final BBQ, so when I saw their outfits, I was completely sure it was going to happen. But like all of you, I was disappointed because that didn't happen! Oh well, maybe next summer!

Lynne's daughters apparently had too much to drink before arriving at the party. I somehow missed out on all of that drama, because I didn't even hear about it until Raquel and Alexa were already gone! I guess I was busy keeping men off my gorgeous new mom! Haha. Seriously though, I feel for Lynne and Frank. I know it's not easy raising teens, but if those two had been my daughters, I would have put them back in the limo and driven home, called a babysitter and had them locked in their rooms until I got home! I am not looking forward to those teenage years!

My favorite moment this season was the reunion show. At that point, I had finally watched all the episodes, seen people's true colors, and had ammunition ready to go. In a strange way, it was a very freeing feeling to know what everyone had said, and knowing I would have the opportunity to address everyone for their comments.

Looking back on this season, I have learned so much about myself. It's hard to watch yourself on TV because it's a huge reality check. The biggest lesson I have learned is that I have to truly be careful about what I say. Things can be so misconstrued. I talk fast, instead of slowly thinking about what to say. Many times, it didn't come out the way it was intended. So with that said, moving forward I will definitely choose my words more carefully. I also learned that it's OK to not be friends with everyone. I refuse to get caught up in the name calling and gossiping, so that is all I will say about that. Life is too short, and one thing my mom reminded me of is that "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." I have to agree with her. Although I was mad at myself for numerous episodes this season, I am thankful to have been given the opportunity to watch myself. You think you are one way, but then you see yourself on TV and it is apparent how you really are. Now I can make the changes necessary to move more towards the type of person I want to be. I don't understand how someone can have an opportunity like this and still be the same person five years later. I am thankful for all of you, who take the time to write to me and point out the positive with the negative. I look at the constructive criticism and know that I have areas where I can improve. This has been an amazing year for me!

If you are visiting Southern California, come stay with Jim and I at our boutique hotel in Laguna Beach, In Vogue. Visit us at Invoguelagunabeach.com. For beauty tips or a beauty consult with me, please visit Cosmeticare.com!

xoxo, Alexis