Taking the High Road

Welcome back. Well, after watching this week's episode, I've had a gut ache that just won't go away and still hasn't. It's terrible to watch scenes that you are not in, and how people feel the need to talk badly about you when you are not there. Makes you never want to leave a room doesn't it?

When we initially planned for the trip to be a "girls" trip, it was planned during the week and I thought really nothing of it that the guys weren't invited. I had no idea it was going to turn into such a problem with the men. I had just finished a week in West Palm Beach for an insurance conference and thought it would be great to extend it for a few days and have the girls come down to join me in Ft. Lauderdale. Due to the fact it was during the week, Donn was fine with me continuing my stay for a few more days and wasn't planning on taking time off of work to meet me. When I found out Simon and Jim were coming I thought, 'Well, then it's not a girls trip if the guys are joining us' and I wondered how it would turn out. Even though Donn wasn't planning on going, he told me to go anyways and to have a great time. In hindsight, once I knew the dynamics were changing with Simon and Jim coming, I probably should have listened to my gut and just gone home and not stayed for the few extra days. Simon and I had already had a few conflicts this summer, and I felt very uncomfortable being around him and really didn't want to see him.

The first night when we all had met in the lobby it was great to see the ladies. Even though Simon was there, I made it a point to just be cordial and not to cause any problems and to take the high road. I was told that it was only going to be Jim and Simon coming, so I thought that was going to be fine, because then it meant that Gretchen and Lynne and I were probably going to hang out together since Alexis and Tamra had their spouses with them. Once I saw Slade show up, I felt like I was being punked. It was ridiculous that these men wouldn't allow their women to go away for three days to enjoy girl time. Again, if I knew ahead of time that it was going to be that way, I would have just gone home and let them have their couples trip.

The last night that of the boat yacht trip, I was told that the men were not joining us that they were going to do their own thing and that Slade had gone home because he had court for his youngest son (child support issues) and wasn't even in Florida any longer. Once I heard that Slade elected to stay the extra night and that Jim and Simon were going on the yacht, I decided it was best for me not to go. I called Donn to get his opinion, and he told me I was doing the right thing. Once of my collegues in the insurance industry and his girlfriend live in Ft. Lauderdale so I called them up and the three of us ended up going to dinner and I had a great time. It ended up being a great night which was comfortable, non confrontational and was the right place for me to be with good friends who support me, love me, and make me feel happy.

Lynne was only 10 days out of having her facelift surgery and was a real trooper. She still had staples in her head and was scabbed up and really did much better than I expected. I think she looks fabulous and am so proud of her recovery and results.

People have asked me a lot about Gretchen and Slade's relationship and all I have to say is if Gretchen is happy, then that's all that matters. I'm bothered while watching this week's episode that the only thing Slade can bad-mouth about me is that "I'm controlling and that I couldn't control the situation" is the furthest from the truth. If I was controlling to the point he thinks I am, I would have gone with them on the boat and made everyone including myself uncomfortable.. By NOT going, I feel was the right thing to do and was the furthest thing from being controlling. I think he was not right in talking about me, as I have tried to stay out of his way and be quiet when it comes to him. What I did was NOT controlling. Regarding Slade dating Gretchen, I have so many people come to me and tell me how Slade uses people and takes advantage of "opportunity", that I guess I'm being somewhat over protective to Gretchen. I just don't want to see her get hurt after just healing from the death of Jeff. I hope Slade is everything she thinks he is, and wish them both well.

When I was asked about Simon and Tamra, all I have to say is watching this year so far and what they have both said about me while the cameras are rolling is nothing more than hurtful. I care about Tamra a lot and just want her to know that I will be there for her no matter when she needs me, Simon on the other hand is a separate matter. Tamra has said many times that she thinks Simon and I are a lot alike, (independent and strong) but I don't see that at all. While I agree with her that I am independent and strong because that's the only way I know how to be to survive in a "business owners world," I do not control or tell Donn what he can and cannot do. Tamra and Simon mentioned because they have little children that their life is different than ours, and I agree with that. It does not mean that it's not healthy for a woman to have a few days apart with some girlfriends to recharge and have fun. I think that is what a healthy relationship is made of is balance. All girls need some girl time, just the way guys need guy time. It's just too bad that the Florida trip turned out to be so confrontational because I don't think it had to be that way.

Well enough of the somberness, I have some great news! My book More than A Housewife launched this week and it's been a huge success. It's a book about inspiration, finding your true purpose in life, how I got started in the insurance business and a little bit about me growing up. After seven months of working on it, I'm so proud that it's actually finished and is perfect timing right before the holidays.

As always, if you are looking for a free quote on life insurance, please visit my website at www.cotoinsurance.com. There are over 85 million people who are not insured for life insurance, please don't be one of them. There is a 100% chance you are going to pass away, we just don't know when.

Happy Holidays to everyone, I wish you peace and joy during this season.

Love,
Vicki