Competitive Parenting

Competitive Parenting's Assistant Editor distills all the 'Wife wisdom from Episode 2.

Episode 2 had all the makings of the perfect O.C. bride. (Just go with it for a moment, I promise it will all come together.) We had something old (Vicki joyously shouting woo-hoo during a party), something new (Peggy), something borrowed (Tamra renting a new condo), and something blue (Tamra's breakdown with Fernanda). OK the Tamra's new condo was a stretch, but on the whole it works. This all came to me in light of Tamra and Alexis' marraige talk, which honestly couldn't have been more awkward. It seemed like Tamra was trying to offer her own experience as a cautionary tale, but Alexis was not having it. She thinks Jim is supportive of her new foray into the clothing industry, however Tamra isn't so sure about that. Personally I hope the dress line happens and becomes the rival to Royal Plush. Also Alexis can use this opportunity to partner with Cuff Love and Gretchen Christine Beauté. First Coto, then the world!

In any event, let's see what lessons the ladies had in store for us this week.


It seems to me Gretchen has a good thing going with Slade. She's got one assistant, Shawna, who she pays with money (presumably) and then Slade, who she pays "in the bedroom." Times are tough, so if you can get your boyfriend to help build your cosmetic/couture empire by way of sexy times, then I say go for it! And hey, it's way better than being paid in gum. 

However Shawna better start having Gretchen's back otherwise she might not get paid at all. I feel for Shawna though, because doing work while also trying to navigate the friends and enemies of a Housewife is no easy task. 

Woo-hoo for Vicki! All of her extremely hard work paid off when she gets an award for being "psychotically persistent." Couldn't the presenter have found a somewhat more... flattering way to pharse that? In any event, Vicki took it as a compliment, and it seemed only to help fuel her desire for some well-deserved fun.  


Peggy said that you need to have strong survival skills to live in Orange County, and perhaps she was referring to what appears to be the most popular competitive sport in the O.C. -- parenting. Alexis and Peggy's battle for parenting perfection certainly seemed like no laughing matter. However this scene left me puzzling over one very important question -- What's more advanced, being able to count to thirty in English or counting to six in Spanish? I won't hazard a guess, because I think a true professional needs to be consulted on this one. 

And just a side note, how cute was it when Peggy's daughter said she fell because she was trying to look around? Total "awww" moment. 


I think it was pretty clear that Vicki Gunvalson is not the next Patti Stanger. How Briana didn't just melt into a pool of parental embarrassment when her mom tryed to fix her up with, well, everyone is beyond me. Talking about your love life with your parents is awkward. Your mother trying to set you up with all of her unwed coworkers is, as Rachel Zoe would say, on a another level. But similar to the classic O.C. moment when Vicki surprises Michael at college, this was one of those instances of Vicki's always amusing over-momming. 

When looking for a husband, make sure he has it all. As Peggy points out, "I am so lucky to have a man that is into all the guy stuff like guns and swords, but then he's like Mr. Versace/Gucci." I'm now on the lookout for a man who's packing heat (insert inappropriate joke) while wearing a Versace suit. Or alternatively a sword-wielding Medieval Times knight in Gucci sunglasses.  

Next week things heat up with Tamra and Eddie, so stay tuned...


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