Taping the reunion show is somewhat similar to being on the defense stand for a murder trial. It's one of the most grueling days we endure, when wrapping up a season. It's a chance for all of us to say to one another our viewpoints from the past season of filming. This first part of the reunion went fairly well for me but the second part I don't think is going to be as forgiving.
As a human, we all make mistakes and if we learn from those mistakes and continue to make better choices in life -- then it was worth it. I admit I've made mistakes, said some things I shouldn't have, and have attempted to move past them. However, as I said on this episode -- it's like continuing throwing them up over and over again. Frustrating!
There isn't one of us that sat on that couch that goes untouched on the reunion episodes. One way or another, we got "called out" on actions, words, or things we did to hurt one another. I don't believe any of us have ill intent towards each other, however we necessarily don't agree or even like each other at times, which can make things uncomfortable.
Tamra and I obviously are not in a good place. Other than her not accepting Brooks, I really don't know how or why she decided to do what she did this year to our friendship. We had a strong bond, and I felt that no one or nothing would have ever come between us. We had too much history with each other, and too much genuine care for one another to let things get as bad as they did.
I told Tamra that I felt her friendship with Gretchen had a lot to do with it. . .and I still believe it. Gretchen obviously doesn't respect me or even like me, and although I wish we did have a good "working" relationship it's just not there.
When Tamra found out about Brooks past child support issues, it was a way for Gretchen to finally get her word out that I'm a HYPOCRITE and of course Tamra had to join in on that because she couldn't let Gretchen be alone in that fight. Personally, I thought she would have gone to bat for him, however she did the exact opposite what I thought she would do.
For a time, Eddie, Tamra, myself, and Brooks had a great relationship. We went to Mexico together to celebrate my birthday and Eddie's birthday months prior to the media exposing Brooks, and we told them our fears of introducing Brooks to the world. They both encouraged us and said we would show everyone our new boyfriends and to show how happy we both were. We spent many weekends together. Never once did Tamra even talk to me about her concerns of Brooks -- until months later. When I told her that I would never do anything to hurt her or Eddie, I wouldn't. There are many things that have not been disclosed about Eddie (or Tamra for that matter) and as a friend I would never want to deliberately hurt them or their relationship by disclosing anything negative about them. We were completely honest with them, as we trusted them with our relationship. I guess we were wrong. Where I come from, a true friend supports whatever decision one makes, unless it is life, financially or emotionally threatening. NONE of these are the case with Brooks or I.
Alexis, I thought, did a fabulous job on defending herself. She has become a very dear friend to me and regardless of what people say about her, she is a great person. Reflecting back on how Tamra spoke to her in Costa Rica about "being a true person and throwing her money away" was just down right mean. We all need money in this world to survive, and all of the times I have been around Alexis and Jim this past year they are the most genuine people I know. I would question Tamra, if Eddie didn't have any money would you still be with him? I doubt it. Furthermore, Tamra does not work and it would be very difficult for her to support her three young children with no child support, Eddie. To say money doesn't matter to Tamra, is being a "hypocrite." Oops. . .did I say that?
Heather is a class act. I have really enjoyed getting to know her and Terry this season and I hope to have a lifelong friendship with them. Now that the show is over and summer is here, we haven't been able to see each other as often as we like, but we truly care about one another and could never see it getting bad between us. But then I've said that before.
I've seen Gretchen become more mature these past few years. There is a lot of s--t stirring she has done, which has caused some unnecessary issues with Tamra and I which I wish could have been avoided. I wish her and Slade a lifetime of happiness and am glad that he has seemed to come out to the drama that was focused on him a few years back. Looks like all that has shifted towards Brooks this season. Wonderful!
In closing, we have one more week and Season 7 is a wrap. I went with Briana and Ryan yesterday for her 27-week ultrasound checkup. The baby is growing, is healthy and even waved at us which was SO exciting. He was drinking and moving around which was fun seeing. My Briana and I are closer than ever, and as a soon to be 25 year old mother herself, she is definitely an amazing girl. She is very protective of me, and only wants the best for me. At the end of the day, we are family and for those of you that say I have chosen Brooks over my family and friends is just flat out not true. I will defend my honor in those statements. Briana may never accept Brooks, or for that matter any other man I choose to be with, but at the end of the day, my happiness does matter.
There is no doubt Brooks has been put thru the "ringer." Yes, he admits to some mistakes in his past, but keep it in perspective. We ALL have some "issues" in the past that we wish we could have changed or not have said, but at the end of the day he is a son, a brother, a father, a businessman, and I love him. I have a very good judge of character and I sure wouldn't have stayed this long if I didn't feel he wasn't worthy of me. I have no idea where my road is headed, but one thing for sure is I know who I am, I know what I want, and I'm not settling in any area of my life. I have two amazing children, Mike and Briana, a new son-in-law Ryan, a grandson on the way, amazing friends who all love me and support me, and an amazing business Coto Insurance & Financial Services. I am focused and centered of where I am headed, more than I have been in many years. I love my life and if you happen to see me around, please stop and say "Hi." Thank you all for your support in this crazy ass year I had, and I look forward to seeing you again in Season 8, if we have the opportunity. Woo Hoo!
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