The Ebbs and Flows of My Marriage

The Ebbs and Flows of My Marriage

Heather discusses why she got so upset with Terry over dinner -- and why it's perfectly normal.

Well, here we are again. . .show night!

The pumpkin patch: I love being with my kids! They were so cute in the pumpkin patch! We had to get a wheel barrow to carry everything to the counter to pay! They got big ones this year!!! We go every year and get lost in the corn maze. This year was especially nice because Collette could walk around and check out the pumpkins. We always end the day eating a loaf of pumpkin bread that's made locally. Having four little ones is fun, crazy, messy, and wonderful. I wouldn't trade it for the world! Thank you for your continuing hospitality Tanaka Farms and my pal there Rojelio! It's an amazing organic farm in Irvine. If you are in the area, check it out!



Hot in Cleveland!!!


Wow, This is SO exciting! The piece of the puzzle that's been missing for me, my career, has magically reappeared. This is exactly the kind of opportunity I've been waiting for.

Hot in Cleveland on TVLand is an amazing show with an all-star cast! Betty White, Valerie Bertinelli, Wendy Malick, and Jane Leeves . I was so excited to tell Terry! He has always been a big supporter of my career and even though we have been bumping heads lately, I assumed he would be ready to help me in any way he could. . .


Cut to dinner at Zov's. . .

Infuriated Heather

This is a hard scene for me to watch for many reasons. Terry is a guy who likes to joke around a lot, which is great. Contrary to what you see on the show, I think he's very funny and we laugh a lot. However, like in all relationships, we go through times where it's not working. The jokes are repeatedly at my expense.

I freely admit I am overly sensitive and should allow more things to roll off my back. I'm just not built that way. As my partner in life, I would hope that Terry would lighten up on me if he knows it bothers me so much. Unfortunately, I had had enough at dinner that night. I was so excited about my guest star role, and I thought Terry would be in the "anything you need" mode. It's only five days of helping out. Not a big deal. I just didn't want to hear the jokes anymore. Also, involving the kids to me is a mistake.

I am a very hands-on mother. I am very busy raising my kids and taking care of husband and our home. Yes, I have help. But it's called "help," not "do."

I don't do very much for myself by way of alone time, girls' trips, etc. except for what you've seen on the show.

I just wanted Terry to support me and be excited for me and make it about me for a change. Because it hasn't been in a very long time.

I don't regret my decision to stay home with my kids, but having an opportunity for five days to feel like my old self again and be creative is priceless.

I love my husband very much. We have been together for 16 and a half years. This is reality. We all have ebbs and flows in our relationships. You are seeing a piece of our lives this season. I wish you could see more of a complete picture. We are also loving and fun together. Silly, happy, thoughtful, and kind to each other.

Not as fun to watch as the bickering moments I suppose. However it's all these moments that make up a relationship. They are not all pretty. This is one of those. . .

P.S. I showed this to Terry before sending in to and this was Terry's text back when I asked him what he thought: "Brilliant, honest, real: exactly what I would expect from you. I love it. I love you."

Stay tuned next week to see what happens...

Until then.... .

Send your questions to @OKmagazine and use #OKAskHeather I am answering questions on etiquette, party planning, child rearing, health and beauty. Ask away!

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