Lydia McLaughlin

Lydia explains why she wanted to defend Alexis and what she thinks of Vicki and Tamra's feud.

on May 13, 20130

Coming off of Mother's Day weekend, and having my mother introduced last week, I would like to give a shout out to all the mamas out there. I am so grateful for being a mom and for having a wonderful example of what a great mother looks like because of who my mom is. Everyone (for the most part) has been so encouraging and loving towards my mom after last week's episode. I know she "lives in the land of the bunnies" but that is who she is, and I'm so happy for your acceptance and love. I am proud of my mom and her zest for life and care free attitude.

On to wine tasting. . .Malibu style.

This is the first trip where Doug and I have both left our kids overnight. When we travel we like to bring them with us, and if Doug goes on business trips, I like to stay home with the kids. We have left them for the day before, but our kids are young. Maverick is two and Stirling is four. Having our own businesses allows us to create our own schedules. I work around my kids naps and preschool. I am very hands-on and involved, and I get nervous if I leave them for too long. Once we got invited to go on the wine trip, I was excited as well as anxious. I can tell by watching this episode that I am missing my kids and not fully "present" in the trip. I was looking forward to getting to know all the girls, but my kids are always my biggest concern. Doug and I tried to focus on a fun weekend away. We rode bikes and took a workout class together. It was a fun weekend overall and reminded me of our visits to Doug's hometown of Paso Robles.

When we first arrived I gave Gretchen a card. I had only met her at the CUT party and that obviously wasn't a great night for anyone. Tamra had told me Gretchen was going through a lot with Grayson, Slade's son. I can't imagine having a sick child and what that must be like to go through. I had my boys color a Get Well card for them. This was my way of letting her know we were praying for her and the whole family. I hadn't "clicked" with Gretchen, and I thought this was a good way to show her a little of who I am by offering her support.

146 comments
legalmama
legalmama

For the love of Pete, Lydia, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS !!!! You are trying way to hard to fit in with these women, honey, you are waaay out of your league !!!  The way you run from person to person telling them what the other has said about them is soooo JUVENILE !! Knock it off !!!  You are going to eventually alienate your mother if you don't back off and leave her alone ! She is a grown women capable of making her own decisions ! QUIT telling everyone her business, because it's none of their business !!

Lionetta
Lionetta

Please don't turn mean like the other women have. Run, Lydia, run!

catz1
catz1

It is obvious that Lydia loves her mother and that her concern for her is real. It is also obvious her mother doesn't plan on changing a thing about her own behavior despite that it is probably self-destructive. Her relationship with her mother is stronger and more loving than most, and her mother seems to enjoy being in the spotlight, so lay off.

jade.khoolar
jade.khoolar

Ya know Lydia I really want to like you...but for the LOVE OF GOD i wish you would stop talking about your moms pot smoking anytime you're on the camera.  I feel terrible for your mom now that the season is on the air.  As the saying goes... we talk about what we think about the most and clearly you need to just move on with the pot smoking and your mom....it could be worse. She could be a total drunk or hard core drug addict.  It's just pot.  I feel bad for you yes becuase it bothers you so much. But it seems your mom has her stuff together enough that shes not sleeping on the streets turning tricks for a bag of weed.  She's 50+ years old, she raised you and you no longer live with her, let her live her own life!!

Arvilla...Lee
Arvilla...Lee

PLEASE don't let the other's drag you into their drama. You'll soon have enough of your own, if you do. You are much needed freshness to the show. :)

roger.redding.31
roger.redding.31

Lydia,

You should worry about the amount of booze you drink.Instead of worrying about your mom smoking pot.

Which by the way is way less harmful to the body then booze.

StaceyKay6
StaceyKay6

You don't have to be in school to be bullied and you don't have to commit suicide to need help and support from freinds.

louise123
louise123

Come on! You came on the show through Alexis--you were her friend and that was your "in" or connection, or how you were found. And you took it, gladly I'm sure.  I mean, who wouldn't?-- BUT you wanted to fit in with the mean, popular girls almost instantly. Now that's where a lot of the "who wouldn't?" DOESN'T apply. Seems they know who to cast who will on this show. I guess it's women who stare at other women's jewelry at their son's karate class,or insist on telling strangers, that just cuz they have money, they are no better--well, no DUH Lydia. That is insulting in its arrogance. You prefaced your conversations, "yes Alexis is my friend but"---and at your lunch with Heather and Tamra, you couldn't wait to stab Alexis enough with backhanded statements and low key slams--oh they weren't statements that you could be caught "techically" saying anything bad, but they were "door openers"  against Alexis, in which you separated yourself from Alexis, so as not to back her completely NO MATTER WHAT, which good friends do. You know exactly what I mean. It was very manipulative. And it didn't take long for the mean girl's eyes to light up all happy, and the WORST part is, yours followed shortly after, in pleasing them.

Justamom1
Justamom1

I saw your eyes flash to Tamara as she approached the car. Viewers, look at it again if you missed it. You were trying to impress by your words. Sorry honey, but your age and immaturity are showing. You are as fake as the rest of them. The jig is up. Too bad, like others have said, you were a breath of fresh air...too bad it was all fake!

aggiegirl
aggiegirl

Such a phony you are! I keep thinking one of you "housewives" will be normal and maybe a little nice, then there we go again! shame on me for watching.

Marziegirl
Marziegirl

Jump in where you are not wanted and interfere---this seems to be your MO. Not to mention gossip and backstabbing your so called friends. Good luck with that!

moonstar312
moonstar312

Lydia- I just love that you have joined the cast. Your mom is such a wonderful loving soul. I LOVE the fairy dust. What a way to infuse love and light into any situtation. I can tell you and your hubby have a good solid, loving marriage . I respect the fact that you tell the truth and don't allow the anyone to drag you into to saying something that is negative.

AlfaBRAVO
AlfaBRAVO

Ooooh, Lydia.  I really liked you at first  but now it seems a little pot stirring is creeping in.  Why bring up Alexis at all?  And when Vicki was leaving SIP to go home, Tamra walked her outside and they were fine...until you opened your mouth.  And then you couldn't wait to announce "Tamra called Vicki a beyotch"  and fuel the fire some more.   Not impressed with you this episode. 

FlutterBy
FlutterBy

Lydia, you and your husband just need to stay away from this negative energy...when you were with them on the wine tasting trip, the negative energy around you was visible to me...it was like it was circling you, but not seeping through...I can't explain it...sounds weird, but you don't mix well with them....like two different elements of nature in the scenes....give it your best, but please know when to throw in the towel...

LynnfromMN
LynnfromMN

You need to be on a younger version of the RHOC.  You don't have enough life experiences to interact with these harpies without getting hurt.

olivia1952
olivia1952

You are such a breath of fresh air to this show.  I hope you watch the first shows when Gretchen came on.  She reminded me alot of you now.  She saw the best in everyone,  and just was always happy.  Once she became friends with Tamera her whole persoanlity changed.  I pray you never change.  You can see how much Tamera and Gretchen want to be your friend but I think they want that,  and then have you turn on Alexis.  Be careful.  Be careful with Heather also.  Since her coming on the show,  this show has gone down hill.  Maybe you will change that.  Be true to yourself always. 

AggieHoustonHousewife
AggieHoustonHousewife

Really loving you on the show! You seem like a true, down to earth person who is a straight shooter. I thought the gesture towards Gretchen and Slade was very sweet. Hats off to you. 

housewife324
housewife324

You are quickly becoming my favorite on the show! Keep your positive attitude and try not to get too involved in their petty fights (I know it's impossible to stay completely out of it since you did sign up for a reality TV show!) 

jesssays
jesssays

If I recall you were the one who brought up Alexis. I understand you dont want to be responsible for defending her with the ladies, that being the case stop bringing her up in a group that dislikes her and will take any mention of her to tear her down! You come across as very naive when you show no foresight.

WifeNoMo
WifeNoMo

Lydia, At first glance you seem to be a breath of fresh air. However the more I watch you the more the air doesn't seem so fresh. You claim to be Alexis' friend, yet you sit with Tamra and Heather and discuss "your friend". Then at the wine tasting you discussed your "friend" again saying she had issues, but "we all do". When Alexis was in the limo after Tamra threw her out of her party and said she was bullied, you told her she wasn't bullied....really? You, just like the ret of the ladies, are hung up on the true "meaning" of bullying. You, as her "friend", should have focused on how she was feeling, not what she called it...some friend.

WandaP
WandaP

So wise for have a fairy-bunnie-mom, your sweet girl, stay that way. I really liked that you and heather, Tamar r the only ones that believe Gretchen is truly suffering with Slade.. Others have a lot to learn from one so young!

rosyposy
rosyposy

Not sure what to think of you.  I want to like you, but you always seem to want in on the side of the hateful women who love to gang up on someone.   In other words, you say one thing, but do another.  With friends like you,  Alexis does not need enemies.    Just not a really good feeling about you.

rsuze
rsuze

I am done watching this show!

AddictedToBravo25
AddictedToBravo25

You rock Lydia!!! Your mom obviously was a fabulous teacher of life as it is. You have depth, a wonderful quality. I can relate and find your presence on this show brilliant!

Leah008
Leah008

Why do you insist on talking about Alexis around the wolves? You really are trying hard for camera time at Alexis's expense. Shame on you!

 

Leah008
Leah008

Are you okay with that or are you pissed? Is that what you asked Tamra in front of VIcki when she was leaving? 

Lydia you aint nothing but an instigator!

greekgirl
greekgirl

I don't always agree with you but I still like your vibe! Your mom and hubby too! You're a great addition to the group. I was about to quit this show before your debut bc it's become a shameful parade of bitchiness and huge egos. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you trying to figure out what the heck is truly going on bc everyone has their own twisted version of events. Good luck!!! Question everything!!!

MAGNOLIAINMS
MAGNOLIAINMS

Lydia, I find you to be a breath of fresh air on the show. I think you are just what was needed....a pretty objective individual to advise Alexis that she really could afford to make some SEVERELY needed personality adjustments. I've never seen anyone more inclined to play victim because someone offers her some criticism on ways she might better deal with individuals from all walks of life. Hang in there. You are doing great and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that sweet and unique.Mama of yours. She is a true delight and definitely very genuine and FUN!

 

TinaS
TinaS

Lydia, I'm liking you more and more!!  You're clearly a genuine person who speaks her mind, and your good-hearted intentions are so obvious.  Your mom is such a character, and now I better understand why you've gravitated towards religion (for the structure it provides, especially helpful to someone whose childhood lacked it).  Thanks for your positive presence on this show!

heatherlynni
heatherlynni

You seem way to sweet to be on this show! Plus, it's nice and refreshing, to have someone who actually seems to be true to themselves.! You are so naturally beautiful btw!!:) inside and out! :) I love that you bring up scripture on forgiveness. It is one of the most important things to learn. We must always be in a state of forgiveness!:)

giggyvanderpump
giggyvanderpump

Lydia, why would a sweet girl like yourself want to play with the hornets nest? It's only a matter of time you will get stung! When that happens, I think you will really learn to appreciate Alexis, especially when you realize she has your back and won't throw you under the bus like you do with her.

ittybittyone
ittybittyone

Yes, you tried to be an instigator and said that Vickie called Tamra a bitch.  Even though you were wrong on who said what, it wasn't your place to say that.  If you wanted to get Heather caught up, you could have easily said, the two are having (yet another) a disagreement.  To me, you shouldn't have said a damn thing!!!

 

Not only that, let the naysayers (Heather) see what's going on for their damn self!!! 

 

I include Heather as a naysayer due to the fact that she along with everyone else, love to gang up on the negativity (Alexis). I mean, come on, how many people does it take to actually hate her.  Does it all have to be at once?

 

With that being said, it seems to me, that Lydia may end up being one of them.  If you remember,  Heather use to be the calm one, in the middle, never trying to pick sides, etc.  Now, it seems that she TOO actually hates Alexis.

 

Come on people, please voice your hate separately, not as a gang...TeeHeeHee.  Nah, I'm just kidding; it's all wrong no matter how they do it.

 

piperbeau
piperbeau

Lydia your under the assumption when somebody is fighting/arguing, that both parties must be a fault?!! Not always true! 

ddbird
ddbird

Lydia, I agree you are not obligated to defend Alexis, but you should not speak about her when she is not there to defend herself, especially with those who do not wish her well.

Jennie82
Jennie82

Lydia, I still think you are a good addition to the show. You are so fun and interesting. I think you are handling the drama well. Speaking from what I have seen on the show, although Alexis can be annoying, I think she is a loyal friend. It seems she would have your back if needed, keep that in mind when navigating your new friendships with the women that don't care for her. I love watching RHOC!

WhoDoesThat
WhoDoesThat

 @Marziegirl

 LOL   If that is how you feel about Lydia, then she is a perfect fit for this group of women. They ALL gossip and backstab. ALL.

WhoDoesThat
WhoDoesThat

 @olivia1952

 I am not sure if anyone can "turn" Lydia against Alexis. Lydia is a smart woman and it seems she has been questioning Alexis's motives since the beginning and perhaps even before she joined the cast. She only knew Alexis for 3-4 months before joining. I think she was already questioning her authenticity.

karynfl
karynfl

Seriously? Slade's son Grayson has been in and out of the hospital battling a brain tumor since his dx in 2005. Where was all of Tamra's concern and support for their suffering while she was hating on Slade and Gretchn in the past seasons? As for Lydia - she pretty much explained that giving Gretchen the card was partly motivated by the fact that they had not "clicked" at the dinner party. She wanted to get on Gretchen's good side. The card was a nice way to do it, but it was a gesture not entirely motivated by concern for Gretchen's suffering with Slade." I am holding out to make an informed opinion about Lydia.Right now I am not convinced she is as sweet and down to earth as she attempts to portray. There have been some red flags already, but I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she isn't going to turn out to be another disappointing phony like Heather.

AddictedToBravo25
AddictedToBravo25

@TinaS She didn't turn into this fabulous person overnight due to religion and a "lacking " in her childhood... Geeessshhh. Your first sentence shows her mom's part in who she is today!

MareBearG
MareBearG

 @giggyvanderpump Maybe she wants to play with the hornets because she's NOT a "sweet girl" and IS a hornet herself...

beggs909
beggs909

 @ddbird

 That is a pretty convenient stance for Lydia seeing it was Alexis that brought her to the party and the group.  Lydia will be just like the others.  Give her time. She already has repeated "fighting words" of another housewife when she should have stayed out of the fracas. 

TinaS
TinaS

 @AddictedToBravo25  @TinaS I wasn't implying RELIGION turned her into a good person in the least (it usually has the opposite effect).  A drug-using parent isn't normally the most structured type of personality, and since children crave routine and predictability, Lydia probably turned to church and all its rules and regulations because that was lacking in her experience (I'm usually turned off by Christians, but am accepting of Lydia's Christianity because I understand why she gravitated towards it).  Her "goodness" clearly came from her mother and her obvious love and devotion to her daughter.  That's pretty apparent. 

TinaS
TinaS

 @AddictedToBravo25  @TinaS  I agree: as adults we never need to blame parents.  They (we) do our best, and anything that was lacking in the past doesn't matter in the present where we have control over shaping our lives.  Again, I wasn't "blaming" Lydia's mother for anything... just expressing how her daughter may have gone in a particular direction as an adult because of her childhood experience.  Yes, thanks for the chat.  It's always nice to see women respectfully and intelligently have an exchange! :)

CrazyKoolaid
CrazyKoolaid

 @AddictedToBravo25  @TinaS  @AddictedToBravo25

 I really enjoyed reading this exchange. Find valid points with each of you.

Though never experienced "parent drug-induced" situation with myself or a parent, I, in the past, ( did inhale) unlike Bill Clinton. Reflection of where I once was&experienced, I tend to lean w/TinaS. To use a chemical will Always alter the brain, thus "structure" of any kind will be compromised.

Again.....wonderful.... adult difference of opinion!.

 

AddictedToBravo25
AddictedToBravo25

@TinaS @AddictedToBravo25 We will have to agree to disagree LOL Implying drug induced patents do not provide structure, is simply not always the case. Any more than non drug induced parents always provide structure. There are no right and wrongs, as to bringing up children either way. Life is what WE make it , not our parents. If one decides to find religion or join a commune as an adult, I don't feel that can have any reflection on ones parents. If one feels something is missing in their life, go get it, but don't blame your childhood for your needs as an adult. Have a good week end and thanks for the chat Tina :)

TinaS
TinaS

 @AddictedToBravo25  @TinaS Pot is a drug.  Her mother smoked/smokes pot.  Why would you have a problem with my term "drug-using parent" when that is reality?  And who's judging?  Personally, I think marijuana should be legal across the country.  Regardless, I'm making the point that Lydia ALSO made (because her mom was high so much while she was growing up, she craved the structure that "God"- religion- gave her), which I can completely understand.  Also, I never said anything about her mother's "parenting skills."  The fact that someone is high simply makes him/her less rigid ("structured") than a sober parent... and THIS (coming full circle back to my original point) allowed me to understand why someone (Lydia in this case) was drawn to religion (a quality that I was originally turned off by, but now I understand).

AddictedToBravo25
AddictedToBravo25

@TinaS My problem is with your term drug using parent. The parent that drinks , takes prescription drugs, are also drug using parents. One should not judge a parent simply because they smoked dope . I personally have seen more devastion in families from alcohol , antidepressants, etc, than from pot. This show is chock full of drug using parents and I do not see remarks about their parenting skills due to booze and pills.