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No Ill Intent Bringing Alexis

Vicki just wants everyone to get along -- but she has no interest in being anything but cordial to Gretchen.

By Vicki Gunvalson

First of all, I want to express my sincere sadness for the victims and families of the Boston Marathon bomb attacks that happened last week. At my office, I had CNN on in the front lobby and watching the devastation happening live on TV. It reminded me of the 9/11 attacks at the World Trade Center. To see all the innocent people hurt and killed really made me realize how precious and fragile our lives are, and that we should never take anyone for granted. As my son-in-law Ryan is deployed in Afghanistan, it made me wonder why we have so many armed forces in other parts of our world when we are being attacked right here in America. I feel it is appropriate, too, at this time, to thank all of the people and everyone responsible for finding and arresting Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. He will be no longer free to hurt any one else and justice will be served.

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I don't want to be remiss in not mentioning the Texas explosion which caused so many injuries and deaths. It again made me realize how vulnerable we all are and once again the "unknown" is always there. I pray for the injured and the deceased families and the people of Texas that have experienced any type of loss due to this disaster. It's been a tough week for America.

What both of those instances reminded me of is this: Life is precious and never to be taken for granted. We never know when someone that we love will be taken from us, which leads me to my feelings about this week's episode. There is so much sadness, so much destruction, so much poverty, so much illness, so much death lately in this world, that I just had hoped whatever ill feelings these ladies feel towards one another could be put aside so we could go back to being cordial and classy women -- this includes myself. It doesn't mean we have to love everything about one another, but what it does mean is to embrace our differences and to appreciate one another because at any time, one of us could be taken away. I know we all care for each other, however I just wished we could treat each other better and show the compassion that I know we have.

So, after such a horrific week we just had, watching this week's episode of the girls getting together to see Tamra's gym was really hard for me to see. My intentions were "pure" and I had no ill intent inviting Alexis. I feel terrible that it ended up the way it did. In hindsight, I might have done things differently if I knew what the outcome would be.

Given the fact that we all have been friends, I thought the right thing to do was to ask Tamra if Alexis could come to her party. I didn't know all the reasons why Tamra and Alexis were at odds; I just felt it was a good reason to bring Alexis with me to be my "girl date." I didn't want to go by myself because I felt like I really didn't have an anchor or friend there. Everything was so new with Tamra and me, and I really didn't know how she would treat me in front of Gretchen. I just didn't want to be put in an awkward situation with them so I was a little apprehensive on going.

I think Tamra thinks that she has to choose who to talk to or what side to be on, which I don't want for her. That's not my position. I don't care if she and Gretchen are friends -– I just have no desire to be around Gretchen and want to stay away from her as much as possible. I wanted to be as cordial as I could be, but I wasn't going to let Gretchen demean me and walk all over me like she has in the past. I'm over it!

Leading up to the party, I was not aware of the reasons why Heather, Gretchen, and Tamra were upset with Alexis. I guess I chose to not to know because it's usually very petty and meaningless and will blow over. I think once these girls get older, they will realize we have to pick our battles and act like ladies. To constantly be looking for reasons to break someone down is just so exhausting and downright mean. I hate it and don't want to be around it anymore. Life is too short for it and I am doing my best to learn from other people so I don't do it myself either.

Gretchen's comment about me saying "my baby" when I was referring to Troy was just stupid. My grandson is our families baby and if I used the word "my baby," it was nothing short of a play on words. I know very clearly it's not MY BABY and for her to snicker and make fun of me is just childish. She has NEVER been a mother, much less a grandmother, and has no idea the love that one has for a child until you become a mother. She acts all high and mighty, calling people out whenever she feels like it -- but to me it's just ignorant and stupid. She knows how it felt when SHE was in the "hot" seat a few years ago and now she's doing it to everyone else.

I really dislike how Alexis was treated at the party. Alexis went in with nothing but good intentions, to show Tamra that in spite of their differences she is supporting her gym. That speaks volumes to me. Alexis said to Tamra several times at the dinner table that she would be more than happy to discuss their differences one-on-one and asked that they not to do it in front of everyone. However Tamra just wouldn't let it go. It makes me really sad for Alexis. No one has yet to gang up on Tamra, so I really don't think Tamra understands how it feels. I truly hope she never experiences it because it stinks! Whether it's the word "bully," or "ganged up on," or "verbally attacked," or whatever word these women want to use -- it's just not nice! However you want to slice and dice it up -- it's just plain mean and I wish it would stop.

Poor Lydia! She had no clue what she got herself into by coming to Tamra's gym. I could tell when we walked in that it was going to be an awkward evening and we probably should have just turned around and went to dinner by ourselves. I think all the conflict was stemming from issues last year that weren't resolved. It was too new, too raw, and there were too many people around to make a smooth evening with all the bad blood that had happened.

I have spent this past weekend in Naples, FL with one of my best friends from high school. We had a wonderful weekend and it was so good to see her. She asked me so many times, "Vicki, why do your friends in California treat each other so meanly?" I wish I had an answer for her that made sense. I have an amazing group of friends, colleagues, and family that most of you viewers never get to see. I get through those rough times with these ladies by having "thick skin," which allows some of these things to bounce off me. I am hopeful Alexis can have it as well.

In closing, I want to thank everyone for your supportive and nice emails to me. As most of you can tell, my personal life has been a little rough this past year. Troy and Briana are doing great, and I love having them at the house. Mike is working hard at Coto Insurance as our life insurance specialist and he is happy living the single life in Newport Beach. Briana and Ryan's plan is to move out on their own when Ryan comes back, which will be good for them to be together as a family again. I am so proud of Briana as she is an amazing mother and her and Ryan have a really solid and healthy relationship. Please continue to keep Ryan in your prayers as he is in Afghanistan defending our country, so we can live in this amazing country.

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Thank you and have a good week.

Vicki Gunvalson

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