When Plex Met Toodee

Mindy Kaling from The Office is a romantic comedy aficionado. Burke is crying about this for some reason. It’s not like I don’t like the rom-com genre, I am just not that informed on the oeuvre. I would interpret a scene from Bottle Rocket, but that’s probably too obscure. 

“You've never worked a day in your life. How can you be exhausted?” -Bottle Rocket

Sue Z. confesses to her mother that she has been stoned and pregnant since 10th grade. This is not true, but she is definitely holding back something in the interrogation room. We all need to watch an “After 4 Special” to get our lives back on track.  

Bryan has been penned in by the need to make pizza, but his dough takes like a week to make, so he’s going to make one of those burrito pizza things you’d find in a gas station… but freeze it, levitate it, and spherify that s---. Bryan v. the World continues. 

Sang says he’s famous for never giving people what they want. This in itself is a very interesting business plan as long as you live in a land of sadists. Oh yeah -- he’s in LA. He’ll be fine. He’s capitulating in this challenge though and will be making apple pie with kimchi, pork rinds, and an edible napkin made of bean curd. 

Sue is going to make food that a pregnant woman would love. I am hoping the demographic likes this. 

Two chefs are going home today,  so this is an important time to do well. 

Sue decides she is going to freeze her feet off with liquid nitrogen, but fails by not removing the top. She's also concerned that she has either over-thunk or under-thunk this challenge. Yes, yes, I am following this logic. (This is a double positive). She has made salty chips with pickles and ice cream. If this is stoner food, it is something we never experienced in my playful youth, and I was stoned through out most of high school. 

Mindy is dressed up as an American flag. She just is. And she’s pretty darned hilarious.  

Burke has made grits, duck, and a spritz of sweat. 

Douglas has made scrambled eggs. It’s like he and his sous chef have been cribbing notes ‘cause Paul made soft scrambled eggs to garnish his soup in the last challenge over at the JV squad set, I mean Battle of the Sous Chefs. Neal is shaking that bass, with lobster and a chili broth. Neal likes to eat light on dates so he can make that '70s van rattle and shake… if you know what I mean. (I have to go shower now.)

Bryan drops Ivy League chatter about being invited to speak at Yale. I flew over Princeton once. Alas, his mystical interpretation of Mystic Pizza is yummed by Mindy. Curtis shrugs it off as not being “anything like a pizza,” which is code for “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Sang has made a date dessert. With apple pie compote, ice cream, and stuff. It’s deemed cute. 

Jennifer made a salad. She channels the pronunciation of Alex Trebek and says that she has made an Insalata di Frutti di Mare. 

Bottoms are Sang and Jennifer. Tops are Neal, Douglas, and Sue. Douglas wins. Flirting wins. Money for the dogs. Lexus bucks cometh for them doggies. Sang bitterly complains about the simplicity of scrambled eggs. Sang is getting grumpy. 

The results of the previous Battle of the Sous Chefs are divulged. If you haven’t yet watched the BOTSC, it comes on Bravotv.com after the Wednesday night airing of Top Chef Masters. Some really suave man with one beautiful eyebrow hosts it. 

Chris won the Battle, and so Burke gets immunity -- critical at this point in time. Bottoms were the sous chefs of Sue, Neal, and Jennifer. 

Yo Gabba Gabba! time. David Burke has never seen the show and is thinking the brown acid really is bad. Which, oddly enough, if you search “the brown acid is bad” up pop actual acid reviews. Have fun with this.

My kids never really watched Yo Gabba Gabba! I have watched a couple of episodes, but if I were two I would totally dig this stuff. Here is a guide to who those furries are. 

So, the challenge is to get kids eating well. Nutritious and delicious food must be served to 60 people for the Boys and Girls Club. Two chefs will go home. Jennifer, Neal, and Sue don’t get sous chef help for prep. Plex comes out to silently communicate to them that the bottom three will have to incorporate Brussels sprouts as well. 

I love b sprouts, as do my offspring. Start ‘em young, and they never look back. Douglas knows what dogs like but not what small humans enjoy. Burke knows that kids love smoking breadsticks (I think that’s what he said) and tries to light the kitchen on fire. Sous chefs come in to the brunt of all the work for half of the chefs. Party time. Clementine, my youngest, is terrified of people in costumes and all mascots, so we’d be making a really fast exit. The tables are set and the quasi nutritious food is on the tables. Douglas is trying to sell eggplant to the kids. I don’t think even dogs like eggplant. I mean, I do, but I am weird. Sang says this is like “Chucky Cheese on acid” without really awful pizza. 

Jennifer: Melon yogurt parfait. Sour weirdness. Garnished with Brussels. This is like a kids nightmare. 

Sang: Teriyaki meatballs with cucumber sunomono and cauliflower foam. The critics like it and the cutest future Yelper ever liked it too. 

Neal: Pasta with Brussels sprout and spinach Bolognese. Pretty awesome. One kid has come back for thirds. That’s very cool. 

Douglas: Eggplant jelly with crispy rice. “Kids naturally like umami.” Really? It is deemed to be a pretty fun dish but not very kid-friendly. One kid tells Douglas that he ain’t winning this challenge. 

David: Avocado mousse with ratatouille of fruit. Look, David Burke usually is a total pro on how to appeal to people. But this time, he may have missed the mark. Lots of confused faces on tasting. “Thank God I have immunity.”

Sue: Mac 'n' Cheese with glazed Brussels. Cottage cheese is the base cheese for the mac n cheese and Francis Lam doesn’t like cottage cheese at all. Otherwise, people seem to like it, but none are very verbose about it. 

Bryan: Beet ice cream with a yogurt dome. He’s been jonesing to make the dome thing, and here it is. Francis dances and says it tastes like a face full of mud. 

Douglas, Neal, and Sang are called to the line. Douglas is confused. So is Sang. Both thought that Douglas would probably anchor the losers. But not so fast, as it was in the top tier. Sang’s meatball was loved, and Neal made pasta with meat sauce which is a winner with pretty much all kids. Neal wins. Smart moves by a proud father. Neal says, “I’m excited. That’s great” with deadpan enthusiasm. 

Bottoms are Bryan, Jennifer, and Sue. Burke is in the middle. Jennifer’s dish was not loved by the kids. Sue’s mac 'n' cheese was enveloped in a cabbage smell. Bryan’s beet bombed. 

The judges do their thing and adjudicate. They do that crazy “Bryan... you’re safe.” Hate that. Sue and Jennifer go on their ways. Let the boyz krew begin. 

Sue, you rocked. Jennifer, you rocked. But they get to cling to hopes in Battle of the Sous Chefs.