What Can You Do When Someone Just Doesn't Like You?

What Can You Do When Someone Just Doesn't Like You?

Will Lisa Vanderpump ever come around and be friends with Kristen Doute?

By Marianne Garvey

It's been four years since Lisa Vanderpump decided she'd had enough of Kristen Doute — and she never looked back.

After Kristen was fired from SUR back in Season 3 of Vanderpump Rules, Lisa's attitude toward her has remained rather icy, to say the least. Maybe it was the way she told SUR manager Diana to "suck a dick?" It could have been any number of things, honestly. Point is, Lisa has a long memory and she can't seem to forget when it comes to Kristen.

Katie Maloney-Schwartz and Stassi Schroeder defended Kristen on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen on Monday, saying Lisa should finally forgive and move on.

The greatest form of punishment is icing a person out, reported Psychology Today. Being isolated can even cause depression, it added. In other words, this could be affecting Kristen in a real way. And, at the very least, it still totally sucks when there's someone who hates you who you still need to see socially.

"Based on this need for social connection, your reactions to rejection, negative judgment and stinging sarcastic remarks can range from minor hurt to bouts of depression," PT reported. 

It advised the following:

"The first step to handling a negative situation is to recognize your reaction ... Ask yourself what is true about the situation. When you sense yourself shutting down or feeling defensive, ask yourself what you believe the person meant to do to you. Did they truly mean to insult you, betray you, disrespect you, or make fun of you? Your brain works very hard to keep you safe, so it will judge a situation as threatening if there is any possibility of social harm. This is not a logical process.

If you are sure the person meant to be negative, determine if their target was you personally or your ideas. When our brains sense a possible threat, we react as if we were personally attacked, meaning we take things too personally by nature. Take a breath to relieve the stress and ask, 'Was the person commenting on my idea or on me as a person?'

Finally, if you believe the person doesn’t like you, ask yourself if this matters. Some people will like you. Others will not. Will the person’s judgment of you impact your work or life? If not, what can you do to release your need to be liked or even respected by this person? And, what can you do to stay neutral and not return the dislike? ... If you are doing the best you can with what you have, worrying if people like you or not is a waste of your most precious resource: your energy."

In the end, remember this, says one expert. “Remember that it is impossible to please everyone ... You have your own unique personality which means some people will love and adore you, while others may not.”

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