Katie: Stassi Needed Peace of Mind

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Read Katie's expanded blog after the jump.

The day following the night of Peter's birthday was extremely rough. Not only was I severely hungover and sleep deprived but I was also aware that I had said some awful things. I was guilt ridden before I got there. I knew I had to face Stassi and Kristen and apologize and try to clean up the mess I made.

When I got to Kristina's I was expecting to be screamed at by them. I could tell Stassi and Kristen were very upset with me, so I just wanted to speak my peace and leave. I knew Stassi was more inquisitive about what exactly I knew and why I never said anything. This was truly a rumor and I knew no truth to it. I hadn't brought it up before for fear of what happened, so I chose to bury it in my mind. I don't know if I have ever been able to pinpoint exactly why I decided to bring it back up. I guess my subconscious took over.

That day at Bagetelle was a s--- show. It really is like spring break. I think the boys took it too literally when they decided to get out the bar and take their shirts off. This is NOT typical of my Schwartz though. He cringes at the memory. But, I think he wanted to "get into the spirit" of it all and let loose. I was standing right at the bar egging him on. In hindsight I'm a little embarrassed for us both.

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Having to work with Scheana during the aftermath of Peter's birthday was awkward no doubt. This is one of the pitfalls of working with your friends as well as people you don't get along with. At the end of the day you have to go to work and see the faces you'd rather avoid. In this particular case I knew I owed her an apology for the things I said to her. I also owed Tom an apology for my behavior and trying to stir the pot about him and Arianna.

As for Scheana, I'm not naive enough to think that my apology would make her change her mind about me but it was still important for me to own up to what I said and recognize to her that I knew I was being out of line.

I was very happy that Jax didn't want to carry out a grudge and was ready to just forget it all. I felt like I had brought of this rumor that was now plaguing the restaurant and my close friends. I wanted it all to go away too.

I owed my support to Stassi in seeing this rumor through. After all, I brought it up and she is my best friend. The thing about this whole rumor is that I knew minimal, what I knew was pretty to the point though. Stassi is pretty relentless in her interrogations and she kept pressing me. I wish I had more information to give her. I felt at one point that she thought I was keeping information from her, which wasn't the case. I didn't want to believe it. Kristen and Jax had previously denied it to me, and I took their word as truth. However, what I was discovering was that a percentage of myself strongly felt it to be true and that was eating at me to the boiling point. I felt that if it was true it really should be brought to light.

I thought Stassi's plan was good. If Jax and Kristen were hiding something the only people they would talk to about it is each other. Yes is might seem petty but if Stassi was going to move past it she needed this peace of mind.