It's no secret that Lisa and I can butt heads. I had reservations about working Kyle's party to begin with and was scheduled at SUR, so I didn't really go in to that night with the best head on my shoulders.
Let me be clear about something. I didn't want to go to Scheana and Pandora's birthday brunch, and I don't feel it was anyone's business but my own as to what my reasons were. It was a respect thing -- I didn't feel comfortable indulging in Lisa's generosity knowing the way she felt about me. I really felt she was just trying to ruffle my feathers, and she's damn good at it! Her decision to not let Tom and I bartend together was just to get under my skin. And. . .it worked.
Scheana got in Stassi's face about the "Tooth Text" in the middle of Kyle's kitchen, and that's appropriate? Lisa definitely doesn't play favorites, and I definitely don't get pigeonholed. Up until that point, I had been giving Lisa respect and wasn't getting it in return. I couldn't have gotten out of that party faster, back to SUR to make money doing what I'm good at.
I'm over the "Jax and Stassi soap opera." I spent a year of my life living theirs and now I'm selfishly living mine. #Sorrynotsorry. At this point, they are a broken record of bad music that no one even wanted to listen to the second time around.
Being suspended was definitely disappointing, but not surprising. I disrespected Lisa, and she also had to make an example out of me. Emotions run high when logic runs low. With everything I had going on with Tom at home, I needed the break from SUR.
I can't sum up my relationship with Tom in a blog. It is so easy for an outsider looking in to have an opinion that I should leave him after cheating. Was I pissed? Obviously. Was I torn apart? More than you will ever know. It isn't as easy as to say, "Peace out, I'm moving on" after five years. I love him, he's my best friend, we have a life together. I say that I'm strong, but he is my weakness.
I was blown away by the way Pandora spoke about me at her birthday lunch. She completely caught me off guard as she was the one to invite me to lunch and Bugatta! I respectfully declined and she made a point that her mother's issues are not her own. When I watched the episode back, she claimed that she did not invite me and didn't think I would have the audacity to show up. I might be a lot of things, but fake isn't one of them. Be my friend or don't be my friend -- just don't be a fake friend.
Scheana gossiping about me, on the other hand? No shock value there. I do think it's hilarious that she was initiating the dish, but whined to everyone to stop talking about me. I may have missed the lunch, but I was obviously there in spirit.
I went to Bugatta for Pandora, not for Scheana. When Katie and Stassi filled me in on all of the s--- talking that had gone down earlier, of course I was going to call her out on it. It was apparent that Scheana and her dress were going to take "It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To" to another level. Black Swan wanted to keep the attention on herself, even if it meant stomping her feet and throwing people out. She desperately wanted Stassi all to herself and her attempt to banish Katie and I failed miserably.