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Tom on Damage Control With Kristen

Tom wishes Kristen could hold on to her rationality, but he isn't going to let rumors hinder their relationship.

By Tom Sandoval

Ariana and I have been friends for over three years, our friendship has mainly just consisted of talking and goofing off at work behind the bar, and hanging out in group situations, like at Scheana's or at bars with friends. I will say that over the years we've defiantly developed a closer friendship -- that happens when you work next someone for a long periods of time and consistently. It's just what happens. We are the kind of friends where we might talk at work, hang out after with other co-workers, text a few times, then not talk or see each other for a month or more, especially if we don't work together, or see each other.

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When Ariana and I went shopping, Kristen def knew. At this point our relationship was really strong, so Kristen wasn't worried about anything. As far as the rumors, I feel at that time, her and I both were over even acknowledging them -- because rumors only get life when you give them life. No need to water the rumor plant, just let it die.

I don't even know how or why Dani would start saying such ridiculous things or even open her mouth about me. I've never talked to Dani about anything more than the weather or a drink for a table while working. There is only a couple reasons why Dani would start rumors about me, she somehow heard about what my "good friend" Jax said and decided to get on the bandwagon in desperation to have something legitimate to say to the mean girls group, and get some attention -- or she has some weird shrine of me and or a voodoo doll to match. Either way, it was nothing less than desperate, creepy, and overall pathetic...I wish Kristen would have never even confronted Dani about her bullshit "banter" claims, because that's exactly what Dani wanted. . .


And for her to gossip to Lisa about me? Jeez, get a f---in' hobby! Then get a life! You wouldn't believe all the things I've heard about Dani. . .

Oh yeah, that's right! I don't give a s---. 

As far as Gay Pride, I wasn't really thrilled about the giant wings because of the idea of being a tight moving truck bed with so many people running around -- and of course you know everyone is going to be drinking. Think about when when you go to a Halloween party and there's always a few people who decide to take up a lot of real estate by wearing big costumes or wings, it's always a royal pain in the ass for them and everyone else. So being on a moving truck bed just seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. I just have this vision of one of these girls getting a wing upside their head and being sent flying into a sea of rainbow flags only to never be heard from again. . . Haha! It always goes back to a saying I often refer to when it comes to Lisa and these sort of things --"fashionality over functionality."


I don't see any point what so ever in Kristen divulging all the details of what happened in Vegas to Ariana except her just wanting me to look bad, which seems like a common thing for Kristen to like to do lately.


Kristen hasn't been faithful through our entire relationship either, and has done some really terrible things to me and this relationship, but the difference is I don't go around advertising those things. She and I are supposed to be a team -- and also if Kristen looks bad, I look bad considering that she is my girlfriend and therefore a reflection upon me.

These text messages between Ariana and I have been taken completely the wrong way. Let me just break it down for you: Kristen checks my phone daily. She can check my call log, and can locate me at anytime. So if I thought those were bad texts, don't you think I would've deleted them to save myself all this bulls--- from her?

They were nowhere near the text messages I have read on her phone that say: "Hey love!" "Hey dollface!" and "When can I see you again?" And mind you these text are between guys that she only hangs out with when I'm at work or out of town. Some of them I've never even met in person. So I really don't understand why she is trying to set guidelines that she is nowhere near ready to keep herself. Kristen has become quite the master of the double standard.

Kristen bringing me outside during one of SUR's busiest days of the year to bitch me out in front of everyone is just another example of why an insecure person should not try to drink away their problems and insecurities.

After that, I feel like the date night at Korean BBQ was very important. Kristen and I have been together for so long that I sometimes forget how important it is for us to go out to dinner together and have our time out alone. We do much more of the lunch dates, so I was looking forward to the change. When I called the place up and asked them about vegetarian options, they assured me there would be plenty and gave me many examples. I should have just been more clear to the waiter to cook all the veggie options first and the meat last, because by the time it came to to cooking the veggie options Kristen had already lost her appetite.

I really don't feel like I'm running from my relationship problems like Kristen says. I really feel like lately I've been doing nothing but making my relationship a number one priority. Ever since Lake Arrowhead, I've been focusing on what makes Kristen happy by doing projects around the apartment, keeping it clean, taking her out to dinner, making her breakfast in the morning, and just all around trying to be there for her in every way I can. It can be a little discouraging when I feel like it's not appreciated.

Damage control with Kristen is just a part of the relationship. I've just had to accept it, unfortunately. Kristen shoots from the hip, and many times is a slave to her emotional instability. As much as I've really tried to get through to Kristen, I feel like it's something that she just can't help. It seems to be the root of most of her problems and a lot of ours as a couple -- and alcohol is a catalyst for this.

When Kristen is drinking and out with the girls, I try to stay away as much as possible because usually one out three times she's going to get into an argument with one of them, and if I disagree or try and call her out on her bad behavior, then that emotional targeting can quickly become me.

Many times I have to try and smooth things over with friends or Lisa and the workplace because Kristen gets emotional and out of line. I wish she could hang on to rationality a little better, maybe see the big picture, and think things through, instead of shooting first and asking questions later.

I'm def not surprised that Katie said such ridiculous things when she was drunk, I remember when Katie was wasted she tried to convince us that the mafia put a hit out on her.


When I saw Ariana at Coachella, Jax and Schwartz were with me while Vampire Weekend was playing "Giving up the Gun." We ran into her as that song was starting and left her before that same song even ended -- so that tells you how quick it was. But somehow we had time to "grind" on each other (haha) and go make out behind a port-a-john.

I was actually more entertained by the accusations than anything. As far as the Jax/Kristen rumor, I found it just as humorous and ridiculous. The reason why I wasn't worried like Stassi is because I have way more important things to worry about than stupid things that Katie says when she's drunk. It's just really annoying how Stassi always wants to make every situation all about her.

If you really think about it, I have way more at stake with this rumor considering I'm actually with Kristen, and she isn't and was not with Jax during the time when these things supposedly happened. It's so obvious of Stassi's blatant disregard for everyone's feelings, mainly mine, when she musters up that sad excuse for an apology that had to be asked for.


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