Mazel: Sally Struthers because she could use it. Last night she was arrested on suspicion of operating under the influence in Maine. And while that is never ever ok, by the way that’s the best mug shot I’ve ever seen, I just want to say Sally, this is so weird, we were just talking about you in the WWHL offices last night and saying how much we love you. It was at the exact moment that you were being hauled in. Anyway, Sally if you ever need a designated driver, call me.
Jackhole: The Malaysian car wash that has teamed up with a massage parlour to award loyal customers with cards good for free sex after 10 washes. I say beware of the quality of free car wash sex, your car might be waxed but I doubt those ladies are.